The Newbie
by FunSubs
Summary: There is a new student OC at McKinely High who isn't given a warm welcome. Running away from her troubled past, see seems to still find trouble. The seemingly unimportant challenges end up leading to more serious issues, changing her life forever.
1. First Day

**I do not own Glee, but am borrowing the characters from Ryan Murphy**

**Inspiration and help from Coconutters in lines 18-24! Thanks! Enjoy!**

_**PLEASE REVIEW! My first Glee fic! I LOVE FEEDBACK! :D**_

It was my first day at McKinely High and my first day in Glee Club. I left my old life and past behind me. I was tougher because of it, more than any of the other kids would care to know. I didn't want them to know. They wouldn't understand. I walked into the choir room and put on a smile.

"Ah, and here she is, our newest Glee club member, Nicole!" Mr. Schue introduced.

The rest of the club barely clapped. It was obvious they had other things on their minds. They weren't ready to welcome a new member.

"C'mon guys. You should be excited to have someone else who is just a passionate as you are join the team." he urged the class.

"Mr. Schue, if I may, you don't have to. I can understand why -" I was unexpectedley cut off by another member.

"Why do we need another member? We have enough drama. We have enough balance. I don't understand this." said a tiny girl who seemed to me like a diva.

"Rachel, you're not being fair. She deserves a chance, just like all of you got. I need you guys to be patient and open to having her here." Mr. Schue said, turning to me.

"If it's alright, I think I'll just take my seat now." I walked by him to the risers.

Every member glared at me...well, all but one. One member, a rather fashionable male, was smiling. I walked up to him, returning the smile.

"Can I sit here?" I asked quietly.

"Absolutely!" he moved his bag off of the chair next to him.

"Thank you." I whispered.

"Well, thank you Kurt. See, you guys could learn a thing or two from him!" said our instructor before heading to the board to officially start class.

"I'm Kurt. Kurt Hummel." he said in a quiet tone, holding out his hand.  
>"Oh, I'm Nicole. Nicole Nyce" I shook his hand, smiling at what I believed to be a new friend.<p>

"Charming." he smiled, returning his attention to Mr. Schuester.

At the sound of the bell, Kurt and I walked out of class together.

"You're teeth are really white!" Kurt beamed and I laughed. "They totally match your dress, which by the way, I love!" Kurt touched the fabric on the sleeve, admiring it.

"Well, thank you. I feel it kind of represents me, ya know? It's really calm and subtle, but can also be very bright and stand out." I smiled liking the analogy I came up with.

"Well, I for one love it. Both the connection and the actual dress. It suits you." he walked in front of me to get a better look, then returned to walking by my side.

"And you're very fashion savvy, and I'm not only saying that because you complimented my outfit." I laughed, looking at how different and stylish his clothes were.

He laughed and we faced forward, only to meet what apparently was a tradition here in our Lima high school. Kurt and I each took a slushie to the face. I gasped, unaware of this harassment placed on Glee Club members. I was ready to burst into tears after being soaked and humiliated like that, but Kurt rushed me to the bathroom to help save my dignity. My eyes stung as he tried to avoid the little amount of makeup I had on in an attempt to rid my face of the grape slushie.

"Well, this certainly doesn't represent my personality at all." I mourned, looking in the mirror.

"If you changed and gave that to me, or even came to my house, I bet you I could get that out." Kurt offered, doing his best with the stain at the moment.

"You mean that?" I wondered, a bit shocked at his offer. He nodded

"I am so lucky I brought an extra T-Shirt and jeans!" I wiped a tear away.

"Guess no one warned you about our intelligent, mature jocks, huh?" he laughed, helping to clean me up.

"No. No, they didn't." I smiled at his previous comment. I really liked this kid. I hoped I was right when I sensed 'best friends forever'.

"Hey, thanks for doing this. Everything. Glee Club was pretty cold and that slushie didn't feel too pretty either." I threw away the last towel I had used.

"No problem. The Glee Club will warm up to you, I'm sure. And as for the slushies, well, we get used to it."

After I changed, he escorted me to my next class and helped me through until lunch. We made our way to the cafeteria, until we ran into my favorite jocks.

"I don't think we officially met. Why don't you tell her who I am, Pretty Boy?" he laughed sinisterely.

"Dave Karofsky." he said in an angered tone to me.

"Me and your pal, Kurt here, you see we're buddies." he placed a hand on Kurt's shoulder.

"Don't touch me!" Kurt shook off the hand.

"Why don't you leave me to have a little...a little chat of sorts, with Kurt, huh?" he shoved me gently but just enough to make me hit the lockers behind me.

"You leave her out of this!" Kurt said.

"Oh, you're standing up for _her_, now?" Dave glared.

He shoved Kurt into the lockers, who fell upon impact.

"Why don't you stand up, Pretty Boy, hmm?" Dave kicked him many times in the stomach.

I couldn't watch. I stood up and ran, pushing Karofsky away from Kurt.

"Get off him!" I yelled, sinking down next to Kurt.

"Are you okay?" I asked, touching his cheek as his eyes sparkled with tears he was holding back. He groaned in pain, then nodded slowly.

Suddenly, Dave pulled my hair, making me stand again.

"Hey! You don't touch me, okay?" he yelled.

He took my wrists and pinned me against the lockers.

"You may be the new kid, so I'm gonna let you off with a warning. That's not how it works around here. I don't care if you're a girl. You touch me, I will destroy you and your buddy, Kurt. You got it?" he whispered.

"We might just have to make this routine." he laughed throwing down my wrists and finally walking away.  
>I sank down against the lockers, curling into a ball.<p>

"Hey, I'm sorry that happened. Are you alright?" Kurt asked, crawling next to me.

I wiped a tear from my eye.

"Yeah, yeah. I'll be okay. How 'bout you?" I asked looking into his soft eyes. He just nodded.

"Hey, are you two alright? What happened?" Mr. Schue came running down the hallway towards us.

"Why don't you ask Karofsky?" said Kurt infuriated. He looked down the hall in search of him, but he was out of sight.

"I'm sorry I wasn't here sooner. Are you two okay?" he asked. I looked up.

"Yeah, we're fine." he offered his hand and I took it, letting him help me stand.

Kurt, however, was already standing. He rubbed my shoulder.

"Weren't you wearing a dress before?" he shook off the random thought. "Listen, you guys let me know if this happens again okay?

I stared down at my crossed arms.

"Okay?" he inched a bit closer and touched my arm in order to get his point across.

"Yes. Yes sir."

"Okay, then. I'll see you in Glee."

With that, Mr. Schue walked away.

"That wasn't my fault, was it?" I asked Kurt as we finished our day, skipping out on lunch to be harassed.

"No. They constantly bully me. They won't be satisfied until every Glee member's life is a miserable hell. I'm sorry." he admitted.

I went home that day, thoroughly upset. I came here to get rid of my problems, but somehow created new ones. I cried for a little in my bed, then slept the rest of the night. I woke up afraid, but somehow brave. I wanted to face my problems rather than avoid them. I was tired of running. I skipped into Glee club joyfully and took my seat next to Kurt. He took my hand. I smiled as Rachel and who I now know as Puck sang a beautiful duet together. I gave a standing ovation, and Kurt followed, causing the entire Glee club to stand, applauding. Mr. Schue just smiled at me. After class, he asked to speak to us, which I expected.

"Now, listen. Today I'm going to be hanging around the cafeteria in case, okay? Nice efforts in class by the way." he smiled and sent us off on the rest of our day. Before we knew it, our moment was here.

We walked slowly down the hallway. Just as we expected, Karofsky was waiting. My stomach sank. I _hated_ him. I never believed in hate before, but he changed my mind pretty quickly.

"Listen, we're not going to take this -" Karofsky threw Kurt into the lockers just as soon as he started to speak.

"Hey, stop it! I fought back Karofsky's hands, but he fumbled into his pocket.

I wasn't sure what he pulled out then, but knew a second later. With a quick flick of the wrist, he had whipped out a pocket knife and slashed my cheek.  
>I fell to the floor, cupping the bloody mess. Kurt stared in horror.<p>

"Hey! Hey!" Mr. Schue screamed down the hallway at the boys, but mostly Karofsky.

I could hear him curse under his breath. He offered to help Kurt up, who initially refused, then he looked at me.

"Oh my God! What happened?" he rushed to my side.

The blood dripped through my fingers, so I removed my hand from my cheek. He gasped, his eyes guilty, tearful. He helped me up and rushed me to the nurse.

"I am so sorry. I can assure you nothing like this will happen again. That boy will be expelled." he rubbed my shoulder soothingly as I held ice to my face.

"You believe in me and I completely trust you,being the only teacher who actually talks to me and doesn't hate me. I trusted you when you said you'd be there. I thought you were going to protect us. But, you didn't. You know, I've been through a lot and I am so much stronger than you can imagine, but nothing compares to a broken heart due to a... a friend failing to come through and being true to his word. Uh, listen I gotta go, Mr. Schue. My ride's here and I don't want to keep them waiting." He flinched when I said,"friend failing". It looked like it really hit him hard.

His eyes seemed frozen. They were so sad and ready to cry, but I stood up and walked out of the nurse's office, leaving him there alone.


	2. Finding Trouble

That night, I was starting to feel...not so mad at Mr. Schue. I know he tried his best. I wanted to apologize, to tell him everything was okay, but deep down inside I felt a burning. Somewhere deep inside my soul, I felt anger. I wished he was there earlier to save me. I guess I just wanted a hero and didn't get what I expected. I was going to apologize today. I didn't want to be mad at him and I didn't want him feeling guilt. Kurt, being the very in-depth person he is, filled me in on Mr. Schue and how he works. I didn't realize that having students look up to him and admire him meant so much to him. Now knowing who he was, _I_ admired him. I knew what I had to do.

Walking into Glee wasn't as hard as it should've been, but it still wasn't easy.

"Oh my God, what happened to you?" Tina asked frantically.

I knew I liked her. It was obvious she was truly concerned for me.

"Guys, calm down it's a scratch! Get over it." Santana huffed aggrivated.

It wasn't a scratch. It was a gash. It was slowly healing, but it didn't look pretty. But I had to admit, I kind of felt _tougher_ in a way. I felt like I got more respect with it. People actually cared for once. That was a spin for me. I never had someone there for me like that. My parents had disowned me and I had been on my own for a while. But the thing was, I wasn't a bad kid. I got straight A's in school, but they just didn't care. I guess that also explains why Mr. Schue being there meant so much. He was like a father to me. I guess I just felt he_ needed_ to protect me, because I thought about him as a father. The broken promise didn't help his rep with me, either, though.

"Can we please get on with the lesson, Mr. Schue? As much as I care about the lack of skin on her face, I really would like to learn something."

I had to admit, I wasn't taking a liking to that Berry girl. I didn't think she liked me much. Although I agreed with her, she could've been nicer.

"Alright, take your seats. Today, I think it's important we learn about appreciating the people around us." Mr. Schue scribbled on the board enthusiasticlly.

Kurt and I smiled at each other. I was lucky to have him around. Somehow I think he felt the same way. I wasn't sure why, but he seemed to enjoy my company.

We listened to Mr. Schue's lesson and thought about songs we could do. I was pretty zoned out, though. I couldn't help thinking of the apology I so desparetely needed to give him. What could I say? I tried to rehearse it in my head a few times, but I didn't know what to tell him.

"Nicole. It's time to go." Kurt had said. I was confused about that, but I guess my daydreaming got the best of me.

"Uh, Kurt, I'll meet up with you later. I think I need to talk to someone." he nodded and headed off.

I slowly walked off of the risers, down to the man I looked up to for some reason, regardless that I barely knew him, stood. I guess Kurt described him well.

"Mr. Schue, do you have a minute? Well, actually it's gonna be more than a minute." I swallowed hard, feeling guilty. My voice didn't hide that at all.

"Yeah, of course. How about we step into my office?" his eyes were soft and he was very gentle. I followed him slowly, still thinking of what I could say to him to make things okay.

"What do you wanna talk about?" he spoke softly and acted as if we had all of the time in the world. I took a deep breath.

"Mr. Schue, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have spoken to you like I did yesterday. It wasn't right, especially knowing now that your intentions were all but pure. Kurt has told me so much about you and it made me realize what a good man you really are. I was just...angry at the moment. I was heated and I took all of my anger out on you. It wasn't your fault. I'm really, really sorry." I took another deep breath, then released it, not sure if I said all I needed to.

"Nicole, you shouldn't be sorry. I did make a promise to you both and I guess I just lost track of time, but that doesn't make up for what happened to you. I'm sorry about that. Not that you really want to hear this now, but we will need to speak the principal about Karofsky. This won't stand, not on my watch. Are you gonna be okay?" he touched my forearm and I honestly thought about his question.

"I think I am. Do you have time to talk to Principal Figgins now? I'm willing to go." I stood up after he did and we made our way down the hallway. We sat for a few moments while Karofsky and Kurt came down. Unexpedtedly, another woman came. Mr. Schue quickly filled me in that her name was Sue and that she had been out to destroy the Glee club. If he was trying to reassure me that everything was going to be okay, it wasn't working.

"Alright. I've called you all down here to discuss the matters of yesterday's incident concerning Nicole, Kurt, and David." the principal said informatively.

"What exactly 'happened'?" Sue put quotations around 'happened'. I could already see the hatred. If it involved Glee kids, it didn't matter. Principle Figgins motioned to me.

"Well, Kurt and I were walking to lunch and Karofsky was there, waiting for us. Kurt verbally tried to stop him from doing anything, but Karofsky literally threw Kurt at the lockers. He was after me next. I fought his hands, but he whipped out a...a-" I had to stop for a minute to contain myself.  
>I had never been in this type of situation. The more I talked, the more I relived it in my head, which I didn't enjoy. Sue rolled her eyes, expecting it to be a Glee sob story.<p>

"He pulled out a pocket knife and slashed my cheek." I finished, Mr. Schue and Kurt rubbing my back and shoulders as I let a few tears slip out.

"Wait a minute. Are you saying he actually _cut_ you? He _physically_ cut you?" Sue asked seeming surprised at the accusation placed.

I turned to show her my face, squeezing out a few more tears.

"And what are you going to give him?" Sue asked fiercely. I didn't see this coming. I think she was actually defending me. Inside, I laughed at the thought.

"I was thinking 30 days suspension max." My jaw dropped. I sobbed uncontrollably. Both Will and Sue were infuriated.

"I'm sorry, Sir, but he _attacked_ another student and harmed her physically. I will not let this stand!" Will stood up, yelling bitterly.

"William, what I say stands." Will slammed his hands on Figgins's desk.

"No. I won't let you stand by while in 30 days, this girl will have to live the rest of her high school year living in fear. You will not do this!"

I was taken back at the action in front of me. He seemed so gentle, but I guess when it really mattered...

"Schue, you question my authority again and you'll be fired on the spot!" I thought that was the end. I figured I'd be afraid to walk around a corner for the rest of my high school life, but then something changed my mind.

"You know what? I would rather be fired if it meant I could save a student from danger." he was on a roll, but Sue pushed him out of the way.

"Chia Pet's right. If you don't expell this boy, I will get every news station you could imagine down here to do their stories on the principal who allowed such violence to take place at his school. You know, some may say you're actually encouraging the violence to take place. Is that what you want? In fact, I'll actually sue your ass myself! Look at this poor girl. Hasn't she had enough?" Sue said, making Figgins glance at me. My eyes were full of tears, just pleading he would do the right thing.

"Okay, you guys have a deal. David Karofsky you are now expelled from McKinely High." I jumped for joy as David threw his tantrum. I walked over to Sue and Mr. Schue.

"Thank you so much!" I hugged them both gratefully.

"I am already feeling regret. I don't like this girl already. Schuester, why do you always get the emotional ones?" Sue sounded disgusted, but I knew deep, deep, deep, _deep_ down that she appreciated it and most certainly did not regret it.

"Your welcome, Nicole." Mr. Schue smiled, then tossed a look at Sue for not being nice about it.

We walked out of there and I felt like a new person. Kurt and I could be safe and now Mr. Schue and I were on pretty good terms. I knew exactly who I had to sing about for our lesson. I was going to sing about Kurt, but he said it was alright considering he wanted to sing about his father.  
>I didn't blame him. I liked his father. I mostly liked him for the fact he let me live with Kurt, considering I was homeless and everything.<p>

That night I brainstormed what songs I could sing to thank Mr. Schue for his efforts. He almost got fired for me. He risked his job willingly for me.  
>I was having an extremely hard time finding something that truly expressed how much I appreciated him. I mean, considering I don't open up to people and really haven't been close to anyone in pretty much my entire life, I wanted it to be special. I couldn't settle.<em> Man, I'm starting to sound like that annoying Berry girl<em> I thought to myself. I was happy I let Kurt in. He was the reason I had a place to live. He talked to his father that first day he met me and I just poured my heart out. He eventually told his father who gladly welcomed me. Something about Kurt made me feel...a rush. I usually felt light-headed around him, too, but I brushed off the feelings. Everyone said he was gay, so I wasn't going to attempt to convert.

Caught up in my thoughts, I found a song that actually did describe what I wanted to share, with a few changes by myself.

The next morning, I hustled to Glee, hoping to be able to perform first. I was ready for this. I was a bit concerned he wouldn't know it was meant for him,  
>but if he didn't, I'd just tell him.<p>

"Mr. Schue, would you mind if I performed first today?" I asked quickly, hoping I wasn't too late. He simply laughed at my passion to sing first.

"Of course you can go first. It's good to see you're excited about this." he smiled organizing the papers on his desk as I took my seat.

"Well, it's meant for someone who I appreciate a lot. I just hope they like it." I hoped my hinting was enough.

"I'm sure they'll love it. Good luck." he said as the rest of the kids started piling in.

"Someone looks cheery. Who did you tell off?" Kurt was amused at my bright smile and my obvious ambition.

"I can't believe you would accuse me of such a thing." I scoffed "I'm just happy about my song, that's all. My first performance in glee. It's gotta be special." I was practically bursting at the seams with excitement.

"Oh! Good luck to you! I'm so proud that you're so daring. He's gonna love the song." I really hoped he was right.

"Okay, guys. We're gonna start right away with our performances. Nicole, the stage is yours." he moved out of the way and I handed the pianist my music.

"I was doing my best to find a song that really represented what I wanted to share, and when I fell short, I manipulated a song to properly convey my meaning."

The intro played and I was nervous, but then I saw Kurt and things didn't seem so bad. His smile was inviting and I couldn't help smiling back.

**I want to be just like you  
><strong>**I want everything  
><strong>**So I'll try to be like you  
><strong>**And I'll get swept away**

**I didn't know that it was so cold And  
><strong>**I needed someone to show me the way  
><strong>**So you took my hand and we figured out That  
><strong>**when the tide comes It'd take us away**

**I want you  
><strong>**to See me through  
><strong>**See who I am in here  
><strong>**So lonely inside  
><strong>**So busy out there  
><strong>**And all I wanted was somebody who cares**

After the chorus, I was feeling confident. I sang my heart out, while Kurt danced in his seat and smiled the entire time. Mr. Schue was sitting on the risers, but I only gave him a quick smile once or twice, not really willing to let the whole class in. Santana...glared at me, but I wasn't surprised.

**I'm sinking slowly  
><strong>**So hurry catch me  
><strong>**Your hand is all I have to keep me hanging on  
><strong>**Please can you tell me So I can finally see Where you go when you're gone**

**I want you  
><strong>**to ****See me through  
><strong>**See who I am in here  
><strong>**So lonely inside  
><strong>**So busy out there  
><strong>**And all I wanted was somebody who cares  
><strong>

**All I wanted was somebody who cares  
><strong>**If I need you, I know you'll be there Oh, yeah  
><strong>**I want you to  
><strong>**See me through  
><strong>**See who I am in here  
><strong>**So lonely inside  
><strong>**So busy out there  
><strong>**And all I wanted was somebody who cares**

**Please can you tell me, ****So I can finally see **

**Where you go when you're gone**

Kurt stood up clapping and a few joined in until the entire club was clapping, except Santana. I didn't mind, though. I didn't need her approval.  
>I just needed Mr. Schue to understand it was for him, rather than the expected Kurt. I quickly took my seat, not willingly to be the center of attention for too long with Santana in the room, but not before I took one last look at Mr. Schue. He was still on his feet clapping and smiling brightly. I had a feeling he knew, but I couldn't be sure. Kurt hugged me when I sat back down and we chatted about our ideas based on Mr. Schue's reaction.<p>

"I'm not sure if he knew." I said a bit disappointed.

"Even if he didn't, he was still very proud of you! That should be a victory in itself! Come on, smile." he teased me playfully, still keeping our hushed tones as to not to get yelled at.

I couldn't help it. He made me laugh and I eventually did smile.

"There it is." he smiled, rubbing my shoulder.

Soon enough the bell rang and I told Kurt what I needed to do. He reluctantly let me, at least this time only being afraid of loneliness.

"Mr. Schue...I, I don't know how to put this..." I walked towards him, trying to put some words together in my head.

"What is it, Nicole? By the way, that was a great performance today. I'm really proud of you." he was smiling and it seemed encouraging, so I took a deep breath and went for it. I trusted him, right?

"I sang it for you. I wanted you to know that I appreciate you, especially your efforts in the principal's office, and I wanted to tell you thanks. And that I am really starting to look up to you, not just as a teacher, but as...as a person. I hope I can be like you when I grow up." the words just flowed out of me. I couldn't control them or hold them back. I hoped this wasn't too much. Kurt told me all about the Rachel Berry incident.

"Wow...that's, that's really special. Thank you very much. As an educator that means the world to me to have a student say that. You're really talented, too, by the way. You took that song and made it your own, literally. You know, I think you've inspired me. Thank you, once again." he leaned down to hug me quickly. It was the first time I hugged him, so I was cautious, but it was nice to know he was beginning to like me as a person.

"I've got to run. I have so many musical ideas right now, I've just got to get them down. I'll see you tomorrow!" he paced quickly out the door after grabbing his music and I slowly walked to take my bag.

"So, what was _that_ all about?" a voice asked behind me.

"What? Santana? What are you doing here?" I asked, feeling a bit afraid being all alone with her.

"I want to know why you have been staying after to talk with him. And by the looks of what you said to him and the way he hugged you, well, to me I could see that as dating. So, really, what I wanted to know, is are you seriously sleeping with our teacher?" It wasn't really a question, though. I could already tell that regardless of what I said, she was going to accuse me of something different.

"What? Santana, of course I'm not sleeping with him! That would be wrong and immoral in so many ways. I've been just trying to get to know him better, considering I'm new and I'm going to be spending the rest of the year with him." Her face was so judgemental that I didn't want to even look at her.

"Well, I've got some pictures on my phone that say otherwise. Here's you two smiling at each other, and ooh, here's you two hugging it out..." she flipped through the pictures on her phone.

"Santana stop! Delete them! You've got it all wrong. I am not sleeping with Mr. Schue!" I grabbed my bag and stormed off down the hallway to spend the period in the library.

I closed my eyes and rested my head on the desk, finally crying. Santana had made me so angry, so frustrated! Now my high school life was probably going to be ruined. Why did she have to be so mean? What did I do to her? I had been crying so long I wasn't sure how many classes I missed. It was until I saw Kurt walk in that I realized it was the end of the day. He always came in her to check out the latest magazines available.

"Nicole? What are you doing here? Are you...are you crying?" Kurt came to sit by my side, his hand resting on my back.

"I-I, I went to talk to Mr. Schue about the song and he was really happy, he even hugged me. But then afterwards, after he left, Santana came in and accused me of sleeping with him because I had been staying after to talk to him! She had taken pictures on her phone of us and...and...and now my life is gonna be ruined and I'm dragging him down with me!" I was sobbing into Kurt's shoulder. Then I remembered how much he cared about his clothes and what I was doing to them.

"Kurt, I, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to cry all over your clothes." my voice came in a whisper, almost breathless.

"No, no. It's okay. You mean more than they do to me right now. It's okay, really." Did he really just say I meant more than his clothes? I didn't understand,  
>but I hugged him anyway, trying to wipe away the rest of my tears. He just held me until the moment I finally said I was ready to go home and he took me,<br>not a single word said about my little outburst to his father.

"I won't force you." he had said so caring.

It was in that moment, I knew, that I was in love with him.


	3. As a Team

That morning, nothing happened. Actually nothing happened for a couple of weeks. I was starting to feel confident. I lost all hope when I was called out during Glee Club.

"Oh, and hey Nicole, would you mind staying after class? I've been thinking about your manipulation idea and I've been trying it, but just can't seem to get the hang of it. Do you think you could help me?" he asked, in front of the whole club.

"That sounds...fine, Mr. Schue. Sure." I wanted to sound normal, but I felt Santana's glare on me. It seemed to burn into my soul.

"Great. You guys can head out, or wait the extra minute." Mr. Schue announced sitting at his desk. Puck was the first out the door.

"Great. I'm dead." I said, directing it to Kurt.

"It'll all be okay. You just gotta have some courage, okay? And don't try to do a bad job helping him so it never happens again. You don't want to make him think any less of you." Kurt smiled affectionately and walked out as the bell rang. Santana smiled deviously as she walked out.

"So, Mr. Schue what do you need help with?" I walked to where he now sat at the piano. He slid over and I sat next to him, looking at the music.  
>"Good song, choice." I said. It was going to be Rihanna's "California King Bed".<p>

"Yeah? Thanks. Can I confide in you?" my heart raced. He did trust me. I nodded.

"I've been going out with the guidance counselor, Emma Pillsbury. Recently, we just seem so...distant, ya know? We had a fight and she's so defensive now. Things just aren't the same. Do you think you can help me out?" he looked desperate.

"Absolutely. Now, you met her at school right?" he nodded, a little puzzled. "Do you mind if I add a little bit of reference in there?" he suddenly smiled.

"I would love to hear your genius." he laughed, trying to figure me out.

"Can you give me ten minutes? I'll be finished by then." he looked shocked, probably assuming I was kidding, but I wrote songs all the time. Most of the work was already done for me, so I could do it even easier. After staring at me dumbfounded, he nodded, playing with the notes on his piano.

I stood and leaned over the piano, using it as a table. This came extrememly easy.

"Okay, I'm finished." I said excitedley, sitting back down next to him.

"You're kidding? It's only been 8 minutes!" he gaped at the clock, then back to me.

"Oh, you underestimate me, Mr. Schue. Now, can you play and I'll sing, for the fact that I can't play the piano?" he laughed, but at what I wasn't sure.

"What's so funny?" I asked, feeling a little self consious.

"Oh, I just found it funny there was something you couldn't do when you personalized a song for me in 8 minutes!" I laughed too, then he took a deep breath and began to play.

**You're the best, no one knows**  
><strong>You're always calm, we we're always just that close<strong>  
><strong>Raised fists, foe to foe<strong>  
><strong>We're fighting now, and don't know where to go<strong>

**So how come when I reach out my fingers**  
><strong>It feels like more than distance between us?<strong>

**In the is Lima Loser High school**  
><strong>We're 10,000 miles apart<strong>  
><strong>I've been Lima reminiscing<strong>  
><strong>On our hearts, on our scars<strong>  
><strong>Oh, please,<strong>  
><strong>Please don't be mad at me<strong>

After the chorus he looked so...interested. I couldn't believe he liked it as much as he seemed to. Either he was a good actor, or I had some talent.

**Eye to eye, we don't speak**  
><strong>Side by side, you're standing next to me<strong>  
><strong>Arm in arm, another song, something's always wrong<strong>  
><strong>But you got it perfectly<strong>

**So how come when I reach out my fingers**  
><strong>It seems like more than distance between us<strong>

**In the is Lima Loser High school**  
><strong>We're 10,000 miles apart<strong>  
><strong>I've been Lima reminiscing<strong>  
><strong>On our hearts, on our scars<strong>  
><strong>You'll see<strong>  
><strong>This is my apology<strong>

**Just when I felt like giving up on us**  
><strong>You turn around give me once last rush<strong>  
><strong>You made everything feel better<strong>  
><strong>And even then my eyes got wetter<strong>

**So confused wanna ask you if you love me**  
><strong>But I don't wanna seem so weak<strong>  
><strong>Maybe be I've been Lima reminiscing<strong>

**In the is Lima Loser High school**  
><strong>We're 10,000 miles apart<strong>  
><strong>I've been Lima reminiscing<strong>  
><strong>On our hearts, on our scars<strong>  
><strong>Oh, please<strong>  
><strong>Please don't be mad at me<strong>

**Please don't be mad at me**

"That was...just completely perfect! I can't believe you wrote that! It fits perfectly with what I'm trying to express and it has creative flair! Thank you,  
>so, so much!" he hugged me, laughing exuberantly. "I have to sing this to her right away." he picked up the music, ready to head out of the door.<p>

"Thank you." he turned and said, much more sincerely before walking out.

I played with the keys on the piano, then packed up to go to my next class. _I was so lucky I had a free period after glee club_ I thought, laughing.  
>Then I remembered Santana and her threat. I had to tell Mr. Schue. Maybe we could think of something to prevent it together. I had half an hour left of free period, which was surely enough time. I walked down to Ms. Pillbury's office, but didn't walk in. He was singing the last verse of the song to her. I couldn't disrupt this. She was...smiling. I think he made everything okay. I wasn't going to ruin it. I slowly walked back to the choir room, hoping he'd come back.<p>

"I can't let him fight this on his own." I whispered to myself, determined to warn him. After waiting and waiting for him to return to the choir room, my free period ended. I'd have to stay after school telling him...wouldn't Santana just love that?  
>While walking to my next class, I thought of something. Lunch. Kurt and I could see him during lunch and talk to him. It still wouldn't look good, but I mean, we could warn him, in case she planned anything today.<p>

"Kurt!" I called as we were let out of our last class before lunch.

"Oh, hey, how'd it go with Mr. Schue?" he asked a bit too curiously.

"You're about to find out. Well, if you want to. You know the whole Santana thing I told you about a couple of weeks ago? Well, I had a feeling ever since he mentioned me staying after again, she'd be planning to do something pretty soon. So, I figured during lunch we could go see him and then warn him, so he isn't mad at me later. How does that sound?" My eyes were pleading as I stopped in front of him in the hallway.

"It sounds like a way to disintegrate the last etch of popularity I never had." the second he said that, my face fell. My smile faded and I lost the sparkle in my eyes.

"Are you kidding me? I'm totally in." I smiled brightly, attacking him with a hug.

"Careful, these are originals." he said referencing his clothes.

"Oh, so it's okay when I'm crying?" I joked

"Yes. Yes, it is." he cracked me up sometimes. He was so outgoing and clever and...and perfect.

I smiled darkly, grabbing his hand and pretty much dragging him down the hallway to the choir room.

"You would be so doomed if you weren't my absolute best friend." Kurt laughed, as we entered Mr. Schue's room. I giggled playfully.

"Hey, guys. What are you doing here?" Mr. Schue was sitting on the piano, studying a piece of music while he ate.

"We needed to talk to you. Well, I did, but I dragged Kurt along. Moreso literally."

"Moreso? Um, no, I was dragged." I lightly punched his arm.

"Mr. Schue, there's something serious going on." his eyes hardened, loosing their energetic glow.

"It's Santana." he threw his head back in a groan.

"Of course it's Santana!" he moaned obviously not wanting to deal with her antics at all.

"Okay, regardless of how funny that reaction was, it's pretty serious. A couple of weeks ago, she accused me of sleeping with you because I spent so much time after class, and then I thought she forgot about it, but then with-" he interrupted me

"With class today, I brought it up again...in front of everyone. Oh, man did I mess up. I'm sorry, Nicole." he had been running his fingers through his hair,  
>hoping to think of a solution to our problem.<p>

"It's kind of my fault too. I should've told you about it earlier. Maybe then, it would've had a chance to blow over. I'm sorry, Mr. Schuester." It was the first time I called him by his full last name and he noticed, worry growing on his face.

"What's done is done, now. We're all in this together." he tried to smile, to reassure us it was okay, but I wasn't convinced and neither was Kurt.

"Well, let's brainstorm!" Kurt said just a little too excitedley. We both stared at him.

He took a bite of his sandwich slowly, trying to kill the awkward moment.

"I'm sorry, Nicole, but I don't think there's anything we can do about this. We'll just have to face whatever wrath Santana has, which my bet is, it's gonna be hell.  
>But at least it's affecting both of us and neither has to face it alone." That did make me smile. My whole life I was alone and dealt with problems alone. Now, I had a best friend who cleaned slushies off of me and a teacher who seemed like the father I've always wanted but never got to have. I was tired of facing things alone.<p>

"You guys wanna head back to lunch now I guess?" he asked a bit melancholy. He was lonely.

"Actually, maybe we can all have fun while we can and enjoy some music!" I suggested rather perky.

Kurt and Mr. Schue both laughed, then Mr. Schue looked as if something hit him. I hoped it was a plan against Santana.

"Oh, Nicole! You're song rewrite worked like a charm! Emma isn't angry and we're going strong. Thank you so much." he jumped off the piano. with excitement.

"What now?" Kurt asked.

After explaining it to him, Mr. Schue suggested I performed it for him. Of course, I did.

"Wow, that explains why she wasn't angry anymore." he stood up and continued clapping.

"Well, thank you, I-" I was cut off by the bell, which meant lunch was over. I groaned and so did Kurt.

"Too bad. It was good seeing you guys and Nicole...stay strong. We'll get through this." he said as we were walking out to face the rest of the day.

"Yeah, Mr. Schue. Will do." I smiled, hoping he wouldn't regret befriending me.

In that moment, I felt guilty for not regretting anything regarding the Santana situation. Yes, I could've told him earlier and avoided this whole thing,  
>but I was glad we got the chance to bond.<p>

I had a feeling we'd be bonding _a lot_ more after Santana had her way.


	4. Help From Some Friends

I didn't want to come into school the next day, but I knew I had to. I wasn't risking my 4.0 GPA on someone as petty as Santana. I walked into school and...nothing seemed different. Everyone ignored me as usual and my day went on. I was so confused. What was she planning?

"Looks like you and Schuester caught a break." Kurt also aknowledged. I wanted to slide my hand so badly into his, but I couldn't find the guts to.

"Yeah. I guess we're lucky." I let out a sigh of relief.

"Well, there's always Glee club. She could definitely try something there." he said normally. I stopped walking and looked at him.

"Really? That doesn't comfort me very much." I pointed out. I think he already knew, but felt like screwing with my head for dragging him to the choir room yesterday.

"I'm sorry." he put an hand on the small of my back, then pulled me closer for a minute, his arm around my waist. He soon returned to just having his hand on the small of my back.

"I'm not mad." I said dumbly after about five minutes.

"I would hope not." he said, but not mockingly like I expected. It was...sincere? I couldn't believe he didn't make fun of me for that.

By the time Glee club came, I wasn't really ready. Kurt and I stood at the doorway. I took and deep breath and finally took his hand. He didn't expect it, but I looked at him bravely and intertwined our fingers.

"I just need some support right now." I was about to fall apart right there.

"I know." he whispered and squeezed my hand tighter.

We walked in and sat down together. No one made a remark about us, which was pretty surprising, but really I just figured they didn't care.

Mr. Schue shot me a look and I knew what he meant. He looked serious, but also concerned. He wanted me to be strong. I was still holding Kurt's hand when he began to speak.

"Okay, guys, we've come a long way and soon, we're off to Regionals! So to get us prepared I thought we'd-" he was cut off and my heart skipped a beat.

"Mr. Schue I have a question. There's been a rumor going around that you've been-." he cut her off this time.

"If it doesn't have anything to do with Regionals, I don't want to hear it." he turned back to the board and continued writing the word: Regionals.

"So you are sleeping with a student? That's interesting, Mr. Schue. So why don't you tell us who it is, hmm?" Santana smiled viciously.

"Santana! Would you stop interrupting me? That is completely innapropriate. If you say another word, you're out of this room." He was just as angry as in the principal's office. The rest of the kids were scared; that was evident.

"Uggh! Santana will you stop disrupting my learning. You can be so obnoxious sometimes!" Rachel fumed. I laughed a little at the irony. I thought she was going to defend me...yeah, like that was going to happen.

"Thank you, Rachel. Now for Regionals-." Once again, Santana was flapping her lips.

" Say who it is, Schuester." she growled.

"How would you know he's with a student Santana? Have you been working the pole lately?" Quinn raged. I couldn't believe it. No one could. Quinn stood up for Mr. Schue against Santana. Everyone "ooh-ed".

"Burn!" said Puck, clearly amused.

"Okay, guys can we hold it together here?" Mr. Schue wasn't really asking, but it didn't matter either way. This moment was much too heated.

"What did you just say, Tramp?" Santana sneered.

"Yo, Satana. Cool it." Finn sounded like he was trying to be the responsible one...then we waited a minute.

"So, how much did you pay him?" Everyone burst into hysterics

"Yeah. How'd you knock him out?" Someone else chimed in.

Santana was a bomb ready to go off. She fled out of the room, fuming.

I was gonna get it tomorrow. I finally let go of Kurt's hand and linked my arm with his, leaning my head on his shoulder.

"Okay. So, who wants to talk about Regionals?" Mr. Schue clapped his hands together.

"Aren't you gonna check on her?" Mike asked.

"What is he? A dragon slayer?" laughed Puck.

I felt like I was going to die from laughter. At least it wasn't from the wrath of Santana.

"Alright guys, let's settle down. We have to learn to work as a team for Regionals. We're not gonna win it any other way. And who doesn't want to beat out some Vocal Adrenaline?" Mr. Schue had the entire class pumped up. Didn't he know that was the last thing you did with teenagers?

The rest of the class period, we worked on team building excercises, but really it was just an excuse to let us talk.

"Hey, that was pretty cool what you did to Santana." I said to Quinn.

"I wasn't gonna let her take Mr. Schue down like that...or you." My heart felt stopped and Kurt inhaled a breath sharply.

"But...h-how did you...?" That was all I could get out.

"Don't worry. I know you didn't do it. I'm on your side...we kind of all are. " Everyone nodded their heads in agreement.

"But how did you...?" I still wondered

"Santana tried to pin us all against you. We weren't gonna go by what she said. We could just tell by the look on your face, the way you held Kurt's hand, and the way Mr. Schue looked at you, that you obviously didn't do anything wrong." Mercedes answered

"We've got your back." Artie said happily.

I was ready to burst into tears at their kindness. I certainly had more friends than just Kurt. He would always be my best friend, but he wasn't my only friend.

"We've been going out for a while and all she talks about is you. She really can't stand you." Puck said. The words hit me like a rock.

"What did I do to her?" I asked my thought out loud.

"It's not something you did." said Tina.

"Then what? What could it possibly be?" I was falling apart. Although Mr. Schue pretended not to hear a thing, I knew he heard every word.

"It's what your are." Finn spoke quietly.

"Wait, what do you guys mean?" We all looked up as Mr. Schue walked over.

"She's jealous. She's jealous of your looks, of your talent. She's jealous that you're liked. Accepted." It all made sense now. That's why she didn't clap during my performance and she hated when I was getting compassion for my cut.

"Hey, I just got a text from Santana!"Brittany said. Only she would pull her phone out in the middle of class.

"I'm gonna pretend like I don't see this." said Mr. Schue who wasn't gonna bust her because it probably concerned us.

"What's it say?" asked Mercedes.

"It says...tell that li-...litt...tell that..." Brittany struggled to comprehend.

Puck took the phone out of her hand.

"Tell that little slut she's gonna be finished by tomorrow." Read Puck.

My stomach felt twisted and my eyes watered.

"Why does Santana call _her_ the slut?" asked Finn, missing the bigger picture. Puck hit him in the arm.

Mr. Schue put a hand on my shoulder.

The bell rang and everyone stood still for a moment.

"Come on. You're safe for today." Kurt wrapped an arm around my waist and we continued the day.

I had a feeling I was going to need more than help from my friends.


	5. Wicked

"Kurt. I really don't want to." I said sitting in his car outside of the school.

"I know you don't, but I'm gonna be there. Everything's gonna be okay." I still was uneasy. It wasn't that I didn't trust him, because I did. I just didn't want to have to face today.

"And remember. You have me, Mr. Schue's in the same situation, possibly worse, and all the Glee kids are on your side. We can do this." He was right. And Mr. Schue promised me we wouldn't have to face it alone. I couldn't back out on him.

"Okay." I stepped out of the door he had been holding open for me and then I hugged him. I held on to him for a minute, and after a moment or two, he held me back. I didn't want to let go, but I knew it was now or never. He held out his hand and we walked together into my nightmare.

The second we opened the doors, I regreted it. It was completely silent and everyone stared at us. We walked slowly as everyone parted to make room for us.

"This isn't so bad." Kurt whispered, but I feared the worst was yet to come. Someone broke the silence.

"Slut." I stopped.

"Slut." said another.

"Slut." A few more said.

Within a minute's time, everyone was chanting "slut". I was frozen. I couldn't move. I stood there, clinging on to Kurt while they chanted. Tears streamed down both my cheeks as I stood there in the middle of a mob, unable to move forward. I think Kurt was entirely shocked, too. Then I saw him: Mr. Schue. I guessed he was looking for me, but it wouldn't take him long.

"Hey, what's going on?" he tried to look over the crowd and finally pushed his way through. He grabbed my arm and I held onto Kurt so we were both pulled out.

"Come on. Come with me." he ushered us through the hallways.

"Perv." Did someone chant "perv"? Then I saw the posters. It had my picture with the caption "slut", his with the caption "perv", and underneath it had the pictures Santana had taken with her cell phone. They were...everywhere. I couldn't turn a corner without seeing one. Mr. Schue took us to the choir room to get away from the crowd of students.

"Are you okay?" Mr. Schue's hands were on my shoulders and he leaned until he was at eye level with me.

"Yeah. I'm f-fine. Just a little surprised. I'm gonna be okay. But...what about you?" I wiped the last of the tears from my face then focused on his. He didn't look okay. He swallowed hard.

"Mr. Schue, I didn't mean to..." I touched his shoulder. I forgot how much the students's approval meant to him. He allowed one tear to slip out, then took a deep breath and regained control.

"Yeah, I'm gonna be good. Don't worry about me." I let my hand linger on his shoulder and moment more, then took it away. I didn't like seeing this side of him. I can't believe Santana did all this. I would take it and I'd be fine, but to do this to Mr. Schue...it was wicked. She was wicked.

"Kurt? Are you alright?" I asked staring at his glistening eyes.

"That was...intense. I've been bullied before, but that was just hardcore. You both are very strong people." his voice was a bit shaky still.

"Okay, I-I think it's safe for you to get headed to your lockers and then first period. I don't want you to be late. I've heard you're very good students." He tried to fake a smile, but it didn't convince me. It didn't come close to reaching his eyes.

"Okay. See you, Mr. Schue." Kurt and I were just about to walk out but something stopped me.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Schuester." he looked up, eyes still shining. "Stay strong...courage." With that, we walked out the door, thankfully not hearing any sobs, but that wasn't to say they weren't there.

"Together." I whispered to myself as Kurt and I mourned the rest of the day. My heart ached just walking, let alone trying to participate in class and to concentrate on learning when almost the entire student body hated you and you broke your teacher's hopes and dreams by not fixing it earlier.

On my way to Glee, I got a text

**Courage 3 - Kurt**

I smiled. I smiled the biggest I had all day. All week. All year. No, I smiled the biggest I had in my entire life. I smiled even bigger when he was by my side and offering me a hug. I needed a hug. I held him tightly, reluctant to let go. Once Mr. Schuester got up from his seat, we decided it was time to walk in.

We quickly waved and took our seats, ignoring Santana's menacing look. I couldn't help but feel...sorry for her. I actually pitied her.

"Alright, aside from all of the drama, I think we really need to think about Regionals and where we headed. This could be really big for us." Mr. Schue announced, looking mostly at Santana and I.

"I'm just tired of the fueding. I mean, we lost the true meaning of Glee club. I'm not saying you have to love each other to death, but can we put aside all of the hate for a few weeks so we can have a better shot at Regionals?" I didn't want to look Santana.

"Putting it nice and simple: Santana can you be at least a _little_ less of a bitch? No offense or anything." Puck said.

"No, thank you, I will not, _Puckerman_. She's made my life hell!" Santana pointed at me.

"Guys..." Mr. Schue wasn't getting through.

"I'm sorry you feel that way, Santana. I didn't mean to do anything. I just came here to erase my past and start fresh." I was honest, trying to connect with how she was feeling.

"Oh, please! Like anything bad has ever happened to you!" She screamed. That got me bad because before I got here my life sucked. It was even starting to suck now because of her.

"Guys!" Mr. Schue raised his voice, but no one stopped.

"I really hope someday you get everything taken away so you know what it feels like to have nothing!" That was the last straw. I think it was for Kurt, too, because he was the only one who knew.

"You know what? I have had nothing, okay? I'm still there, besides Kurt and the father-like attributes of Mr. Schue. My parents disowned me when I was a little kid. They just dumped me on the road and I haven't lived in a real house until Kurt invited me to live with him. My parents hated me, Santana. They hated me more than anything. It wasn't even like I did bad in school or anything. I have a 4.0 GPA! They just hated me for some unknown reason, okay? I've never had someone love me. You know what that feels like? To never have anyone love you in your life? Everyone complains about their parents and how unfair they are, but, but I would kill for that! I would love to have a parent who did their best to protect me and scolded me when I did something wrong. I was probably only about five when they dropped me off in the middle of some city, but you know, ever since I can remember before then, they beat me. I would be battered and bloodied and they had me tell the school I fell down the stairs. You know how _that_ feels? How much _that_ hurts? So there you go, the secret's out. You have my truth. I really hope you're happy." I was bawling more than I ever had. I ran out of the classroom, just to find myself sobbing on the wall right outside. I could still hear everything.

"You know Santana, sometimes you can be a real bitch." It was Kurt's voice. I couldn't believe what I heard, but I knew his voice.

"Oh, God! Come here, come here." he brought me into his arms there on the floor, just rocking me.

"Nicole, I love you." he placed his hand on my cheek and wiped a few tears away with his thumb, although it was no use.

"What?" my voice was hoarse and broken.

"I love you. I-I thought I was gay but I was wrong. To feel you around me, to hear your laugh, it, it just means the world to me. And when you cry..." his voice began to break as tears spilled out of his eyes.

"When you cry it creates this gaping hole in my heart. And-and it seems it can never be mended again. And, and-and I, I'm sorry." he threw his head down to cry on my shoulder as I cried on him.

Then there was shouting in the choir room.

"You know what, I don't even know who you are anymore, okay! We're through, Santana." Puck had just broken up with Santana. It seemed like all hell was breaking loose in there.

"You know what, Kurt? I'm going back in there. Mr. Schue needs help and I'm not gonna just let him drown." I stood up, wiped my eyes, although everyone knew I was crying and headed back in there. It was completely silent.

"I think we all seriously need to calm down and look what we're doing. We-we're screaming at each other and fighting and disobeying Mr. Schue and it's so wrong. We all need to stop and think about what's up ahead. Right now, we're destroying our chance at Regionals. Is that what we want? To not even get along enough to perform?" I stared at every one of them in silence.

Kurt walked in and I had the courage to glance at Santana. She was...crying. Santana was actually _crying_... We had eye contact for a second and she got up. My heart thumped loudly in my chest. Kurt held my shoulder protectively.

I winced as Santana got closer and then she...hugged me.

"I am so sorry" she sobbed into my shoulder. I hugged her back tightly.

"I...I forgi-" I was cut off by the sound of a cell phone.

Ping! And then another.

Santana shot up as everyone's cell phones seemed to go off.

"Brit, you didn't!" she cried.

"Brittany, what did you do?" Mr. Schue jumped in.

"I sent a video of her outburst to everyone in Santana's contact list." she said dumbly

I was in shock. This was too much for me to handle. Before I knew it, I fell to the ground, but not before smacking my head on the piano.

_Santana is wicked_ I thought to myself before my vision darkened and I passed out.


	6. Let It Out

I woke up with a pounding headache. I was so dizzy. But I seemed to remember everything. I remembered thinking of her as 'wicked' and then the cells phones and how the video got sent around the school. Why did Brittany do it? It was too much for me. I sat up to see Kurt talking to Mr. Schue, I assumed about me.

"Hey." I grunted as I tried to sit up. "Oh my gosh! Nicole!" Kurt ran to sit next to me.

"I was scared to death." he cried in my hair. I put my hand over his.

"I'm sorry." I felt bad that I did that to him.

"I actually started pouring out my Emmy winning emotional sob story. I told him...about us. I hope you don't mind." he looked afraid as if I'd ever been mad or angry at him before.

"Yes, I'm furious. Of course I'm not mad. I'm the one who trusts the God-damn man with my life!" I laughed, but I could tell I created tension.

"You trust me with your life?" Mr. Schue asked, pulling up a chair to sit across from me.

"Well, yeah. Remember, you're the dad I never had. So, yes. I officially trust you with my life." I was serious then giggled.

They exchanged looks, probably thinking I was crazy.

"No, I'm not crazy, although both of you are thinking it. I just...really missed you guys." It was their turn to laugh a little bit.

"We missed you too. We brought you here and I've been holding you hand by your bedside the entire time, while Mr. Schue has been pacing and driving me crazy." Kurt kissed my cheek, while Mr. Schue rubbed my shoulder.

"I couldn't help it. I was...scared." Mr. Schue admitted sheepishly.

"Scared? I don't think so. He was terrified. It was like he was more afraid than I was." Kurt laughed while Mr. Schue shot him a look.

"What time is it?" I thought, but ended up asking out loud.

"8:15." Kurt said checking his watch.

"I am so sorry! Oh, Mr. Schue I didn't mean to keep you here! I'm sorry. You don't have to stay any longer." I didn't want him to think I was pushing him out, but I didn't want to make him stay any longer. It was weird enough having him with me in my half-bedroom that I shared with Kurt.

"It is getting late, isn't it. I guess I'll get going. Are you guys gonna be alright?" he always asked us that, but I guess he was checking in, making sure he did his job right.

"Actually, I have a question first." He slowly sat back down, afraid of what I might ask. "What happened, after...ya know?" I didn't want to actually say the words...I wouldn't be able to contain myself.

"Well, after having his super panic attack when you passed out, he totally freaked at Santana and Brittany. He forced them to the principal to describe how they started the rumors and had then just sent the video. He really stood up for you. Santana was sobbing uncontrollably like her life was over. She was suspened for 10 days for harassment."

"Wow, Mr. Schue, you sound a lot like Kurt!" I laughed as he placed another hair to its' perfect place. Mr. Schue laughed too, while Kurt just played with his hair, acting as if it wasn't perfect already.

"But thank you very much for caring so much. I really appreciate you coming here. Thank you, Mr. Schuester." he began to stand and I did too, but almost fell over, unsteady on my feet. Mr. Schue held my shoulders so I didn't hit my head on another object as I fell to the floor.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, definitely. Just a little dizzy, still, that's all." I paused for a moment to regain my balance, but even when I had it, he still held my shoulders.

I stared at him for a minute, then threw my arms around his neck. He hugged back, understanding how much everything meant to me right now.

"Thank you." I whispered next to his ear, sniffling just a little bit. I wiped at my eyes, trying to make sure I didn't bawl in front of him.

As he let go, he handed us a piece of paper.

"That's my cell phone number. I want you guys to call me if something's wrong. I don't care what time it is, what the weather's like, or what happens. If anything happens, just call." I clutched it close to my heart.

"I figured you'd like that." he laughed, speaking to me.

"Thanks, Mr. Schue. I appreciate you coming down here, I mean not as much as her. I don't think anyone could possibly care as much as her, but just know I am thankful." Mr. Schue held out his hand to Kurt.

"Oh, you know me better than that." He hugged him for a moment, then released him.

"Thanks again." I smiled. He walked over to me and kissed my forehead.

"If you need anything, just call...or text. I know how teenagers work." he rolled his eyes. "But seriously, I know things are tough right now and though I hate to admit it, it's only going to get worse. But I'll be there. You can count on that. I'll see you guys later." he waved heading up the steps.

The first thing I did was add his number to my speed dial. #2 I thought, deciding it would be best to leave Kurt as #1 on my speed dial. As soon as I finished, I looked up only to find Kurt staring at me.

"You're ridiculous, you know that?" he asked coming to sit next to me.

"Well, thank you very much, Mr. Hummel. I take that as a compliment." I laughed as he put his arm around my shoulder.

"You should. It's one of the many reasons I love you." His words made me look him seriously in the eye, unable to look away. Slowly, he leaned in, placing his hand on my face. I covered it with my hand as we shared our first kiss.

"I love you" I said, hugging him tightly.

"I love you, too" he said kissing my head.

Eventually we curled up on the couch, watching a movie, and I ended up falling asleep curled in his arms.

I was a bit disappointed I didn't wake up that way, because he felt the need to get up before the sun, but I was too impressed as to how he maneuvered from under me without waking me to stay sad.

"Kurt?" I called.

"Moisturizer!" he called back.

I couldn't help but laugh out loud. I was ready in ten minutes while he had been up for 3 hours and still was finishing up.

After he finally finished and we drove to school, my heart raced again. I couldn't believe there was a second time I was in this situation.

"It was bad last time. I don't blame you if you don't want to go in there. I'll take you home if you want."

"No. I'm done running from my problems. I'm gonna face this and I'm going to win. Santana's not after me anymore and for the fact this was actually an accident, I feel more confident. I'm ready." I really wasn't ready after walking in those doors.

It wasn't silent anymore. Everyone was chuckling, all cell phones out. I took a deep breath.

"What a whiny bitch..." One boy said as I walked past him

"Such a baby. Boohoo" said another girl, mocking me.

"Now wonder you're parents didn't love you." That one hit me hard. I walked faster, refusing to let a tear fall. I walked with my head down in shame.

I was shoved and pushed into the lockers as if no one cared anymore.

"Hey, are you okay?" said Kurt who got lost in the crowd a while back.

"N-not really. No." I kept speed walking until I made it to homeroom, where Mr. Schue was waiting.

"M-Mr. Schue. What are you doing here?" I was definitely surprised.

"Mr. Schuester wanted to talk to you." my homeroom teacher said.

I followed him out of the room, sulking.

He brought me into his office and had me sit down.

"I watched you out there. How are you doing?" he rested a hand on mine, which was sprawled lifelessly across his desk.

"I'm fine, Mr. Schue. I'm stronger than you think." I tried to laugh, to hide the pain, but I knew he saw something more. He knew me.

"You think I underestimate you, I know. And sometimes I do, but not this time. No one is strong enough to handle this without a care. This hatred these kids posses and torure you with is bad. As if the verbal harassment wasn't enough, they had to shove you, too. I saw it. You're not okay, as much as you want to believe you are." I didn't make eye contact, afraid I'd cry. His eyes could reach my soul. They told my story.

"Hey, listen, Nicole. I know you want to be able to deal with this, and you feel weak for just wanting to cry your eyes out. But that's not true. And no matter what you or anyone else believes, you'll never be weak. Not to me, or our Glee club after you told them the truth. Just know, someone cares enough about you enough to worry. That's the way I think about it. That's what makes me know you care. I know because you always are apologizing and beating yourself over words that didn't come out right or when you think you did something wrong when you obviously didn't. And I know you don't think I see that kind of stuff, but I do. And to let you in on a little secret, you're one of my favorite role models." I finally looked up at him.

"I knew that would catch your attention. But it's true. You're much stronger than any of us will be in a lifetime and you've been polished by life. And I've been thinking, if you ever need to vent about anything or just need someone to talk you, you can call or text me also on the number I gave you. Did you put it in your phone yet?" I shot him a 'you know I did' look and he laughed.

"Number two..." I whispered.

"What?" he asked a smile playing on to his face.

"Number two on my speed dial. I figured Kurt would be upset if I moved him down from number 1." he smiled and finally suceeded at making me smile, too.

"He's a good guy. You just need to keep him in line." he laughed, seemingly proud he got me to talk and actually engage in the conversation.

"I will. But I'm...I'm scared, Mr. Schue." I wasn't looking at him again, but I wasn't sure I could and contain my tears.

"Of what, Nicole? You can tell me anything." I finally looked up and regretted it. I let a few tears slip.

"I'm afraid Burt won't be happy about it. He doesn't like me. The only reason he took me in was because of my sob story and for the fact Kurt wouldn't stop begging him. I have a feeling he won't take it too well. I just don't want Kurt to have to get hurt because of me." I let a few more tears wet my cheeks.

"He had to beg? Why wouldn't he like you?" Mr. Schue was so concerned at this point as if I told him I were comitting suicide or something.

"He thinks because my parents disowned me that I'm a bad kid. Plus, he doesn't like all of the rumors spreading around the school." I looked down again.

"I don't mean to change the subject, but is there a reason you won't look at me?" he moved his seat so he was in front of me rather than behind his desk. I glanced in his direction, but never made eye contact.

"I-I just don't want you to thnk anything less of me. I-I know you're not all judgemental like that, but deep inside everyone thinks...-" I starting sobbing to myself, not willing to meet his eyes.

"Come here." he pulled me in so I could cry on his shoulder. Boy, did I cry. "I wouldn't ever think less of you, Nicole. Never." I pulled away to finally meet his eyes.

"Do you mean that?" I asked, my eyes shining, still full of tears I was witholding.

"Of course. And if things go awry with Burt, I'll make sure to leave my phone on and available. I'm gonna be here for you. I vowed ever since Karofsky had attacked you and I wasn't there for you, either time. And then when Figgins was gonna to screw us over, I just lost it in there. Just know, you're not gonna be alone, okay?" he swiped a finger under my chin.

"Thanks, Mr. Schue. I really needed this." I comitted to eye contact.

"Anytime. You've been through more in your short years of life than I have in my entire life and most people will ever go through." I hugged him, then he wrote me out a pass for my next class. The classes leading up to Glee weren't bad. They were actually tolerable. I met up with Kurt outside of Glee who was still concerned over his father and telling him.

"It's gonna be okay. We're in this together. All or nothing. Is your phone on silent?" he was confused by the question, but nodded.

I held his hand walking into Glee and we took our usual spots.

"I think despite of everything this club has been through, we've come out stronger. And I know a club member in particular who could really use us right now and there is no doubt in my mind we're gonna be there for her. And eventually, Santana's gonna need us too. And without protest, we're gonna be there for her as well. I'm disappointed at what chaos broke out yesterday, but I think it was neseccary for us to bond and come back together stronger, as a whole." Kurt and I exchanged looks, then started clapping. I encouraged the rest of the group and they did the same.

"I'm telling, you. After all the misery you've been through, you still find a way to be the peppiest person in this room. You're too much." Mr. Schue laughed, bowing in response to the applause.

"It's true. You're kind of too happy. I wouldn't even have showed up today if I had been through what you had. You've got guts. Repect." Puck and I fist-bumped.

"Wow. If the King of Badass-ness respects her, then I think we're all in agreement." Mike said standing up, walking over to me. He held out his hand.

"Welcome to the Glee Club." I shook his hand proudly as my group members clapped.

"As much as I hate to admit it, you're talented. And even though you're stealing my spot as Mr. Schue's favorite, I respect you, too." Rachel said hugging me.

"See, guys. Isn't this better than screaming at each other all the time?" The relief showed in Mr. Schue's attitude clearly.

"Just a little. I liked the drama." Finn admitted

"I mean, I didn't like how people, well person, was getting hurt, but the yelling was kind of fun to do." he corrected himself, hoping not to offend me.

"Well, besides Finn, I'm glad we all can agree on something." Mr. Schue laughed. "So, how about Regionals?" he asked warily, knowing every time he mentioned it, some big fight erupted. We waited for a moment in silence for someone to call someone else out. But we got nothing but silence.

"I've never be happier for quiet in my life." Puck laughed, looking at everyone around him, smiling.

"I couldn't agree more." I smiled, flashing teeth and everything. I was actually happy in Glee for once. That didn't happen often.

But I knew my happiness would have to fade, because the end of the day neared and I would have to go home.


	7. Don't Make Me

"So, who's gonna do the talking?" I wondered in the driveway, hoping he would take on the responsibility.

"I'll do it. I know you're pretty uncomfortable about the situation. It's okay." he leaned in to kiss my lips quickly. I held the kiss a little longer than he expected, but he didn't mind.

"Mmm, what was that for?" he grinned happily

"For luck. For us. Courage. Oh and I bet you didn't check your phone during Glee, did you? I forgot to remind you. I sent you a text." I smiled playfully as he took out his phone.

"Courage." he read out loud. "Thank you." he hugged me tightly.

"Ooh, it looks like rain." I looked at the darkened sky.

"Better get inside." he looked at me confidently.

"Are you ready?" he took my hand, intertwining our fingers.

"As ready as I'll ever be." I kissed his cheek as we proceeded into the house to await our destiny.

"Hey, Dad." Kurt sounded as normal as he ever was going to in this situation.

"Hey, Kurt. Nicole." he always said my name in such a bored, aggrivated tone. I could tell Kurt was feeling uneven.

"Dad, I'm just gonna say it. And nothing you say is going to change it. Nicole and I...we're in love. I never expected it, but it just happened. I hope you can look past your initial beliefs and just accept that she makes me happy." Kurt smiled looking at me, but the look on Burt's face wasn't as happy.

"I want her out." he was so angry, but blunt and in a hushed tone. Kurt's face fell instantly.

"But Dad-" Kurt pleaded. I knew he'd end up getting crushed.

"Either you two break up or she is out of this house." he growled.

"Dad, that's not-"

"No, Kurt. It's...It's alright. I'll go. It's okay, really." Tears filled my eyes as I sat there, lying to his face.

"But, it's about to rain. And you don't have a car and -" I cut him off with a quick kiss.

"I'm gonna get my stuff." I ran downstairs and grabbed all of my belongings, double checking to see if I had my cell phone on hand.

"Okay. Thank you, Burt, for offering your home to me. I really appreciate it. Um, Kurt. I'm gonna miss you. I love you." I released my tears, but didn't completely sob.

"Wait, you can't...Dad, don't make me..." Kurt was speechless. "It's...it's raining now and...and..." Kurt started crying, so I hugged him tightly.

"I love you, too. I'll make sure to be online as much as possible to video chat. Goodbye...I guess." he wiped away his tears and kissed me forcefully, one last time. For now, at least.

"Bye." I let my hand rest on his chest, then slowly let it drop to my side as I walked out into the storm in only my T-Shirt and shorts. The rain was cold, almost refreshing until the wind blew. I took out my phone. I knew just who I needed: Speed Dial #2.

"Hello?" he answered casually.

"M-Mr. Schue...it's Nicole. Are you b-busy right now?" I shivered as the wind whipped my hair and stung my face.

"No, no. What's wrong? Are you okay?" he sounded like he was gonna have a panic attack if I didn't answer him within seconds.

"Would it be okay if I came over?" I asked so innocently.

"Absolutely. Do you want me to pick you up? I can get in my car and drive right now." I could imagine him on the edge of his seat, ready to spring if I said 'yes'.

"That's okay. I'll be fine. See you soon." I smiled, although he couldn't see.

"Alright...I'll see ya." he sounded a bit defeated, but I think he was happy he'd get to see me again.

I walked, no, I trudged through the rain as it burned me eyes combined with my never-ending tears.

I took out my phone and did my best to text with my wet screen.

**I love you, Kurt. No worries. I'm going to Schue's.**

**I guess it's not all that bad, then.**

I could sense some attitude. I guess he thought I kind of gave up. But I learned fighting never really helped anything. I didn't need to get him kicked out of his own home, too. He'd understand in time.

**No, it still hurts. I miss you.**

**I miss you too.**

I think he was still trying to cool down. He probably had a heated fight with his father so I let the short texts go and didn't ask him to elaborate.

**U know, u left ur 1 sweatshirt at my house. It still smells like u. Do u want me 2 com over?**

**U don't have too. That is, unless you want an excuse to come over. But evn then, u can stil hav it.**

I liked the idea of him being able to smell my sweatshirt and remember me. I'd see him at school...but it didn't seem like enough.

**U also left something very importnt here.**

**What is it?**

What would I have left? It looked to me like I had everything.

**I'll hav 2 com over to show u:)**

**Yay! 3**

I was only about a minute from the building now. I put away my phone and ran the rest of the distance, the storm still violently continuing. It was nice to finally feel warmth. The building was nice and toasty, but I was still soaked head to toe and dripping. I decided I'd take the stairs so I didn't anger any of the tenants or guests for getting the elevator wet. I ran as fast as I could, then stopped at the end of his hallway to catch my breath. Once I did, I knocked as I created a pool of water at my feet the longer I stood there.

"Nicole? Oh my God." he ushered me in. "Do you have clothes to change into?"

"Yeah. Mostly summer ones, but that's besides the point." He sent me to the guest room to change and he left a sweatshirt outside the door.

Although it was big on me, I liked it. It smelled like him, too. Now I knew exactly what Kurt meant.

"So, are you willing to talk about what happened?" he asked walking towards me.

"I... I think so." he lead me to the couch and we sat a very comfortable distance apart. I myself sat, full body on the couch, facing him cross-legged.

"You can trust me. I won't tell a soul if you don't want me to" Mr. Schue placed a hand on his heart. I laughed slightly.

"I trust you. Remember when I was talking to you about Burt? Well, it turns out he_ really_ disliked the relationship and gave us a choice: Either we broke up or I wasn't permitted in the house anymore. So, I of course, told Kurt it would be best if I left. I wasn't going to break ties with the love of my life because his father disagreed. I think he's a little upset that I didn't fight more for us, but I'm tired of all the fighting." Mr. Schue nodded sympathetically.

"I don't really blame you for that." he laughed a little, then realized it wasn't appropriate, so stopped abruptly, but I laughed, just to show him it was okay.

"So, Burt just sent me out into the storm, despite poor Kurt's pleads to at least wait until the storm ended. So...here I am." I stared at him as he suddenly had this look of worry touch his face. No, no. It didn't _touch_ his face...it _engulfed_ it.

"Mr. Schue, are you okay?" I didn't understand his reaction. I kind of expected him to be either sad or angry, but to look..._afraid_? That didn't make sense.

"So, what you're saying is he sent you out on the street in the rain, with no other place to turn to? He must _really_ not like you. I mean I thought you were overdramatizing a bit, but _wow!_ I guess not. I'm sorry, this isn't the time for joking." he did his best to stop his laughter, but he had a point.

"No, you're right. It does take some pretty deep hatred to do that." I laughed a little, then remembered how upset Kurt was and I dropped my smile. His expression automatically turned to worried.

"Wait...so do you really have no one to go to now?" he asked, his voice almost breaking, just at the thought.

"It's nothing I haven't experienced before...I mean, I've been there. I'm used to it. I'll pull through." I was smiling, but his expression was so grim.

"You know, I've always wanted a daughter. The whole thing with Terri really ticked me off and I know it's late now and wouldn't be the same, but..." he took a deep breath. I really hoped he was about to ask what I thought he was.

"Would you want to be my daughter? I mean you can stay here and I'll take care of you, at least until your graduation..." Once again, I had to shoot him that 'as if you don't already know' look.

"Are you kidding? Do you even have to ask? I screamed excitedely, bouncing up and down.

"Okay, okay. Bad idea." he held his ear, chuckling.

Just then, someone knocked on the door. I could only imagine.

"Oh, shoot! Mr. Schue I forgot to tell you that Kurt was coming over to drop something off. Is that okay?" I was suddenly worried, like he would completely hate me for this, even though deep down I knew he wouldn't.

"Relax. It's fine." he laughed getting up to get the door.

"Hey, Kurt, how's it-" I ran in a mad dash towards Kurt and leaped in his arms.

"Wow, you smell like Mr. Schue. That's different." Kurt breathed.

"Sweatshirt. You have mine." he blushed slightly.

"So, can I see what you were talking about?" I was eager.

"Oh, right. He moved past Mr. Schue to grab the bag.

"Okay, close your eyes." he ordered. I did as commanded.

"Now...open!" I gasped, absolutely breathless.

It was my white sundress that still had the purple slushie stain on it.

"We never remembered to try and get it out." Kurt sighed.

"Would Mr. Schue have what you would need?" He thought about that.

"Laundry room." Mr. Schue pointed him in the right direction.

"Okay, so can you explain the importance of it, please?" Mr. Schue asked after Kurt was gone.

"Well, Mr. Schue, -" he cut me off for a moment.

"Call me Will. Well, here." I nodded

"Okay, _Will_, it was the dress I wore on the first day of school where I met Kurt in Glee and right afterwards as we were walking together in the hallway, Karofsky and his boys slushied us, but mostly me. Kurt promised we'd try and get it out,but it never really crossed our minds again." I explained, hardly taking a breath at all.

"And you also major in talking for long periods of time without taking a single breath?" he mocked me gently.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I do." I scoffed.

"Should we check on him?" I wondered after he was gone at least ten minutes.

"I wouldn't. It would only disrupt and distract his genius." Will laughed.

"Good point." I laughed, but my smiled soon faded. The reality of my situation was just hitting me. I mean, almost everyone in school _hated_ me. How does a person _deal with that_? My heart felt heavy like my chest was closing in. My breathing was a bit rough and grew ragged. I didn't want to do this here. I immediatley felt his stare on me.

"Hey, are you okay?" He touched my shoulder, so I shook off the feelings of sadness and fear.

"Yeah, sorry Will. I'm alright." My stomach ached and I instantly felt sick.

"Hey, you know you don't have to be afraid. We talked about this. I could never think any less of you." his arm was still on my shoulder and his voice was very serious.

"I know, I know. I think I'm gonna check on Kurt real quick." he nodded, giving my shoulder one last squeeze.

"Kurt? How's it going?" He looked like a scientist with all types of products and chemicals out.

"I think I saved it." Kurt held up a perfectly white dress, no sign of any purple slushie residue.

"Oh, thank you." I threw my arms around him and he chuckled at my dramatic reaction.

"Your Welcome..." his grip loosened and he grew stiff after a moment of holding me and smelling my hair. "I-I...I think I need to go." He let go of me suddenly and dropped the dress in my hands.

"Kurt, where...?" I called, hoping he'd come back, but I heard the door slam.

"Nicole? What was that all about?" Will was getting up to come and check on me.

"I honestly don't know." I said sounding bored, although I was really just heartbroken. I maneuvered past him and sunk down against a wall, clutching my knees to my chest, just thinking.

"You can talk to me, okay? Something's obviously going on with you." He was kneeling beside me while I stared forward rather than at him.

"Please. Something's wrong. I'll leave you alone for now, but if you want me, just call, okay? You're not alone." Will had turned my face towards his and kissed my head.

I took out my phone.

**Courage. I still love you.**

I didn't expect an answer, but I didn't need one. I just needed him to remember to stay strong and that I loved him, no matter what he did.

"Um, Will?" he turned around so quickly and was by my side in record time. "Where is my room?" He was disappointed that I wasn't going to talk, but he led me to my room and left. Singing always made me feel better about things, so it was worth a shot.

**I'm trying, not to give up,  
><strong>**But it's hard to say I'm scared...**

**Baby I love you  
><strong>**Don't want to lose you  
><strong>**Don't make me let you go**

**Took such a long time  
><strong>**For me to find you  
><strong>**Don't make me let you go**

**Baby, I'm beggin please  
><strong>**I'm down here on my knees  
><strong>**I don't want to have to set you free**

**Don't make me...Don't make me**

I stared out the window at the rain while I sang. I could tell Will was staring at me, as worried as he'd ever been, but I couldn't blame him for that. He had a right to be worried. I was scared. I didnt' want to continue going to school. I wanted to run away. It wasn't like I didn't love Will or Kurt or my friends in Glee, but I couldn't just go through the motions anymore. I had to leave. _I'll give it a few more days. I'll write them letters. I just can't compromise myself for others anymore..._I thought to myself.

"You know, that was pretty. I can get how you feel like music is you're only way to talk to someone. I get it. But it couldn't hurt to try." I knew he was right in a sense, but it could hurt to try. It _would_ hurt.

"I know it means a lot to you to make you feel like you helped one of your students, so okay. I'll talk." I patted the space on the bed next to me

He quickly paced and sat next to me.

"The thing is, everything just seems to be hitting me now. I mean pretty much everyone at school hates me and now I was kicked out of the only placed I ever called home just for being in love. I finally found someone who loved me for the first time in my life and now it's all gone. I know...I know I can see him in school, but it's just not the same. I just can't help but remember my parents and what they did even though nothing was wrong...and...and" my voice was breaking and I finally whimpered. I let the tears just flow as Will held me tight against his chest.

He had been ready for this. He knew I just bottling up all of my tears until now. That's why he wanted me to talk to him.

"It's okay. It's okay. Shh...I know, what he did was wrong and unfair. It's okay. I'm not going anywhere." he kept mumbling comforting things against my hair. He rocked me back and forth until I calmed down.

"I know that right now this school year for you has been nothing but hell and you want to be done. But you have to remember, you'll never face it alone. You have Kurt and you have the Glee club members and I, well I'm certainly not going to abandon or kick you out. Especially not for being in love." I wiped my tears and sniffled.

"Stay strong." I whispered, my voice still on the edge. He nodded, a tear or two slipping out of him, too.

I just slowly hugged him one more time.

"Th-the way you look at me...what is that?"I didn't really expect that to come out of my mouth, but surely enough it did.

"W-What look?" he didn't understand.

"The look right now. You're crying and you're eyes have lost their sparkle." I wiped a tear from his cheek.

"I-It just kills me...it kills me knowing I'll never be able to completely help you. You have been...your heart's been beaten and battered and...and I can never really fix this. I mean...as if your chilldhood wasn't enough, Santana had to go and completely _break_ you. I-I,I just can't take it. It's been eating away at me and I keep hoping you'll be alright...but I know that no one can fully recover. It's just not fair!" he was sobbing, but also really angry and frustrated. I wasn't sure whether to hold him or back away so he could throw something.

He made me really not want to leave. I didn't want him to have to be like this, but I couldn't just suffer because I wanted him to be happy. I've done that much too long. I'd give myself a day or two. It depended how I felt when the time came.

I held him for what I believed to be hours. It was getting dark outside and I was getting tired, but I didn't want to break the hold first. Maybe if I yawned...

"Oh, gosh. I'm sorry. Are you tired? I didn't mean to stay this long, but-"

"It's okay. I didn't mind. You were always there for me and I'm gonna be there for you." I was starting to sound like him.

"Thanks...I guess, um, I'll let you rest then. Goodnight." he started to stand, but I stopped him. I stood on my bed to be his height and I hugged him tightly.

"Thank you so much...for everything. I love you, Will." My words were sincere and held on for a long period of time, but he never responded. Eventually he let go and I laid down while he turned out the light...disappointed. That would sting when I had to leave. But I would remember, and that would hold me over...

I hoped.


	8. Staying's Worse Than Leaving

I cried a bit laying there in the darkness. I guess it was a bit early to say I loved him, but I was leaving. I'd be able to fit everything I needed in my one tote bag and Will couldn't get too suspicious. I'd just bring it all to school, write my letters during school, and come back here quick to drop them off. I would simply leave Kurt's with Will because I knew he'd come back looking for me after school, or Will would call him when he found out. I just had to make the choice that staying's worse than leaving.

The next morning was hard. It was hard to see Will smiling and cooking breakfast as if everything was okay now. This was going to be so hard for him. I knew it wouldn't seem fair first for him, but I felt he'd understand in time. If anyone, he'd understand. I had a feeling he'd have to try and explain everything to Kurt. Kurt would just be upset and he would turn it into anger and frustration. I knew I was giving Burt another reason to hate me, but it didn't matter. My safety, emotionally and physically was most important. Maybe I'd include that.

"Hey, good morning! I hope you like french toast." he was really cheery. I almost felt..._guilty_.

"Absolutely." I smiled taking a seat at the table as he placed a plate in front of me. "Thanks."

"You know, I was thinking, we really could use some family photos. I mean, I know it's kind of a new thing, but you're not gonna be here that long, so why not?"

"You know what? I have my camera and we could take one right now." I suggested. Without giving him time to respond, I hurried to get my camera from my bag. I guess when I stopped by later to drop of the letters I could print it out real quick.

"Okay." I went to stand by his side as I held up the camera. "Smile." I whispered, hoping mine would look genuine enough.

"That looks great. Will you print it off later?" he asked, setting his own breakfast at the table.

"Of course." I hoped my voice didn't let my secrets show.

He smiled and we continued on with breakfast.

School wasn't any easier and not just because I was slandered the entire time I walked through the hallway. The first thing I did was walk to Kurt's locker, only to find him fixing his already-perfect hair in the mirror.

"What's up?" I sounded cute and cheery as I hoped.

"Hey, Nicole. Listen, I'm really sorry about yesterday. I didn't mean to leave you there like that and all but-"

"Are you gonna kiss me or not?" I giggled. He sighed in relief.

I held his face as he leaned in to kiss me. Instead of it being short and sweet, I deepened it, holding on to him for longer. I had to make it last. After about another minute or two, I finally pulled back.

"That was...just...wow. What was that for?" he asked smiling

"It was because I love you. I love you so so much Kurt. I just, wanted you to know that." I laughed it off, trying to hide the pain in my voice.

"I love you, too." he kissed my forehead and walked off before I could stop him. I had a good feeling my heart would be breaking a lot more today.

_Homeroom_ I thought. _What a perfect place._

Dear Will,  
>I know this is going to be hard, but if you're reading this, I'm gone. I don't know where to or what I'll be doing there, but I do know it's the best. "Staying's Worse Than Leaving" to be exact. School had just become too much, let alone all the drama in between. I know you always say you'll never look down on me for being weak or vulnerable, but I give you permission to. I couldn't hang on. Believe me, though. I wanted to hand on for you and Kurt...I just couldn't. I hope you can understand. If anything, please try and keep a watch on Kurt please. And yourself. It's not your fault. You were the greatest teacher, person, and dad I've ever met in my entire life. Thank you for everything. Tell the Glee members that I'm sorry. It's not something I wanted. Don't come looking for me either. I guess that sounds harsh and all but "If you love someone, you must set them free. If they come back, they're yours, but if they don't, they never were". I <em>will<em> come back, Will. I promise you that. I love you so much and hope I can come back soon, but I doubt I'll be back for Regionals. I'm sorry. I love you, Will.  
>Your Lifetime Daughter,<br>Nicole

That was one of the hardest things I ever had to do in my life. I was so lucky I didn't start bawling. I barely made it through to Glee club, but I was thankful I did.

"Mr. Schue, it's gonna seem random, and it is, but can I just perform a song, un-related to Regionals what-so-ever, just for the fact I haven't performed in a while?" That sounded even more absurd coming out of my mouth than in my head.

"Sure, but after this. Take a seat." I was confused, but sat down.

"What is he-?" But Kurt was already standing up. I had no idea what was going on.

"We know that this year has been more than hell for you, and we wanted to make it up to you." Mercedes announced.

"Here's to you."Puck smiled and it was actually...genuine. I never thought I'd see the day. Mr. Schue sat down at the piano and began.

**It's like a storm**  
><strong>That cuts a path<strong>  
><strong>It breaks your will<strong>  
><strong>It feels like that<strong>  
><strong>You think you're lost<strong>  
><strong>But you're not lost <strong>  
><strong>On your own<strong>  
><strong>You're not alone<strong>

Finn started the song with Puck joining in. I was already in tears.

**I will stand by you**  
><strong>I will help you through<strong>  
><strong>When you've done all you can do<strong>  
><strong>And you can't cope<strong>  
><strong>I will dry your eyes<strong>  
><strong>I will fight your fight<strong>  
><strong>I will hold you tight<strong>  
><strong>And I won't let go<strong>

Kurt took on the next verse, with Will joining in mid-verse. I was absolutely sobbing.

**It hurts my heart**  
><strong>To see you cry<strong>  
><strong>I know it's dark<strong>  
><strong>This part of life<strong>  
><strong>Oh, it finds us all<strong>  
><strong>But we're too small<strong>  
><strong>To stop the rain<strong>  
><strong>Oh, but when it rains<strong>

**I will stand by you**  
><strong>I will help you through<strong>  
><strong>When you've done all you can do<strong>  
><strong>And you can't cope<strong>  
><strong>I will dry your eyes<strong>  
><strong>I will fight your fight<strong>  
><strong>I will hold you tight<strong>  
><strong>And I won't let you fall<strong>

No surprise, Rachel took on the bigger notes and actually smiled. I guess she didn't hate me at all.

**Don't be afraid to fall**  
><strong>I'm right here to catch you<strong>  
><strong>I won't let you down<strong>  
><strong>It won't get you down<strong>  
><strong>You're gonna make it<strong>  
><strong>Yeah, I know you can make it<strong>

Kurt pulled me into the big semi-circle and they all soon connected, forming it around me, while they swayed back and forth.

**Cause I will stand by you**  
><strong>I will help you through<strong>  
><strong>When you've done all you can do<strong>  
><strong>And you can't cope<strong>  
><strong>And I will dry your eyes<strong>  
><strong>I will fight your fight<strong>  
><strong>I will hold you tight<strong>  
><strong>And I won't let go<strong>

**Oh I'm gonna hold you**  
><strong>And I won't let go<strong>  
><strong>Won't let you go<strong>  
><strong>No, I won't<strong>

They all closed in hugging me all at once, then individually.

"I'm sorry if you thought I blew you off this morning. I had to get one last rehearsal in before now." Kurt hugged me the tightest.

"Oh, please Hummel. Like you need rehearsal." Everyone laughed at that and agreed.

"Fine. I needed to direct it, but still. I wasn't trying to blow you off." My eyes were glossier than they already had been.

"Wait a minute. You did _all_ of _this_? Your idea?"

"As much as I would love to take credit, it was all Kurt. Puck was the first on board and we all soon joined, but it was Kurt's idea." Rachel admitted. I glanced at Puck.

"Thank you." I hugged him gently, then turned back to Kurt.

"And thank you." I hugged him tightly, tighter than I ever had. Unexpectedley, he kissed me, in front of everyone. There were a lot of gasps and side-conversations at what they all had just whispered.

"You turned him straight? I've never heard it that way, reversed, yeah sure, but not like that. Damn, you're more badass then I am!" Puck almost choked on the words. I just laughed.

"I guess it's cool to tell you guys we're an item now. Officially." I laughed pecking his lips another time.

"So, Nicole. Would you like to carry on with your random performance now?" Mr. Schue asked.

"Wait, hold on a second. Aren't you living with him? Isn't that kind of like dating your_ brother_?" Finn asked dumbly. Puck hit him in the arm.

I looked at Will who deliberated for a moment then nodded.

"Actually, I'm not living there anymore. Burt didn't approve of the relationship and sent me on my way, so Mr. Schue took me in." I said it quietly, hoping Will didn't take it as being ashamed.

"Whoa...that's hardcore, man." Puck said, being serious for once.

"So, he just kicked you out?" Tina asked shyly.

I looked at Kurt, placing my hand on his chest, then nodded.

"It's not so bad, though. I mean sure I can't be with Kurt as often as I would like, but Mr. Schue is an awesome dad." I turned to see him laugh heartily.

"I bet he is an awesome dad. You're really lucky to have him." Quinn smiled.

"Yeah, I know." I said being honest.

"So, how 'bout that random performance? It'd be really cool to hear you sing again." Finn said, ready to take his seat to watch. I nodded.

"Puck, I'm gonna need your help." he gave me a look of confusion as everyone turned back to sit down. I walked to the corner of the room to give him a guitar. I handed him the music to study and he smiled happily.

"You ready?" I asked after a minute or two. He nodded, playing the intro.

**Leaving's hard...trust me, it's really bad**  
><strong>It'll shake ya, damn-near break ya, it always has<strong>  
><strong>You don't go until you're praying to break even,<strong>  
><strong>Until staying's worse than leaving<strong>

Will was staring at me with pleading, sad eyes. I hoped he didn't know. I forced a smiled and tried to get the sparkle in my eyes to throw him off track.

**God knows we tried everything that we could do**  
><strong>You can keep your pride and blame me if you need to<strong>  
><strong>Even though this freedom feels a lot like treason,<strong>  
><strong>I know staying's worse than leaving<strong>

Everyone was clapping along to the rhythm by this point and tears actually started to form in my eyes. I then remembered I still had a letter to write with only 3 periods left. I hoped it would be enough.

**It's gotta get better, it can't get worse**  
><strong>Hope it's a blessing not a curse<strong>  
><strong>I don't care who passes judgement on my reasons<strong>  
><strong>I know staying's worse than leaving<strong>

I actually smiled for real when Puck started singing back up vocals and urged the group to do the same. Then I saw Kurt and became ecstatic.

**It's gotta get better, it can't get worse**  
><strong>Hope it's a blessing not a curse<strong>  
><strong>I don't care who passes judgement on my reasons<strong>  
><strong>I know staying's worse than leaving<strong>

**Both our hearts let go a long time ago**  
><strong>Words leave scars and Lord knows they heal slow<strong>  
><strong>Our love died but somehow we are both still breathin'<strong>  
><strong>I just hope someday we'll look back on this grievin'<strong>  
><strong>and say, staying's worse than leaving<strong>  
><strong>Yeah, that staying's worse than leaving<strong>

**Yeah, that staying's...**  
><strong>Worse than leaving.<strong>

"That's what I'm talking about!" Puck cheered and the club rised to their feet, not even needing a leader to tell them too. Kurt ran off the risers to pick me up and spin me around. The club soon gathered around again. The "muscle men", Puck and Finn, hoisted me on their shoulders and we did a lap around the classroom. Will watched, trying to smile, but I could see the worry in his eyes. He was scared and I didn't blame him.

"Hey, do you guys mind if I got a picture with the whole Glee Club?" I asked sweetly.

"That'd be awesome!" Finn said as him and Puck let me down gently.

"Wait, who will take the picture? Mr. Schue needs to be in this." I said

"I bet I could get Ms. Pillsbury in here for a moment." With that he rushed out the door to make sure we had enough time. During his abscence, we all got ready and posed for our picture.

"Okay." he came in out of breath. I handed Ms. Pillsbury the camera.

In that moment, though, I felt happy. That happiness soon ended when the bell rang and I was asked to stay after class...again.

"Listen. I know things have been really hard for you for the longest time but...was that song any indication of something?" I really didn't want to lie to his face, but he didn't give me much of a choice.

"What are you talking about? I mean, I've heard that song on the radio so many times and just fell in love with it. I finally found one of those songs that seemed to be fitted for my voice. So, I figured, hey, why don't I sing it?" I was as calm as possible. When you had a childhood like mine, the lying came easy.

"Okay. I just wanted to make sure that you're okay. I worry about you. I mean, you are seriously one of my role models and I just don't want to see you hurting or holding anything back." Will didn't sound satisfied, but I knew he wasn't going to keep prying.

"Thanks. It means a lot to know that someone is there, looking out for me when I need them. I really appreciate that." I went over to hug him and I had to say that I did it graciously. I finally controlled myself enough to not hold it any longer to avoid suspiscion.

"So, how do you feel like spending the rest of your free period?" he asked, his tone a bit lighter than it had been before.

"Um, I think just writing. I'm an avid writer." I smiled, heading over to sit in the front row of the risers.

"I can tell the way you interpreted and rewrote that song. That was incredible." he said watching me open up my notebook.

"Thanks." I laughed, looking up at him for a moment, then back to my paper.

"I know you want to write right now, but I have a number I'd like to sing to you. Do you mind?" I looked up questioningly, but closed my notebook and nodded. He took out his Ipod and the song started.

**There's a hero**  
><strong>If you look inside your heart<strong>  
><strong>You don't have to be afraid<strong>  
><strong>Of what you are<strong>  
><strong>There's an answer<strong>  
><strong>If you reach into your soul<strong>  
><strong>And the sorrow that you know<strong>  
><strong>Will melt away<strong>

I'd never heard him sing like this. There was so much passion...more than usual. I really wish I hadn't agreed to this, because it was tearing me apart.

**And then a hero comes along**  
><strong>With the strength to carry on<strong>  
><strong>And you cast your fears aside<strong>  
><strong>And you know you can survive<strong>  
><strong>So when you feel like hope is gone<strong>  
><strong>Look inside you and be strong<strong>  
><strong>And you'll finally see the truth<strong>  
><strong>That a hero lies in you<strong>

**It's a long road**  
><strong>When you face the world alone<strong>  
><strong>No one reaches out a hand<strong>  
><strong>For you to hold<strong>  
><strong>You can find love<strong>  
><strong>If you search within yourself<strong>  
><strong>And the emptiness you felt<strong>  
><strong>Will disappear<strong>

**And then a hero comes along**  
><strong>With the strength to carry on<strong>  
><strong>And you cast your fears aside<strong>  
><strong>And you know you can survive<strong>  
><strong>So when you feel like hope is gone<strong>  
><strong>Look inside you and be strong<strong>  
><strong>And you'll finally see the truth<strong>  
><strong>That a hero lies in you<strong>

**Lord knows**  
><strong>Dreams are hard to follow<strong>  
><strong>But don't let anyone<strong>  
><strong>Tear them away<strong>  
><strong>Hold on<strong>  
><strong>There will be tomorrow<strong>  
><strong>In time<strong>  
><strong>You'll find the way<strong>

The entire time, tears had been forming and I had contained them, until this moment when I couldn't anymore.

**And then a hero come****s along**  
><strong>With the strength to carry on<strong>  
><strong>And you cast your fears aside<strong>  
><strong>And you know you can survive<strong>  
><strong>So when you feel like hope is gone<strong>  
><strong>Look inside you and be strong<strong>  
><strong>And you'll finally see the truth<strong>  
><strong>That a hero lies in you<strong>

"Will, I-..." I was speechless. I embraced him with all I could.

"I had to...I just don't want to feel like I'm losing you." he, now, was also crying.

"I'll always be your daughter." I cried into his shoulder.

"I never thought you were one for singing girl songs. I guess you've been spending too much time with Kurt." I laughed.

"I guess you're right. Um, I guess you should get back to writing and probably getting ready for your next period as well." he pulled back wiping his eyes, then holding my shoulders. I nodded and returned to my seat and opened my notebook.

Dear Kurt,

I love you so much. I'm really, really gonna miss you. Like I said to Will, I just couldn't compromise myself for everyone else's sake. I'm sorry. I don't want to hurt you and I guess I'm giving your dad all the more reason to hate me, but please try and understand. I know you're gonna be angry and want to look for me but...well, let Will explain that. I promise you I will be back and I will never stop loving you. Just remember to keep on living your life and at least_ try_ to be happy. I left a present for you in my top drawer. Keep it with you. Kurt, the only reason I'm doing this is to protect myself. I know it may seem selfish, but just please listen. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. School is too hard now. I can't deal with the abuse I've been receiving. I've even been getting the video sent to my phone a bunch of times, but I refuse to let Will in on it. Don't let him beat himself up over this either, okay? Keep the glee club in line as well as yourself. I love you, Kurt. I really love you. Courage.  
>Love,<br>Nicole

I closed my notebook and took a deep breath. _20 seconds left_ I thought.

"Are you okay, now?" Mr. Schue asked, staring at me.

"Fine. Are you gonna be okay?" I asked seeing the puffiness in his eyes.

"Yeah, I think so." Just then the bell rang and I slung my bag over my shoulder and bid him farewell.

The second I walked into the hallway, I was slushied, not once, but twice. I was just lucky Kurt was coming to get me so we could walk to class together.

"Come on. Let's get you cleaned up." he whispered holding my shoulders. I guess he saw the whole thing.

It didn't take him long to get me cleaned up: he'd been through it enough times to be an expert.

"No worries. We only missed 5 minutes of English. Considering the circumstances, she'll be alright with it. She likes you." Kurt smiled as we took our time walking through the hallway.

"Kurt, do you mind if I take a picture of us? I mean, we just don't have one and it seems odd." he laughed and nodded, digging through my bag for my camera. He held it out and snapped our picture. It was...breathtaking.

"That's really nice. Make sure you get me a copy." he smiled. I just nodded. English was a blur, especially because we had to write about someone who made a difference in our lives and I couldn't choose, so I had to write two essays.

"Are you okay? You seem kind of off." Kurt noticed as we were finishing the last class of our day.

"Yeah, fine. I just hate the feeling of slushie." I tried to laugh it off but he wasn't buying it. He put a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

"Well here's some luck for your last period of the day." he kissed me so sweetly. "Better?"

"Yes, thank you." I smiled. Then without warning a jock came and shoved me into the lockers. I lost my breath for a moment, then regained it.

"Are you okay?" Kurt asked, holding my face.

"Yeah. I'm used to it now, it's fine." I didn't want him to try and fight back and get himself hurt.

"Let's just go." I pulled his arm and he walked me to my last period: gym. I didn't like gym when I was liked so, I hated it that much more when everyone hated me.

"Alright kids. Today the game's volleyball. Boys vs. Girls. Go." Our gym teacher wasn't very enthusiastic. She didn't like to get involved.

The boys served it and it came in my direction, so all of the girls hurried away, leaving me alone. I hit it back over gracefully, only to get the ball spiked at my face. My nose started to bleed and I held my face, not even bothering to cry.

"Hey, that's no point guys. Richard, you're out for five minutes." she called while trying to inspect my nose.

"Okay, honey you can head to the nurse's office." I grabbed my belongings and walked quickly, hoping to stop the bleeding.

"Oh, dear. What happened?" the nurse said going to grab some tissues.

"Volleyball. The ball was spiked at my face." I said, still holding my nose.

"Here." she handed me the tissues and helped blot the blood away. "You're in glee club, right. You sing?" she asked. I was confused, but nodded.

"Hold them there. I'm gonna call Mr. Schuester to take a look. We want to make sure it won't interfere with your singing. He'd be the best judge. Plus, I know he's also your guardian, so I can have him take you home." the nurse dialed and the phone call was ended quickly. I held my nose until he arrived.

"Nicole, are you okay? Let me take a look." I didn't want to move the tissues. I didn't want him to worry over something else. "Please?" I couldn't say no to him.

I slowly removed the tissues. His fingers lightly traced over my nose. I could tell it was swollen, but I didn't think it was broken.

"How did this happen?" he asked, still examining it.

"Volleyball. The guys thought it would be funny to spike my face." he shook his head.

"I don't think it's broken. I think your singing will stay perfectly intact." I tried to smiled, but it didn't work.

"Would you like to take her home, now?" he nodded and walked me to his car.

The entire drive home I didn't speak. He finally opened the door for me when I got home and unlocked the door.

"Okay, I have some papers to grade at the school, so are you gonna be okay here for a couple more hours? I can always tell Kurt to stop by." he offered. I just smiled and nodded, hugging him goodbye. I walked in and locked the door behind me.

This was it. My goodbye.


	9. Gone

*Will Schuester's P.O.V*

I headed back to the school, but decided to myself that I'd be home earlier. I was worried about her. I mean she definitely had a lot of stuff going on and it just seemed to get worse. And then when she sang that song...why didn't I ask her more questions? God, she needed me and I was more concerned with grading papers. What the hell was my problem? Alright, I'd go, pick up the papers, and come straight home. I couldn't leave her there any longer. I already feared for her life. I mean, I didn't think she was suicidal, but she _should_ be. I sped up a bit and finally reached the school. I ran in, ignoring Sue's comments, and grabbed the papers and was back on the road before I knew it. I picked up my phone to dial Kurt. I was so lucky I had their numbers from Nationals.

"Hello?" he asked into the phone.

"Hey, Kurt. Are you doing anything? Do you mind checking on Nicole? There's a key in the plant nearest the door." I explained trying to keep my cool.

"Yeah, of course, Mr. Schue. I'll be there in five."

"Good. Thanks." With that, I hung up and drove even a little faster.

When I got home, I was horrified. I opened my door to see Kurt sitting on the couch, sobbing uncontrolably into a white dress. No, it was _her_ white dress.

"What's going on, Kurt?" I asked terrified.

"She-She...Oh, God!" he couldn't form words as he choked on his tears.

"It's okay, it's okay. Where is she?" he continued sobbing, not answering my question. I was growing impatient.

"Where is she?" I yelled, but I didn't mean to. He just handed me a letter. I read it quickly, then over again.

"Oh...my God." I breathed, holding back the sobs myself.

"There's more in the envelope." he said between shudders.

I reached inside and pulled out a glossy 4x6. It was the picture from this morning. I could feel one more in the envelope. I slipped my fingers inside and found a picture of the Glee club all together. She looked so...happy. But I could tell it wasn't perfectly genuine.

"God. What did I do?" I started to release the tears, dropping next to Kurt on the couch.

"What's that for?" I asked glancing to the dress.

"She-she said I could have it...it smells...just like her. She also left a T-Shirt behind...I assume for you."Kurt sounded lifeless. That girl really was his one true love.

"It's all my fault." I cried into my hands. Kurt looked towards me and finally calmed a bit.

"What do you mean?" he asked so innocently.

"I-I...The other night she-she told me she loved me and...well, I just couldn't say it back at the time. I never told the girl I loved her. I was her freaking role model and I couldn't say the words when they mattered most. What the hell is wrong with me!" I slammed my fist on the table, only to break into more tears. Kurt motioned for me and I did without a word. He held me in his arms. No wonder she loved him. He was there for her. He was always gonna be there. I on the other hand blew her off.

"It's okay. I-I think I'm gonna try to call her." I could tell he knew it wasn't going to work, I mean she was a smart girl, but he just needed some type of hope to hang on to. He dialed and put it on speaker. It rang twice before going to voicemail. Her voice came on the line and we both just broke inside. Her voice...That would be the only way I'd get by. I could call her endlessly, just to listen to her voice another time.

"Just remember to keep trying." I told him. He nodded, pulling out his laptop.

"Might as well try everything." I nodded as he opened his account._ Offline_ I read.

"So much for that." I spoke, really to myself.

I held my head in my hands feeling a headache coming on from all the crying. I ran a hand through my hair before getting up to grab an aspirin.

"You need one?" I asked before swallowing mine. He shook his head.

"I think I should go. My dad's gonna be mad enough I'm over here. Thanks. I'll see ya." he almost headed out the door, but I stopped him.

"Wait, Kurt. Just...stay strong, okay? What did she say...courage." I held him tightly in a hug before letting him go.

That night, I slept in her bed. It smelled of her all over. I could see the spots on her pillow, stained with just the little bit of makeup she wore. God, she cried in here and I never knew. I didn't sleep at all. I just remembered how it was my fault that in this very room, I didn't tell her I loved her. I never imagined this would happen.

The next morning, it really hit me she was gone. She was just gone. The house was empty and I had to go back to being alone. I cooked breakfast for myself and couldn't even eat it. I was disgusted with myself. I didn't deserve to eat. Instead, I drank some of the alcohol I vowed not to drink with her around.

I was just thankful it was the weekend and I could grieve in peace without the Glee kids asking me a river of questions. I wouldn't be able to hold myself together, then. I searched around her room, hoping to find something else she left behind, maybe something she forgot. I was so frustrated when I came up short. I just needed something else to hang onto...like Kurt. Remembering, I picked up my phone, only to fall into the sweet sound of her voicemail.

"I love you." I whispered into the receiver even though I had ended the call a minute ago.

I decided to spend the entire day in her room. It just felt...right. Like I was making things okay. I couldn't imagine what she was doing now. But I hoped she was happy. She needed that for once. I mean all the odds had been against her numerous times and she still put on a smile. In the midst of my thinking, I saw a little piece of paper poking out from a folder on the shelf. That wasn't mine.

I hurried to go open it to see what it was. I slowly pulled it out, only to see lyrics to a song.

**If I wrote a note to God**  
><strong>I would speak what's in my soul<strong>  
><strong>I'd ask for all the hate to be swept away<strong>  
><strong>For love to overflow<strong>

**If I wrote a note to God**  
><strong>I'd pour my heart out on each page<strong>  
><strong>I'd ask for war to end<strong>  
><strong>and for peace to mend this world<strong>

**I'd say**  
><strong>I'd say<strong>  
><strong>I'd say<strong>

**Give us the strength to make it through**  
><strong>Help us find love, cause love is overdue<strong>  
><strong>And it seems like so much is going wrong<strong>  
><strong>On this road we're on<strong>

**If I wrote a note to God**  
><strong>I'd say please help us find a way<strong>  
><strong>End all the bitterness, put some tenderness<strong>  
><strong>in our hearts<strong>

**I'd say**  
><strong>I'd say<strong>  
><strong>I'd say<strong>

**Give us the strength to make it through**  
><strong>Help us find love, cause love is overdue<strong>  
><strong>And it looks like we haven't got a clue<strong>  
><strong>Need some help from you<strong>

**Grant us the faith to carry on**  
><strong>Give us hope when it seems all hope is gone<strong>  
><strong>Cause it seems like so much is going wrong<strong>  
><strong>On this road we're on<strong>

**No**  
><strong>No<strong>

**We can't do it on our own**

**So**  
><strong>So<strong>

**(Give us the strength to make it through**  
><strong>Help us find love, cause love is overdue)<strong>  
><strong>And it looks like we haven't got a clue<strong>  
><strong>Need some help<strong>

**Grant us the faith to carry on**  
><strong>Give us hope when it seems all hope is gone<strong>  
><strong>Cause it seems like so much is going wrong<strong>  
><strong>On this road we're on<strong>

**No**  
><strong>No<strong>  
><strong>(No) We can't do it on our own<strong>

**(So)**  
><strong>So<strong>

**If I wrote a note to God**

I was tearing up the whole time, then I flipped it to the back.

"If you found this, thank you. If you didn't look, this is my Glee folder. I hoped you'd find it.I've always loved this song because I'd love to write a note to God asking for all of the hate to be swept away. Hate is what forced me away from you. Those kids just harness so much of it for me and I don't understand why. I love you, Will and I love Kurt. I think you should have the Glee club perform this sometime maybe, if only for fun. But I don't want you fired for having such a 'religious song' or anything, so don't do it if you can't. Thanks for being there and I hope to come back soon. I love you both. Goodbye." I could hear her sweet, but pained voice reading this to me in my head.

I knew what I had to do.


	10. Regionals

The weeks passed with no signs of her, so I rehearsed with the kids what would be our setlist. I told them of my ideas and they were completely onboard with it. I did lose precious practices with Puck because he had gotten in a fight with the rest of the football team about her. He had stood up for her and I was really proud of him. He was suspended for 3 days, but returned, ready to learn. I even hired a choreographer to help with us some of our moves. This routine needed to be perfect.

Before we all knew it, we were loading the bus on our way to Regionals. I was certain we'd get through to Nationals, but I couldn't tell the kids that. If I was wrong, they'd be even more heartbroken then they already were without one of their members.

"I know you guys miss her, but we're gonna make her proud. We need to cheer up. This is our shot." I said, looking at all the sullen faces.

"Maybe it's time to let her go." Finn suggested.

"No. She'll never be gone. As long as this Glee club performs, she's here. In all of us." Kurt said. I was proud of him too.

"Exactly. She holds a piece of us. As long as she's not here, we need to keep performing to keep her alive with us." I smiled and got a couple of them to also

"Maybe I'll call her again..." Kurt said. My eyes grew dark and sad.

"How about we warm up instead. It seems beneficial if we're going to have our greatest performance to date." I changed the subject and he went along with it, teaming up with Rachel to lead the group in vocal excercises.

Once the bus stopped and we reached our destination, the kids grew excited again. I loved seeing them happy when it came to performing. Especially because this was the most unselfish type of performing: Dedication.

Vocal Adrenaline was performing first, and we were up next. I checked us in and we continued to wait until it was our turn. Kurt was worried and I didn't blame him. He missed her and so did I. He must've dreamt of performing with her, maybe a duet. And all he got now was a solo. Normally, he'd be thrilled, but the circumstances changed exponentially.

Then I heard it. Vocal Adrenaline only performed one song and we were being called onstage.

"For Nicole." I whispered and the group repeated it as we walked onstage. This was our chance to make everything okay.

*Original P.O.V*

I walked into the large building, only to hear New Directions being called to the stage. I had decided I was done with leaving. If it meant that I had to lose my new father and my boyfried, I wasn't going to continue. I had headed to the school before coming here to find my dress. I was now weaing it as I headed to grab a mic. I figured if I knew the song, why not join in? The man was only too happy to mic me and I headed to a secluded area backstage. Only 2 people were onstage at the moment and they were Puck with his guitar and Kurt at the microphone. I stayed away from the group for fear of being sighted. If I was going to make an entrance, I was going to do it right.

The curtain opened and Kurt made an introduction.

"All the selections performed tonight go out to a dear friend who's in a pretty dark place. We'd like you to keep her in your thoughts and prayers. Thank you."

I almost cried right then and there, then realized I did have a mic on.

Puck strummed the guitar with Kurt's okay and I almost broke. It was one of my favorite songs, sung by Charice. I couldn't let this chance go.

Kurt started:

**I look out my window**  
><strong>And wonder where you are (where you are)<strong>  
><strong>And if you are safe out there<strong>  
><strong>Somewhere in the dark (in the dark)<strong>  
><strong>Time has no meaning<strong>  
><strong>To this broken heart that's mine<strong>

**I see your face  
>Where ever I go<br>I hear your voice  
>I want you to know<strong>

*Will Schuester's P.O.V*

I could hear Kurt's voice grow sad. At least we were going to go out fighting for someone we cared for. We were going out unselfishly. I counted the beats until the chorus, where his voice would eventually break, or he would burst into tears, but as the chorus came along, someone was singing. I closed my eyes, afraid it was a dream. The voice was so...familiar. Rachel? No. Tina? No, definitely not. It was...it was...no, it couldn't be. Surely I was losing it. I opened my eyes only took look up and find Nicole, all dressed, onstage, singing with Kurt. The crowd cheered as if it was part of the routine. I couldn't help but smile.

*Original P.O.V*

**I feel your arms when I'm lonely**  
><strong>I make believe that you are still here with me<strong>  
><strong>It's all I need<strong>  
><strong>I feel your heart as if it was beating with mine<strong>  
><strong>When you're in my world, I am alive<strong>  
><strong>You're all that I need to survive<strong>

We created our own type of choreography, circling around each other, gazing into each other's eyes. If Kurt could look any happier...

**I've got this friend who says, it's time I let you go (let you go)**  
><strong>The way that you loved me, no one else could ever know<strong>  
><strong>You were the best that ever happened to my heart and to my soul (to my soul)<strong>

Kurt sang this part and I echoed. He sounded so passionate about what he was singing, like he meant every word. We joined in for the next part and practically for the rest of the song.

**I see your face**  
><strong>where ever I go<strong>  
><strong>I hear your voice<strong>  
><strong>I want you to know<strong>

**I feel your arms when I'm lonely**  
><strong>I make believe that you are still here with me<strong>  
><strong>It's all I need<strong>  
><strong>I feel your heart as if it was beating with mine<strong>

**And if, I mean when**  
><strong>When I see you again<strong>  
><strong>It will be just the same as it was<strong>  
><strong>And if, I mean when<strong>  
><strong>We're together again<strong>  
><strong>Our souls reunited as one~<strong>

**I feel your arms when I'm lonely**  
><strong>I make believe that you are still here with me<strong>  
><strong>It's all I need<strong>  
><strong>I feel your heart as if it was beating with mine<strong>  
><strong>(I feel your arms when I'm lonely, lonely, lonely)<strong>

**You're in my world**  
><strong>I am alive<strong>  
><strong>You're all that I need to survive<strong>  
><strong>You're all that I need to survive<strong>  
><strong>You're all that I need to survive<strong>

The crowd erupted in cheers as we ended hand against hand in the center of the stage.

"Stay" he turned off his mic for a minute.

"But I don't know-"

"You know how to dance. Just feel the music. We'll back you up, don't worry." he touched my arm and led to me to our beginning positions.

"What song?" I whispered

"Before it Explodes" he grinned michieviously

I nodded, ready for this. He switched back on his mic and we stood, waiting for the music. Our heads were down and he counted on his fingers when to raise them so I wouldn't screw up. One...two...three. Our heads snapped up as the music began and the crowd was pleased.

**Oh, oh.**

Rachel started then Kurt nudged me forward and Rachel urged me to start the song officially.

**It's not a question of love**  
><strong>'Cuz our love has never changed.<strong>  
><strong>But all the little things keep piling up<strong>  
><strong>And life keeps getting in the way<strong>

I let her take the next verse and for the chorus, we all joined in an epic harmony. The choreography wasn't difficult, so I formed around it, making up my own moves and having half the group use what I did, while the others did what they were taught to create a harmonious blend of dancing.

**Don't make this harder than it is**  
><strong>We both knew we'd come to this<strong>  
><strong>Better now than in a year<strong>  
><strong>With lots of tears<strong>  
><strong>And we both hate each other<strong>  
><strong>The fuse has already lit<strong>  
><strong>So how about a final kiss?<strong>  
><strong>And just let it go<strong>

**Stop the madness,**  
><strong>Before it explodes<strong>  
><strong>Before it's out of our control<strong>  
><strong>Let's stop the madness<strong>  
><strong>Before it explodes<strong>  
><strong>We gotta let it go<strong>  
><strong>Before it all explodes<strong>

Kurt followed my lead and we took on the next verse together while Rachel and Finn made their own harmonies.

**Some things we won't understand**  
><strong>And we're both so tired of being misunderstood<strong>  
><strong>So let's just turn and walk away<strong>  
><strong>And hold on to what was good<strong>

**Don't make this harder than it is**  
><strong>We both knew we'd come to this<strong>  
><strong>Better now than in a year<strong>  
><strong>With lots of tears<strong>  
><strong>And we both hate each other<strong>  
><strong>The fuse has already lit<strong>  
><strong>So how about a final kiss?<strong>  
><strong>And just let it go<strong>

I looked out into the crowd as Kurt pointed to where one man stood, clapping along to the beat. Will.

**Stop the madness**  
><strong>Before it explodes<strong>  
><strong>Before it's out of our control<strong>  
><strong>Let's stop the madness<strong>  
><strong>Before it explodes<strong>  
><strong>We gotta let it go<strong>  
><strong>Before it all explodes<strong>

They let me take the Bridge, where I completely used every part of my voice and hit the highest note I had ever before. The rest of the crowd stood applauding and Merecedes and I tagged teamed while belting out notes, with Rachel joining in soon.

**Before it explodes**  
><strong>Before it's out of our control<strong>  
><strong>Let's stop the madness<strong>  
><strong>Before it explodes<strong>  
><strong>We gotta let it go<strong>  
><strong>Before it all explodes<strong>

I paused in my own postition in the center while the rest of the group's pose seemed to mimic mine, but had a bit of a different taste. I just hoped it looked good. We headed off stage and had to make no noise while we took off our mics. That was certainly hard for the group now. Once we were all in the room they had started in, it began.

"Nicole!" Kurt screamed to pick me up and spin me around during a kiss. My head was spinning enough from him alone, as if I needed the actualy dizziness to be induced. I laughed.

"It's so awesome to see you again!" Finn said after Kurt put me down and I hugged him, now in tears after everything.

"You were amazing." Rachel hugged me next.

"I missed having my girl around" Mercedes laughed, also tearing up.

"I'm next. I called it." chimed in Puck, pushing through to hug me. He also picked me up and I couldn't help but bursting out with laughter between tears.

"I missed you." he said putting me down.

"Really? I couldn't tell. You seemed kind of...bored." We all laughed at that and he playfully punched me.

"You have some sick moves, I have to admit that." Mike said.

"He means he missed you." laughed Tina.

"Me too." said Artie and I leaned in to hug him after Tina.

"Good to see ya." said Sam putting out his hand. I shoved it away, hugging him.

"I missed you too. I may not have acted like your best friend in the world, but I did miss you." Quinn hugged me and I could sense the sincerity.

"I lost count of how many days you were gone."

"I missed you, too, Brittany." I pulled her into a hug, which she didn't really know why, but didn't care.

Then someone emerged from the big huddle and everyone stepped back.

"Nicole. I am so so sorry that I-" Santana started.

"I know." I pulled her into a hug. "I forgive you." she hugged back forcefully, and I felt her tears soak the back of my dress.

After a long hug, I turned around to see what everyone was staring at. Will.

"Oh, Mr. Schue. I-I, I am so-" I was cut off by the announcement box.

"Will all memebers participating, please report to the stage for the judge's decision." _Perfect timing_, I thought sarcastically.

"Alright guys. No matter what happens, we did our best. And we already won by getting our member back. That's all that matters. Let's go." he took my hand and we walked to the stage, everyone's heart racing. As we reached the stage, I tightened my grip on his hand and he smiled at me.

"Okay. The third place winners of the Midwest Regional Show Choir competition is...Aural Intensity. Congratulations." Kurt came next to me and also took my hand. I smiled at him as she opened the next card.

"The show choir moving on to Nationals is..." the pause was so much longer than the first one.

My heart raced so quickly.

"Vocal Adrenaline and the New Directions. Congratulations to both of you." I couldn't even fathom it. While everyone jumped and cheered, I stood there for a minute, starstruck. Kurt soon pulled me into a hug and promised to kiss me when we got offstage. I jumped up and down like the rest of the group and even hugged Mr. Schue.

"I am so proud of you." he said although it was hard to hear over the screaming. The audience started to disperse and Vocal Ardenaline and the rest of New Directions started to walk offstage.

"Mr. Schue." I said, still standing at the mic.

"What is it?" he asked, starting to walk back.

"I think you guys should take a seat." I pointed to the now-empty front row seats. He smiled and led the group down off the stage.

I ran backstage and asked the man running the sound system if he would play one last song. He happily agreed and took my IPod.

"I just needed to say thank you" I smiled as the group took their seats. Some of the audience members not yet to the door turned around to see what was going on.

I nodded towards the wings of the stage and he started the music. Kurt's face immediatley lit up knowing what song it was.

**They said when you find love **  
><strong>you'd better hold on<strong>  
><strong>You gotta keep it <strong>  
><strong>close to you<strong>  
><strong>but you gotta give love <strong>  
><strong>if you gonna get love<strong>  
><strong>and you will know when<strong>  
><strong>love's found you<strong>

**So I just wanna thank you**  
><strong>for all you have done<strong>

Puck surprisingly stood up and clapped to the beat. The remaining audience members clapped while they stood as well as the rest of the club.

**Gave me strength **  
><strong>when I had none at all<strong>  
><strong>Gave me hope<strong>  
><strong>when I was running low<strong>  
><strong>Showed me how<strong>  
><strong>to make it through and<strong>  
><strong>For everything <strong>  
><strong>you know I thank you<strong>  
><strong>You believed when I'd no reason to<strong>  
><strong>You were there when I needed you, oh<strong>

**And I just wanna thank you**  
><strong>I just wanna thank you<strong>

**I could imagine a world without you**  
><strong>facing the hard times <strong>  
><strong>all alone<strong>  
><strong>It'd be a cold world<strong>  
><strong>I'd be a lost girl<strong>  
><strong>If I didn't have you <strong>  
><strong>close to home<strong>

**So I just wanna thank you for all you gave up**

**Gave me strength **  
><strong>when I had none at all<strong>  
><strong>Gave me hope<strong>  
><strong>when I was running low<strong>  
><strong>Showed me how <strong>  
><strong>to make it through and<strong>  
><strong>For everything <strong>  
><strong>I wanna thank you<strong>  
><strong>You believed when I had given up<strong>  
><strong>Carried me and I was lifted up<strong>

**I just wanna thank you**  
><strong>I just wanna thank you oh<strong>

**Oh I'll be stranded**  
><strong>I'd be nowhere<strong>  
><strong>Million miles away from all I know oh<strong>

**But you were there to keep me grounded**  
><strong>I counted on you<strong>  
><strong>You brought me home oh<strong>

**You gave me strength**

After I belted out that note, I was shocked. Vocal Adrenaline's lead male singer walked into the auditorium next to the stage and began clapping. I was amazed, but thankful._ Jesse St James_...who would've thought?

**And I'm still standing here**  
><strong>I just wanna thank you<strong>  
><strong>I just wanna thank you<strong>

**Thank You, Thank you, Thank you**

**I just wanna thank you (just wanna thank you)**  
><strong>I just wanna thank you<strong>  
><strong>I just wanna thank you (just wanna thank you)<strong>

I looked out to see nothing but a standing ovation from all who were left. I began shuffling offstage to see them, picking up my IPod and thanking the man on the way.

As I came out of the doors, Will was waiting with arms wide open. I ran at full force and leaped into his arms. He stumbled backward slightly, but regained his balance and focused on me.

"Who would've thought you'd pick another Charice song?" he laughed in my ear.

"Thanks for that too. Making our Regionals completely Charice oriented. It meant a lot. Thank you, thank you all for everything." I lifted my head off his shoulder to look at them all while he still held me in his arms.

"God, did I miss you." he said, nose in my hair.

"I missed you too." I put myself back into the current time, realizing we weren't alone. The glee club just stared awkwardly. They were happy for me, just didn't know how to react.

"I love you." he whispered. I clung onto his neck, then after a moment or two he set me down.

Puck walked up to me and hugged me, picking me up like before.

After he set me down, I took the time to hug each member again.

"I think it's about time we get out of here, huh?" Mr. Schue asked after all the hugging and crying was done.

Kurt and I held hands while the whole time home, the members couldn't help but talk to me about how everything went when I left and how sorry they were and how much they missed me.

"You know that Mr. Schue broke down almost everyday in class?" Kurt whispered to me as we pulled into the school lot with the awaiting parents. I nuzzled my nose into his neck one last time.

Mr. Schue stepped off first, trophy held high.

The parents awaiting to pick up their kids clapped happily.

As we got off the bus, I stood with Mr. Schue and Kurt as he made sure each parent checked in with him about their kids.

The last parent was Burt. Will's hand darted to my shoulder and Kurt's on the small of my back protectively.

"Oh, look. The girl who broke my son's heart is back." he said staring down at me. "What, was it some kind of show-stealer, attention-getting scheme?" he rolled his eyes, ready to take his son home.

"Dad, stop it! Why can't you just understand that I love her and she loves me. All of the rumors about her were false and she has a 4.0 GPA! What is your problem?" Kurt snapped. I never heard him talk to his son like that. Burt's eyes filled with tears. Kurt's expression softened seeing his dad pained.

"Y-You're right, son. She is a good kid. I guess I just didn't want to lose you. I mean after your mom and all..."

"Dad, I-" Kurt started, then decided to hug his father.

"You can come over any time you want. I'm sorry." Burt said over Kurt's shoulder.

"You mean that?" As Kurt let go of his father, we hugged joyfully.

"And, and if it's okay with Mr. Schuester, you can see her whenever, too. I just want you to be happy." Mr. Schue nodded smiling.

"Absolutely." he rubbed my shoulder.

"Mr. Hummel, thank you. I-" Before I could finish my sentence he cut me off with a hug. I happily accepted.

"So, I guess I'll see you tomorrow, Kurt?" my smile was playful.

"Wouldn't have it any other way." he laughed.

"Oh, wait." I acted as if it was a dramatic moment and paused for a minute. "Who's house?" I whispered, watching him crack up in laughter.

"If this is gonna be a problem for you two, how about we just have the Hummels over for dinner?" Will suggested. Both our faces lit up.

"I take that as a yes. We would love to come over Mr. Schuester." said Burt.

"I'll see you then, Kurt. Text me?" he leaned in to kiss me, which was a bit awkward in front of our 'fathers', but it didn't matter. I hugged him goodbye.

"I love you." I said, finally separating.

"I love you, too." he kissed my cheek and walked with his father to his car as I walked with mine.

"It can only get better from here." I said as we finally reached his car.

"That's what you think. I'm gonna have to deal with you singing Charice all the time and having Kurt over." he laughed. As he started the car and the laughing died down, I began to feel sleepy. I could feel Will looking at me and laughing once again.

"Go to sleep. After you leaping into my arms for hugs, I think I can handle carrying you inside." he laughed, but before I could respond, I was alseep.

_It can only get better_ I thought.


	11. Mixed Feelings

It was nice to wake up in my room again, in my bed. I could just faintly smell Will. I guess he was a little more lost than I imagined. I finally turned on my phone only to find 147 missed calls. Will and Kurt pretty much were even, but I noticed that even Puck had called more than once. He didn't call 50 times, but at least he called two or three times. I felt like now I had a best friend. I mean Kurt kind of is my best friend, but really he's my boyfriend, so... I considered having Puck as a best friend. It didn't seem half bad.

My phone lit up with 3 new messages from Kurt. I guess he did text me last night and I was asleep. I sat up and started to walk out to Will making breakfast again. This was nice.

"Good morning. How'd you sleep?" he asked, flipping pancakes.

"Better. Much better. I could smell you, just faintly. I guess you figured I had been crying in there and beat yourself up about it, didn't you?" I didn't want to bring it up again, but I felt like I needed to.

"Yeah, just a little. I slept there the night you left. I could smell you too and saw the small blotches on your pillow." he said, not really looking up at me.

"Yeah. Sorry to bring that up again. I just-"

"No. I'm glad you're talking about what you're feeling. You did amazingly at Regionals by the way. I mean, besides Mike and Brittany, it took everyone so long to learn the moves and then you step foot on the stage and dish out some incredible choreography that blended with the existing. I don't know how you do it." he laughed, putting breakfast on a plate.

"Thanks. You, know, when I was singing, I hit the highest note I ever did. I feel pretty accomplished. But really, I couldn't have done anything right without Kurt. And then he pointed out a man, standing amongst everyone else sitting, clapping along. That what's got me through it, really. I never would've hit that note without seeing him." Will finished putting breakfast on the table and hugged me.

"You were incredible. I couldn't believe they didn't stand up earlier. From that first note, they should've been applauding." he kissed my forehead.

"Thanks." I smiled as we both sat down to eat.

"Did Kurt talk to you last night after we left?" I wondered

"Somehow I knew you were going to ask that. Yeah, he did. He asked about you. I told him you were out like a light and he said that was fine."

"Good. The last thing I need is him mad at me." I shook my head eating some more.

"He told me to tell you he loved you, but I told him he didn't have to remind me, because I was already going to tell you we love you. I love you. And Kurt loves you."

"I love you both, too." I said, looking up at him to smile and I hugged him with my mind.

"Someone else asked about you, too last night." I looked up at him, pretty sure I knew who it was. "It was Puck."

"I should've known. What'd he say?" I was a bit curious, I had to admit.

"Well, it was a 20 minute conversation at like 1 AM. He kept asking how you were, if you were finally getting rest, if you'd be back in school tomorrow, stuff that like."

"20 minutes? That early in the morning? Dang." I said.

"I know. I told Kurt someone was giving him a run for his money." My head shot up. I really didn't want him to be afraid of losing me again.

"Relax. I'm kidding. Puck just cares, that's all. He's worried." I took in another mouthful of breakfast and texted Kurt.

**Hey. Sry I fell asleep last nite. :(**

It didn't take long for him to respond.

**Its ok. U needed rest. my dad's at work. Can I come over?**

I looked up at Will.

"Can Kurt possibly come over now?" I asked, my eyes begging.

He nodded, taking a sip of his coffee.

Thank you I mouthed and he just rolled his eyes playfully.

**Yep!**

I almost put my phone away, then thought it'd be nice to text Puck.

**Hey. Will told me u were askin. im good:)**

The response was extremely quick, like he just waiting.

**thts awsum. so wat r u doin?**

The grammar wasn't the greatest, but I didn't mind. It was just as I expected.

**Just waiting 4 Kurt 2 get here. Then he's having dinner with us. u?**

**Oh. Jus tryn my hand at sum song writin**.

I was shocked at what he was sayin'. I couldn't believe it. I guess my faced showed it, because Will looked up at me.

"Everything okay?" he wondered.

"Oh, yeah. I was just surprised. Puck just told me he's trying to write a song."

So, you're texting Puck now?" he asked, sounding concerned.

"No worries, Will. We're just friends." I turned back to my phone, but he didn't look convinced.

**That's awesome! U'll hav 2 show me sometime!**

**Wel it aint realy workin out. I wanted to perfrm in glee, but i gues i can do anothr song**

I felt bad I was a songwriter and he needed help, but I wasn't going to go that far. That was too much right now.

**Sorry:( Best of luck.**

**Thanks**

With that I closed my phone and put it away. Another five minutes of standing at the door and there was a knock.

"Come in" I said in a sing-song voice.

He opened the door slowly, peeking in to see where I was in the room. Right in front of the door ready to pounce.

He swung it open and took his stance as I jumped into his arms, causing him to tumble onto the floor outside the apartment, me on his side after I fell out of his arms.

I heard Will running and he knelt by my side.

"Are you okay?" he asked removing the tangled hair out of my face. I nodded.

"He obsorbed most of the fall" I laughed, motioning to Kurt who sat up, rubbing his head.

"Are you alright, Kurt?" I asked. He nodded smiling.

I kissed his forehead.

"All better." I smiled as Will picked me up and I held out my hand to Kurt. For once, he took it and allowed me to help him.

"I'm sorry, to both of you." I held my head in shame like a four year old who broke something of mommy's.

"I forgive you." Kurt said, kissing my head. I put my arm around his waist as we walked back into the apartment.

"I should've known you two together would be hazardous to someone's health if not all of ours." Will walked back to the table, rubbing his head as if we gave him a headache.

"Oh, we all know it's my fault." I laughed, almost in a bragging matter.

"Yeah but the thing is I let you." Kurt corrected.

"This is true. So I guess we're both to blame." I kissed the tip of his nose, causing him to laugh and smile.

We were sitting on the couch with my laptop and I cuddled into him. We were watching past Vocal Adrenaline performances, studying their every move.

"I can't believe you guys are doing this. Unbelievable." Will laughed, staring in amazement at how serious we were about seeking weak points and attacking.

"We really wanna win. I mean after our performance at Regionals, we have to be perfect." I explained.

He walked over and took my face in his hands.

"You were perfect. Both of you. That duet was amazing." He smiled, then let go of my face and closed my laptop. "You guys need a break." he laughed.

"Just one more performance, okay?" he rolled his eyes then nodded. I opened up my laptop and checked out their last year's win at Regionals.

Ping.

I received a new message: Puck.

"What's he messaging you for?" Kurt laughed uneasily.

"He's been really worried about everything. I mean I guess he has compassion." I said, ignoring it for now.

"Anyway, let's get back to these performances." he nodded, but uncomfortably.

After studying Vocal Adrenaline's performance, we headed to my room where he explored.

"You have a lot of music." he gaped seeing numerous folders full of music.

"This is true." I laughed, quite entertained at his amazement. "Most of it is my take on certain songs, but some of it is just songs I've always wanted to attempt singing." he turned to me where I was sitting cross legged on the bed.

"Attempt? No, you would own these!" he flipped through the folders, skimming the songs.

"Thanks. You know, I think we should duet more often. I mean Regionals just felt so...right."

"Definitely." he leaned in and kissed me very softly. I put my arms around his neck for a moment and he hugged my body. It was nice.

"So, what do you want to do with all this time we have before dinner?" I asked, smiling brightly.

"Well we have some music here, mostly Charice," he gave a look,"and you have a piano in the living room. How bout it?"

"I don't know. I mean I haven't really sang those songs for anyone." I was nervous to be honest.

"Please. You have nothing to be nervous about." he started walking me into the living room. He leaned into my ear to whisper, "You're better than Rachel Berry."

My skin tingled at the feel of his breath on my ear and neck.

"Oh, please. We're not married, no need to start lying yet." I laughed as we walked to the piano and he sifted through the music once more.

"This one. Do you know this one?" he asked holding up a Charice song. I smiled.

"By heart. But I never practiced it before." I was hoping he'd back out, but I knew he wouldn't.

"Now's the time. You ready, Mr. Schue?" Kurt asked. Will was paying enough attention to know what was going on and smiled.

Kurt gave me one last longing look before starting.

**I may not know where I'm going now  
><strong>**This broken road is trying to tear me down  
><strong>**But deep inside I've found a secret place,  
>that I never knew where I feel safe, when the world is untrue<br>Here's what I've learned to do**

I was obviously nervous, but it wasn't bad. I looked at him once more and gained an ounce more of courage.

**Just sing this song and it takes me right back  
>Where I belong<br>Everyday there's a new bridge to cross  
>But I'm never far from home<br>If I put my heart, my soul, my all  
>In this song<strong>

Will started bobbing his head along to the beat and I could tell he was excited. He knew this song. He knew about the killer notes at the end.

**I don't depend on friends  
>Cuz they come and go<br>My belief in myself Is gonna carry me through  
>And that why I'm learning, oh, I learning yeah,<br>I'm learning to sing**

This verse was much stronger. Will looked ecstatic.

**Just sing this song and it takes me right back  
>Where I belong<br>Everyday there's a new bridge to cross  
>But I'm never far from home If I put my heart, my soul, my all<br>In this song**

**I may not have  
>all the words that I need to say,<br>and I know  
>I won't always be strong but I'm never afraid<br>Because I hold my destiny and it depends on me alone,  
>alone so...<strong>

The note was powerful. I never knew I could produce such a sound.

**Just sing this song and it takes me right back  
>Where I belong<br>Everyday there's a new bridge to cross  
>But I'm never far from home If I put my heart, my soul, my all<br>In this song**

**Just sing this song and it takes me right back  
>Where I belong<br>Everyday there's a new bridge to cross  
>But I'm never far from home If I put my heart, my soul, my all...<strong>  
><strong>I'll keep putting my heart, my soul, my all In this song<br>In this song  
>In this song<strong>

I finished nicely. Will was clapping and Kurt hugged me.

"How did you do that? That was amazing!" he beamed.

"Honestly, incredible! How have I not given you more solos?" Will was excited, too. I was just in shock.

"I think someone just surpassed Miss Rachel Berry." Kurt teased.

"I shouldn't be talking this way about a student to other students, but...yeah. You did." Will hugged my shoulders while I tried to comprehend.

"So, are you guys ready for another? And why don't we film it this time? I mean, no one would believe me and who knows if I can do it again?" They nodded and I went to open the webcam on my laptop. I set up a live feed while Kurt picked another song.

"Okay. How about this song? It's not Charice, but I have faith." I laughed, agreeing as I looked it over after walking back to the piano.

"You ready?" he asked. I nodded, taking a breath.

**Closed off from love **  
><strong>I didn't need the pain <strong>  
><strong>Once or twice was enough <strong>  
><strong>And it was all in vain <strong>  
><strong>Time starts to pass <strong>  
><strong>Before you know it you're frozen<strong>

**But something happened **  
><strong>For the very first time with you <strong>  
><strong>My heart melts into the ground <strong>  
><strong>Found something true <strong>  
><strong>And everyone's looking round <strong>  
><strong>Thinking I'm going crazy<strong>

I felt confident this time. I just belted it out this time, no boundaries.

**But I don't care what they say  
>I'm in love with you<br>They try to pull me away  
>But they don't know the truth<br>My heart's crippled by the vein  
>That I keep on closing<br>You cut me open and I**

**Keep bleeding  
>Keep, keep bleeding love<br>I keep bleeding  
>I keep, keep bleeding love<br>Keep bleeding  
>Keep, keep bleeding love<br>You cut me open**

The ticker with the number of people started to go up from 5 to 10 to 25...

**Trying hard not to hear **  
><strong>But they talk so loud <strong>  
><strong>Their piercing sounds fill my ears <strong>  
><strong>Try to fill me with doubt <strong>  
><strong>Yet I know that the goal Is to keep me from falling<strong>

**But nothing's greater than the rush that comes with your embrace **  
><strong>And in this world of loneliness I see your face <strong>  
><strong>Yet everyone around me <strong>  
><strong>Thinks that I'm going crazy, maybe, maybe<strong>

**But I don't care what they say  
>I'm in love with you<br>They try to pull me away  
>But they don't know the truth<br>My heart's crippled by the vein  
>That I keep on closing<br>You cut me open and I**

**Keep bleeding  
>Keep, keep bleeding love<br>I keep bleeding  
>I keep, keep bleeding love<br>Keep bleeding  
>Keep, keep bleeding love<br>You cut me open**

Here was my shot. With the ticker now at 55, I better not screw this up. They were all probably from McKinely.

**And it's draining all of me **  
><strong>Oh they find it hard to believe <strong>  
><strong>I'll be wearing these scars <strong>  
><strong>For everyone to see<strong>

I couldn't believe it. I hit it, but not only that, strived to hit it an octave higher. I thought Will's jaw was going to fall off.

**But I don't care what they say  
>I'm in love with you<br>They try to pull me away  
>But they don't know the truth<br>My heart's crippled by the vein  
>That I keep on closing<br>You cut me open and I**

**Keep bleeding  
>Keep, keep bleeding love<br>I keep bleeding  
>I keep, keep bleeding love<br>Keep bleeding  
>Keep, keep bleeding love<br>You cut me open**

They both clapped and I headed to my laptop. I had so many chat messages popping up about it. I closed the feed and continued to look at the messages.

**Amazing!**

**Keep singing, gurlll!**

**That was really nice:)**

**Awsum. u shud sing at da asembly nxt fri.**

The spelling was too familiar. It had to be him.

"Wait, Will. Is there an assembly Friday?" I asked as Kurt looked over my shoulder to read the comments.

"Yeah. It's some kind of pep rally. "Dare 2 B Different" or something. Why?" he sipped some coffee and looked up at us.

"Well I mean people think I should sing there and I'd love that. Would I be able to?" I was really hoping. I wasn't really doing it for Puck, but more for myself. Publicity, even just with the school would be good. I mean it's not like because we were headed to Nationals that they'd suddenly like me again.

"I could ask Figgins if the Glee Club could perform and have them do choreography around you and maybe sing some back up." I smiled.

"That would be amazing!" I stood up after closing my laptop to hug Kurt, then Will.

"Thank you so much!" I kissed Will's cheek and thought about what song would be good.

Kurt and I headed back to my room and we cuddled on the bed, looking through my music, trying to figure out what song would be best.

"I don't think any of these are really gonna showcase your talent. They're all great songs, but..."

"They're not good enough. Not for me anyway." I finished his thought.

"I'm sorry." I kissed his cheek and he turned his face and angled himself for a real kiss. It was pretty fantastic, but then again, he was the only boy I had ever kissed.

It felt weird making out, I guess for the fact that Will was around, but Will wasn't like most parents. Will was simply amazing.

"Mm, we should stop. It's kind of weird with Will around and everything. Plus, I don't want to go too far." I said after what seemed like hours.

"Good point." he smiled, pecking my lips one last time. "What time is it?" he asked, truly clueless.

"Um...1:30." I said, pulling out my phone.

"I should be gettin home. My dad will be home soon and I need to get him ready for tonight." he laughed and kissed me on the cheek and we both got up and walked to the living room. I quickly kissed his lips and hugged him goodbye.

"I love you." I said, finally releasing him from my grip.

"I love you, too." he smiled, staring deep into my eyes. "Thanks for letting me come over here, Mr. Schue. We'll be back whenever you're ready." he walked over to shake Will's hand.

"You, know, you can call me Will too." he laughed at Kurt's formal addressing.

"Okay, _Will_." he laughed, shaking his hand a second time, this one being official.

"What you just said when I told you that you could call me Will, she said the same thing. Gosh, you guys could totally pass for siblings." Will laughed, letting go of Kurt's hand.

That's when it hit me. He _would_ pass for my sibling. We weren't meant to be. I knew in that moment. Kurt touched my shoulder as he walked out, only to return later.

"Something wrong?" Will asked, seeing the look of disappointment cross my face.

"No. Not yet, anyway." I smiled, taking my laptop to my room. I decided to look at the message(s) Puck had sent.

**Hey cud I com over sumtime?**

I thought intently at that question. It had been sent 3 hours ago, so it probably didn't matter anyway. I shook off the thought crawling into my brain. Puck. He had always been so concerned about me and I never really took it as anything until now. Did he really _love_ me? Or was this just a scheme to get in my pants? It seemed too genuine to be a scheme. I couldn't be doing this. I already felt guilty as if I was cheating.

To distract me from the thought of him, I flipped through some music, hoping to find inspiration for the assembly. I hated coming up short. But I was going to deliver, regardless of my relationship status.

I paced around my room for the longest time, trying to think of a song that could be catchy, was about going against the status quo and being your best, but also had a killer note I could do. I could completely save myself from being a Lima Loser all my life.

I wondered if Kurt felt like I did about us. I was going to have to talk to him before things got out of hand. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door.

"Nicole. Did you invite someone over?" he asked walking cautiously to the door.

"No. Maybe Kurt forgot something." I suggested. I walked out to see who it was too.

"Look, Mr. Schue. I know I'm kinda coming over here without tellin anyone, but I need to talk to Nicole." He turned to look at me.

"Um, Puck. What about?" I asked, turning to my room, assuming he needed privacy from Will. He followed me at a steady pace and I stopped in front of my bed, turning to face him.

"Look we need to sit down and talk." I was now the cautious one, but I sat back against the wall and he sat in front of me.

"Okay." I said, almost in a whisper. I just got lost in his eyes. I was even more assured Kurt and I weren't meant to be.

He stared into my eyes for a long moment then leaned in and kissed my neck.

"This isn't talking." I said, trying not to be interested.

He continued kissing up and down my neck and into my collarbone.

"Noah-Stop!" I said it rather loudly. I knew Will would be listening.

He pinned my wrists to the wall like Karofsky had and I turned my head away, trying to avoid it no matter how much I wanted it, but his lips still seemed to find mine.

"Hey! Get off her!" yelled Will grabbing his shoulders and tossing him to the side. "Get out here, Puck. It's time for you to go." Will forced him to the door.

"I-I'm sorry" he called as Will threw him out the door.

I cried. Technically, I had just cheated on my boyfriend.

"Are you okay?" he asked, a bit wary to touch me.

"I-I just need to be alone for a little, okay?" I looked into his dark eyes.

"Okay." he surrendered, kissing my head. "Let me know if you need anything."

I curled up against the wall and Will stared at me for a moment. My pocket buzzed and I slipped out my phone.

**What time tonite?**

"That's not Puckerman, is it?" Will was protectively. I didn't mind though.

"No, just Kurt. He wants to know what time tonight." I said sadly. I didn't want to break it to him, especially after this.

"I don't want you to have to face a moment like this. Especially 'cause it's not your fault. I'll tell him something came up." he walked out the door and I resorted to sobbing my pillow. I liked it. I wanted it. This was so wrong. Just hearing him talking on the phone to Burt hurt me. I could tell our relationship with the Hummels would be on the rocks.

My phone buzzed a second time.

**We need 2 talk. 4 real. I'm sorry.**

**I know.**

I can't believe I typed back, but deep inside I didn't regret.

**R u mad?**

I wasn't, but I couldn't tell him that. Not before I talked to Kurt.

**I'm sorry...I can't do this.**

**Okay. I understand. I didn't mean to hurt you though.**

I could tell he really meant those words. The spelling was impeccable for Noah. For anyone.

**I get it. We will talk...eventually**.

I hoped he didn't take those words the wrong way.

**Ok. I am sorry for upsetting you.**

I just cried harder. I remembered the feeling of his lips on mine and I felt fireworks. The way his hands felt, gently placing my wrists to the wall. I had to talk to Kurt.

"Will?" I called, not really wanting to get up.

"Yeah?" he said walking into the room.

"I can handle dinner. Would you tell them it's okay?" I hoped it wasn't too late.

"You're sure?" he got ready to grab a phone. I nodded.

I was going to break it off with Kurt. I just hoped he'd understand and want to stay friends.

Puck was going to get what he wanted.

* * *

><p><strong>Okay so I've gotten a couple suggestions about writing in some life-threatening events-HELP? If you have suggestions, PLEASE message me! It would REALLY help me out! Thanks and thanks for reading! I love you! Keep Reviewing!<strong>


	12. Changes

Will called them back and although I could tell Burt wasn't that pleased, I knew they'd be back. When dinner time rolled around, I was right.

"Nicole. Is something wrong? What happened earlier?" he came rushing into my arms after Will opened the door.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'll talk to you about it later, okay?" he nodded, hugging me. This was going to be harder than I thought.

"Hello, Burt. Nice to see you again." I said, shaking the older man's hand.

"Hey, Burt. Come on in, make yourself at home. You can watch some sports or whatever." Burt moved past Will and sat on the couch.

"Did you think of a song for the assembly?" Kurt asked as we moved to my room. Burt watched us carefully, but I knew he was just trying to keep his son safe.

"It hasn't really come to me, no." I said, slumping down on the edge of my bed.

"I'm sorry. You'll think of something." he sat down next to me and rubbed my back.

I couldn't live with this anymore. I didn't want to. I had to tell him, but...I couldn't find the words.

"We're gonna need to talk and I know-" I was cut off by another knock at the door. No. Not right now. Will shot me a look through my open door.

"What is it?" Kurt asked right before Puck stormed in.

"Oh, good we need to talk. Hey, Kurt." he walked into my room.

"What the hell is he doing here for?" Kurt snapped.

"I needed to talk to Nicole about earlier." Puck said, trying to ignore Kurt as much as possible.

"What happened earlier?" Kurt demanded to know.

"I may have kissed her but-" Kurt stood up and punched Puck in the jaw, who only tried to punch back before I stood in front. He didn't have enough time to stop. He hit the tip of my cheekbone considering the height difference he initially aimed for.

"Oh my God. I am so sorry!" he knelt beside me.

"What the hell is going on in here?" Will stormed in.

"What did you do? Get out! Get out, now!" Will grabbed Puck but I stood up and stopped him.

"No, Will. We can't keep tossing our problems out the door, hoping they won't come back." I said that in a harsh tone, but he let Puck go.

"Can someone explain what kind of hell is breaking loose in here?" Kurt was fuming.

"Dude, chill. We can all sit down and talk about this." Puck said. Kurt was still angry, but flopped on the edge of the bed. I sat on the floor while Noah grabbed a chair.

"Kurt, I love you so much, but...I think we both know it's not meant to be. I mean, were best friends for sure, but the only reason we resorted to calling it love, true love, was because we were harassed, lonely, and single. Doesn't that make sense to you?" I was calmer, less aggressive. I just wanted him to understand.

"I-I...I guess you're right. I mean we don't really check up on each other that often and I don't think about you all the time...so I guess this is...it?" his voice was small, scared.

"I guess so." I started to rub around my eye again. It was pretty sore. I was lucky he got more of my cheekbone than my actual eye.

"Hey, I'm sorry about that. Are you okay?" Puck placed a hand on my shoulder and it felt like electrical currents surfing through my body.

"Uh, yeah. I'll be good. And your jaw?" I looked up at him.

"I'm fine. Look Kurt, I'm sorry about all this. Are we cool?" he asked holding out his hand.

"You didn't hurt her...earlier, did you?" Puck looked at me, then shook his head. "Then yeah, we're good." Kurt shook his hand.

"Hey if all the drama's through with in there, dinner's ready. Puck, if they didn't kill you, you're welcome to stay." Will called, still in the kitchen.

"So, who's hungry?" I asked, standing up. They both stood after me and followed me to the kitchen were Will was making plates.

"Oh, look he's still alive. Enjoy." Will was a bit sarcastic as he handed Puck a plate. I guess he didn't like the idea of me dating a "bad boy", but he didn't know Noah like I did. He knew Puck, but he didn't know Noah.

"Thanks." he smiled.

After everyone had their meals, I walked to talk to Will. I felt bad that I kind of snapped on him.

"Will? C-Can I talk to you?" I asked, the guilt suffocating me.

"Yeah, sure. Let me just finish cleaning up." I took everyone's dishes and helped Will clean the rest of everything up.

"Thanks." he said wiping his hands. "So, what do you want to talk about?" I took his hand and led him to sit on my bed.

"Listen...umm. I'm really sorry I yelled at you earlier. I had no right to do that. T-There was just so much going on and-and, I don't know. I-I'm sorry." I started bawling into him. I didn't mean to, but I couldn't really control it.

"Shh...it's okay, baby. You were right. I mean nothing would've been solved with me throwing Puck out the door again. I'm sorry." he always understood. He was a really good dad.

"Will?" he looked down at me, my arms still wrapped around his midsection. "You're a really good dad. And I don't mean just because I've never really had one. I know you're a really good dad because you're a wonderful teacher and a near-perfect person. Thank you." I sniffled, burying my head into him once more. He hugged me tighter, I guess to show he was thankful, but didn't know how to say it.

"I love you, Will." I said trying to rid my tears.

"I love you, too, Nicole." he kissed my head and held me for a moment longer, then I tensed in his arms as I realized Puck had been standing in the doorway, watching the whole exchange. Will looked up and saw him too and awkwardly smiled before letting me go and leaving me alone with him again.

"Hey." I smiled as he came to take Will's place.

"Are you okay"? he asked.

"Yeah. I was just apologizing to Will for snapping earlier." I explained.

"That's good, but I mean...this." he lightly brushed my cheekbone with his fingertips. It sent chills throughout my entire body. He smiled at the reaction.

"I-I think I-I'll umm...be good." I was babbling like an idiot. He laughed. I'd never heard his laugh before,but now that I had, I couldn't help but smile at the sound of it.

"Uh, maybe we should hold off until the Hummels leave...I don't want to make them feel awkward." I said as he ran his fingers through mine and then ran them across my face and through my hair.

He smiled and stood up, offering me a hand although it was no physical strain at all. I took it happily, though.

"Now, Noah. This is gonna be really hard for Kurt, so I'm gonna do my best to comfort him. Just, try not to assume the worst, okay?" I said before we walked out. He leaned in next to my ear, his breath cool on my neck.

"Never" he whispered. It completely took my breath away and I think he knew that it would, letting his mouth linger around my neck a second longer.

He walked out first and I stayed in my room for another minute or two. I was just thankful I didn't have kiss-swollen lips.

I walked out and sat next to Kurt who was next to his father.

"Hey" I said, trying to be cheeful.

"Hey." he whispered. I set a hand above his knee. He shuddered at the touch.

"I'm sorry" I whispered.

"Me too. I just wish we realized it sooner." his voice was still small. It seemed so broken. Burt looked over at us and saw the tension.

"I think it's time we head out now. Thank you for everything, Mr. Schuester. It was a really nice night." Burt announced as he got up.

Kurt stood at the same time I did.

"Well, I guess this is goodbye." I said, staring into his eyes.

"Yeah, I, uh..guess so." he said. Before he could move around me, I threw my arms around him in a hug. He wasn't shy about hugging back.

Burt went around the other side of the couch and shook Will's hand. Kurt reluctantly let go and shook Will's hand as well.

"Thanks again." Burt called to us as Will opened the door and thanked them for coming. Kurt and I shared one last longing glance before I let out a sigh of relief, sinking to the couch.

"Nicole, I don't know if you plan on going out tomorrow or anything, but if you could, we are out of some milk. You can take my car or Puck could take you." Will said inspecting the fridge.

"I can take her now." Noah said. I smiled.

"Alright, here Nicole. Take this." Will handed me some money, although he was wary about Noah taking care of me.

I hugged Will goodbye and he kissed my head.

"I love you." I said as he finally released me from his grip.

"I love you, too." he said, kissing my cheek this time. I winced a bit, considering it was the place where I was punched, but I didn't mind. Noah put his arm on my waist and we walked out together and got into his car.

"Gosh, what time is it?" I looked how dark and rainy it was.

"10:30." he checked his watch.

"Wow, I guess Will didn't know either. I can't believe he's letting me out this late." I stared in front of me at the dark, wet road ahead and squinted when the headlights rushed by.

"You're really beautiful you, you know that? And I know what song you should sing." he was staring at me and I stared at him. Then it hit me. Hit us. Literally.

The car flipped over, rolling across the street, until finally landing upside down. I could barely open eyes and I stared at Noah, who was beaten, battered, and certainly bloody. I just hoped it was my blood as opposed to his.

"Def...defying...gra-g-gravity." he coughed out as he reached a shaky hand towards me. I did the same and held on tight. I could barely make out the words "I'm sorry" cross his lips.

Our eyes slowly closed, unaware of the future. But we knew one thing:

There would be changes.

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks so much for reading! If you have any suggestions, either review or send me a message (idc if it's anonymous)! PLEASE REVIEW!<strong>

**Much love, Nicole xoxo**


	13. Loss in Love

I woke up confused. My head was pounding and there were scratches and bruises covering my arms. I looked to my side to see a sleeping Will next to me. He looked exhausted. I had no idea what time it was or how many days had passed. And what about Noah? Was he okay? I didn't want to wake Will, but I needed to feel him. I reached out and brushed his cheek and then squeezed his hand. To my dismay, his eyes fluttered and he realized what was going on.

"Oh, God! You're okay!" he took me into a tight hug, practically squeezing the life out of me. He cried into my shoulder and hair and I just patted his back and took in his smell. After a minute or two I finally got up the courage to speak.

"W-What about N-Noah?" I asked as he released me. The look on his face was rough. Sad. I swallowed hard, figuring I needed to be worried.

"He...he umm...Puck's in a coma." The breath hitched in my chest. I shook my head, wanting this to be a nightmare. I wanted to wake up. Will took me in his arms as I fought to get up. I needed to see him.

"Please. I need to see him, Will." I pleaded into his shoulder. He pulled back and stared at my face. After a minute of mental deliberation, he stood up.

"I'll go talk to the nurse." he said, stepping out of the room. I let out a sigh or relief. I needed to see Noah again. My mind drifted. I wonder if Kurt knew. Or the Glee club. Was Kurt too angry to come see me? Us? Did he not care anymore? I couldn't let myself think of these things too much. I watched as Will came back into the room with a nurse. She unhooked me properly from the machines and they left me to get dressed. Will was thoughtful enough to bring me a dress so I didn't have to wear bloodied clothing. Sure, it would've been washed, but I didn't need the constant reminder.

I walked out slowly, to find Will waiting at the door. He helped me walk for the fact I was very unsteady on my feet. It was only now I could see the bruises covering my legs. He walked in first and guided me with his hand. I inhaled a sharp breath, seeing the man I was falling in love with, lying there, pretty much lifeless. No smile playing on his face, no seductive laugh pulling me in every time it was emitted from his muscular body.

I cowarded and turned toward Will, covering my mouth, as I let out a small squeak of sadness leave my lips. Will held my shoulders and I took deep breaths, remembering what I just saw. He didn't look super bad, not at all, but I didn't like seeing what I did to him. Something that might become permanent.

I walked slowly to sit next to him and took his slightly warmed hand. I squeezed it pressing it to my lips. I cried, silently sobbing to myself.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." I shuddered. I stood up slightly to kiss his face then sat back down, never letting go of his hand. I held it to my face, intertwining our fingers. "Not you..." I whispered, kissing his hand again, then looking at his face, taking in the scratches and slight bruises.

"I'm so sorry." I whispered in my broken voice. Will pulled up a chair next to me and rubbed my back. I cried into Will, but I refused to let go of Noah's hand. I was holding on until he woke up. He _would_ wake up.

"I'm gonna leave you alone for a little, if that's okay. I'm gonna head home, get some things done. Is that alright with you?" Will asked. I nodded my eyes still tear filled as I stared at Noah.

"I love you." he kissed the top of my head.

"I love you, too...Dad." he turned around for a minute to smile before heading out the door to leave me alone with my Noah. My beloved Noah.

"Noah...please. Wake up. I-I'm sorry...I love you, Noah." I was surprised at my words, but I meant them. I loved him. I stood up again and kissed his lips softly. My whole mouth tingled afterwards. I continued to hold his hand and rested my head on his arms and closed my eyes. I could hear his heart beating. It sounded so _alive_. I only cried more, coming to terms with the fact my newly acclaimed boyfriend may not be waking up at all. And it was all my fault. I'd sing at the assembly, unless it passed, and would dedicate a song to him if I could. And of course I'd sing "Defying Gravity" like he suggested. How did he even come up with such a brilliant choice?

I pulled out my phone for the date and time: Thursday. It figured. It was about 6PM now, so I assume Will would be back soon to take me home. I was going to go home so I could practice for Noah.

What seemed like minutes later, I was shaken awake by Will.

"Mm, what time is it?" I asked groggily.

"It's 10. I figured you'd want to perform at the assembly tomorrow." he explained. I rubbed my eyes with the hand I had and he couldn't help but laugh."You want me to carry you?" he asked, still chuckling.

"Yeah, in a minute." I said, looking back at Noah. He nodded, stepping out to give me some privacy.

"Noah. I have to go, to get some rest so I can perform for you tomorrow, remember? Defying Gravity. So, I gotta go now, but umm...I love you, okay? Goodbye." I kissed his cheek slightly and hesitated, then kissed his lips once more, running my fingers through his mohawk. I waited, to watch the smile play on his face, but I was just shot down with dissapointed.

I walked out the door and Will picked me up and carried me like a baby.

"Do you know what your singing tomorrow?" Will asked.

"Defying Gravity." I mumbled, feeling sleepy again. "Noah picked it."He stopped for a minute and I assumed he looked at me, but I was too tired to open my eyes.

Instead, I just closed my eyes and fell asleep in his arms.

When I woke up the next morning, I felt exhausted and sore. But I had to go to school for Noah. Will was making breakfast as usual, but this time we sat in silence.

After I finished eating, I finally broke our ongoing silence.

"What time is the assembly?" I asked, starting to clean up the table.

"After Glee, so I'm gonna let you guys rehearse during Glee." he said looking up at me. I just nodded.

"Are you gonna be okay? You don't have to go. I could drop you off at the hospital if you want." he offered.

"No. I have to do this." I went to get changed and was completely ready fairly quickly. I wore a dress I had feeling Noah would like. I made sure my hair was perfect before walking out to the living room where Will handed me a piece of paper. It was the music for "Defying Gravity" which I guess he arranged and typed up the night before. Is that what he meant by 'getting things done'?

"Can we go to the school a bit early, so I can practice a bit before Glee?" my eyes were like a puppy's, so of course he said yes.

After practicing for a while, I went to all of my morning classes and eventually Glee. It was weird not walking there with Kurt, though.

"Where's Puck?" asked Kurt a bit loudly and bitterly. Will heard and walked to the center of the room to take his spot as teacher.

"There's been an accident. Both Puck and Nicole were in a car accident together and now he is actually in a coma." Mr. Schue announced before his phone rang. While he took his call, the rest of the group gasped and tried to comfort and talk to me.

"Nicole, take over." I did as he said and gave them each music.

We rehearsed and it actually sounded good, but I refused to hit the high note. I said it was going to have to wait until the assembly, for Noah. They didn't particulary like that, but went along with it. At the end of the period, we reported to the stage in the gymnasium while the students began to flood in. It must've taken 20 minutes to get everyone in and situated. But Will wasn't there. Now thinking about it, he never finsihed that phone call. I tried to shake the feeling, to remember the matter at hand.

"Children, today we have a special assembly entitled "Dare 2 B Different". Now, will you welcome the Glee club to perform a number for you." announced Figgins, giving me the student body's full attention.

"Thank you. I would like to dedicate this number to someone who means a lot to me, to this club and needs your prayers right now. This is for you Noah." The song started and I took a breath, vowing to make it the most incredible performance I had ever given.

**Something has changed within me **  
><strong>Something is not the same <strong>  
><strong>I'm through with playing by the rules <strong>  
><strong>Of someone else's game <strong>

The kids weren't familiar with the song, but didn't knock it yet. Someone opened the door to the gym and came in, but I couldn't tell who it was. I just hoped it was Will. He would want to see this**. **

**Too late for second-guessing  
>Too late to go back to sleep<br>It's time to trust my instincts  
>Close my eyes... and leap!<br>**

The doors opened a couple times and I hoped that the kids weren't just leaving to get out of it.

**It's time to try  
>Defying gravity<br>I think I'll try  
>Defying gravity<br>Kiss me goodbye  
>I am defying gravity<br>And you wont bring me down!**

**I'm through accepting limits  
>'cause someone says they're so<br>Some things I cannot change  
>But till I try, I'll never know!<br>Too long I've been afraid of  
>Losing love I guess I've lost<br>Well, if that's love  
>It comes at much too high a cost!<br>**

The kids cheered as if that was the highest note I was going to hit. They were sure in for a surprise.

**I'd sooner buy**  
><strong>Defying gravity<strong>  
><strong>Kiss me goodbye<strong>  
><strong>I'm defying gravity<strong>  
><strong>I think I'll try<strong>  
><strong>Defying gravity<strong>  
><strong>And you wont bring me down!<strong>

The Glee club joined in for the last the verse and it was beautiful.

**I'd sooner buy **  
><strong>Defying gravity <strong>  
><strong>Kiss me goodbye <strong>  
><strong>I'm defying gravity <strong>  
><strong>I think I'll try <strong>  
><strong>Defying gravity <strong>

Suddenly, right before my note, someone stood in the middle of the gym, across from the stage. Someone got the spotlight on him and I almost dropped to my knees.

**And you won't bring me down! **  
><strong>bring me down! <strong>  
><strong>ohh ohhh ohhhh!<strong>

I held out the note for what seemed like ages and the crowd erupted into cheers. Finally, I ended it and everyone stood, clapping like no tomorrow. I jumped off and the stage and ran into the man's arms.

"I love you, Noah." I cried into his chest. He held me tightly.

"Welcome back Noah Puckerman!" announced Principal Figgins sounding just as starstruck as I felt.

"When did you wake up...how?" I was speechless.

"I don't know. It just happened and the nurses started freaking and then got Mr. Schue on the phone and he picked me up and brought me here. Was I really out that long?" he asked looking around at the assembly.

"Did you hear anything I said when I was talking to you at the hospital?" I asked, hopeful.

"I think my brain did because it made me wake up in time for this and it keeps telling me to tell you something." My eyes locked with his.

"What was it?" I asked quietly.

"I love you." he said staring into my eyes for a moment, then leaning down to kiss me.

It was only then I realized we were in the middle of the assembly and it all grew silent.

Will stood and started applauding, and each of the Glee club members started down the stage to clap as well after they came to terms with the whole change of relationship, starting with Kurt Hummel.

"I guess there doesn't have to be loss in love after all." I smiled, looking up at him.

"You got that right." I couldn't help but laugh, causing him to laugh. I ran my fingers through his mohawk and a smile played on his lips, just as I had imagined.

Afterwards, we headed back to the choir room and celebrated Noah's health as we did pretty much the whole day as he continued to hug me next to his body.

Will drove us home afterwards where we cuddled into each other's arms in the back seat. "I love you, Nicole." he whispered, lips just faintly touching the skin on my neck.

"I love you, too Noah." I said kissing his cheek. He gave me one last kiss before nuzzling into my neck.

"You know, you're the only one who calls me Noah. I like it." he said smiling against my skin.

"Let's keep it that way."

And with that, we fell asleep together, love perfectly intact.

I didn't lose in this love. I actually gained everything I ever wanted.

And I wouldn't have it any other way if I could.


	14. Not Done

Once we were home, Will shook us awake. Based on the time, I guess he kind of just waited;gave us a little more time.

"Sorry, guys. I just don't know what we're doing...ya know..." Will was talking about Noah. I didn't want him to leave, but I knew he had a family. Sure, it was kind of screwed up, but it was still a family.

"I could stay the night...that is if you don't mind Mr. Schue." Noah suggested, but Will didn't look so sure of the idea.

"I'll keep him in line, Will. Believe me, Noah won't try anything." I playfully punched him in the arm. Will looked at us for another minute or so before finally taking a deep breath.

"I guess...if it's okay with your family, that uh...you can stay the night. Just don't think you can get away with anything. The second you screw up, you'll be out." Will sounded so stern, but he was an understanding guy.

I hugged Noah's neck and then Will's, thanking him for his decision. Walking up to the apartment, he dialed his mother who was just happy to get a break from him.

"Thanks again, Will." I smiled as he unlocked the door. He just shook his head, smiling just a little, hoping he didn't regret it. Once we were in, we headed to my room and he actually looked around while I sat on the bed.

"It's cute. But what's all this?" he picked up the folders overflowing with music. This felt all too similar. I was just replaying the scene with a different boy.

"Just some stuff..." I said, trying not to remember. He looked at me.

"Was this something...that uh...?" I just nodded, not making eye contact anymore. I missed Kurt, but more as a friend. I was just sad I hurt him so badly. Puck came over and sat next to me.

"Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..." he hugged me to his chest and kissed my head. He really wasn't going to just try and hook up with me. He was serious.

"It's okay. It's nothing really. I didn't mean to get all emotional like that. So, how are you feeling? I mean, you just came out of a 5 day coma. That's gotta be tough." I just wanted to forget about all that happened and start fresh.

"I'm a bit sore, but that's about it. I just wish I didn't miss so much. I mean, as weird as it sounds, I feel like I've already kissed you before I did during the assembly." I blushed slightly at that.

"I may know why..." he stared at me, a slight smirk crawling onto his face.

"You gotta tell." A full-out, no stops smirk had swallowed his face. I smiled and looked down, feeling a little embarassed, but I didn't regret my actions.

"Well, when you were in the hospital...I-I was afraid I wouldn't see you again so I, I...I kissed you, not once, but twice." I covered my face with my hands like a 2 year old.

"That's really...adorable. Thanks." his reaction took me by surprise, but I wasn't going to complain. "But how about we have a real first kiss. The way it should've been." I looked into his dark, alluring eyes. I placed my hand on his cheek and he leaned in slowly...romanticly. I had to say it was the most beautiful kiss I've ever had. I ran my hand through his mohawk with the hand that had once cupped his cheek. He deepened the kiss slightly, before I pulled away.

"Sorry, I just don't want to rush things or get you kicked out before we've been here for at least an hour." I joked. He pecked my lips before pulling me into a tight hug.

"I agree. I'm not gonna screw this up. You mean too much to me." Those words seemed like a dream as they passed his lips.

"I love you, Noah." I said giving him a tiny kiss on his neck while his head rested atop mine.

"I love you, too Nicole. And I'm not letting you go. Ever." I had never seen this side of him before. I mean, I knew he could be sweet and nice, but I never imagined he'd be the true love kind of guy. I just knew I was happy he was.

"So, what do you want to do?" I asked after a long moment of him holding me.

"Do you have a piano?" We finally made eye contact. My eyes answered his question and he stood, smiling.

"What did you have in mind?" I was a bit wary, but I learned to be more confident in my own talent.

"I wanted to play something for you...well, actually sing. I mean, the song doesn't completely apply now, but it did before. I sang this in my room all the time when you left. I was up bawling half those nights. My mom thought I was going crazy. She didn't even believe you existed. But anyway, I want you to hear it." he smiled and pulled me towards the piano and walked toward Will. He whispered something in his ear and he nodded, following Noah back to the piano.

"Okay." he nodded to Will, who began playing.

**Buried way beneath the sheets I think she's having a meltdown**  
><strong>Finding it hard to fall asleep she won't let anyone help her<strong>  
><strong>The look on her face a waste of time she won't let go gonna roll the dice<strong>  
><strong>Loosing her grace starts to cry I feel her pain when I look in her eyes<strong>  
><strong>I want ta be I want everything, I want everything<strong>

**Somewhere she is on the streets trying to make things better  
>Praying to God and breathing deep gotta break this long obsession<br>The look on her face a waste of time she won't let go gonna roll the dice  
>Loosing her grace starts to cry I feel her pain when I look in her eyes<br>I want ta be I want everything, I want everything**

There was a small instrumental break, and then he sang again.

**If I had everything would I still want to be alive or want to be high  
>If I had everything would I still want to be alive or want to be high <strong>

**Now and then she talks to me and sometimes writes me letters**

**Loosing her grace starts to cry I feel her pain when I look in her eyes  
>I want ta be I want everything, I want everything<strong>

**Your eyes, never close your eyes open up your mind and you can have everything  
>Your eyes, never close your eyes open up your mind and you can have everything<strong>

His words had pierced my soul and burned right through my heart.

"I know it's short and I usually play it on my guitar, but-" I hugged him tightly and he welcomed the embrace.

"Thank you, Noah. That was...just beautiful." I finally looked up to see his dark eyes smile and he kissed me slowly. Afterwards, I embraced him once more, seeing Will smile over his shoulder.

"Thanks, Mr. Schue." Noah turned to see him, too. He just nodded and I leaned in close to his ear.

"Call him _Will_." I smiled against his neck as I whispered the words. I had to admit, I did sound a bit seductive, but I just felt power seeing Noah go crazy. Will laughed as I teased him and we eventually retreated back to my room. We talked about school and Glee club and ideas for Nationals, and pretty much everything. When bedtime came, I was a bit upset. I didn't want him to have to leave after tonight. While he laid on my bed, I went to talk to Will.

"Um, Will?" my voice was small again.

"Yeah? What is it?" he patted the space on the couch next to him. I sat down, fidgeting with my clothes, hair, and hands. He touched my shoulder and I turned to face him.

"Would it be...can Noah...I...ummm." I just couldn't ask. I wasn't sure why it was so hard.

"Can I stay the weekend?" Noah asked in the doorway. I smiled as he walked and took a seat next to me. I could tell Will still wasn't very fond of him, but it wasn't a hatred, which I considered progress. Will stared for a moment, shifting his glance from each of our faces. Noah's grip on my waist tightened slightly and I stared at him, begging he'd convince Will it was okay.

"Please, Mr. Schuester. I love her." Will looked at me in disbelief, then finally swallowed and opened his mouth to speak.

"Oka-" Before he could even get the whole word out, I strangled him in a hug.

"I've gotta stop saying yes." he laughed, hugging me back. I could hear Noah laughing and it sounded so playful. It was so innocent so...happy. Yeah. It was happy.

I turned to see his face as bright as I'd ever seen it. He was the next to get tackled. He stood up and I jumped into his arms. Unlike Kurt, he didn't fall over, rather spun me around. I laughed uncontrollably, causing him to laugh too. I could just faintly make out Will smiling. After a moment, when vertigo settled in, Noah set me down and helped me regain my balance.

"Thank you, Will." I went to hug him, but he moved away slightly. "Relax. It'll be a normal person hug." I laughed. He was cautious still, but that didn't stop me from wrapping my arms around his torso and pulling him in tight.

"Thank you." I whispered, all laughing aside.

"Your welcome." He also said seriously, kissing my cheek as I pulled away.

Noah and I headed back to my room and we chilled for most of the night. It was about 11 and I knew Will would also be heading for bed. I allowed Noah to lay on the bed and just as I was readying myself to crawl next to him and sleep on his chest, Will walked in.

"You didn't let me finish." he had a blanket and pillow in hand. This couldn't be good. "Puck, he sleeps on the floor." Will spoke to me, dropping the blanket and pillow before walking out.

"So much for that." Noah huffed rearranging his new bed on the floor.

"You give up much too easily, Noah Puckerman." I laughed. A smile grew on his face and I knew he wanted to hear what I had in mind. I grabbed my blanket and pillow and slipped off the bed.

"Technically he said that you had to sleep on the floor, but he said nothing about me. I don't mean to defy him, but I love you. Move over." he smiled as I cuddled with him and he wrapped his arms around me. He turned his face to look at me and for the first time, I made the first move by leaning in to take his mouth.

He smiled against my lips, causing me to smile and we both pulled back.

"Sweet dreams, love." he smiled, kissing my cheek.

"You too, Noah. You too." I closed my eyes and drifted off, only to be awakened. I left my phone on the floor next to me, but felt it vibrating. I groggily picked it up. It was 4AM and it was...Kurt calling? What did he want at this hour? I figured it had to be important considering he "slept in" on the weekend and I answered.

"Hello?" I grunted, still trying to make some reality out of this.

"Oh, God. Nicole. I-I...it's...it's an emergency." Kurt was bawling his eyes out, choking on tears.

An _emergency_ and he called _me._ He called _me_.

_We're not done..._


	15. Pieces

Realizing all that was happening, I untangled myself from Noah's arms and ran to Will's bedroom. As much as I wanted to just be able to sit there and watch Noah sleep and dream, I just couldn't. Not tonight anyway.

"Will. Will. You got to get up. It's an emergency." I shook him, trying not to yell too loudly so I didn't wake up Noah. "What? What? Are you alright?" he sat up in a panic, visibly searching for anything out of the ordinary. He automatically grabbed my shoulders, then held my cheek, trying to find the problem. Of course he would assume Noah attacked me. Or _Puck_ in his head. Well, I couldn't complain about him caring.

"I'm fine, I'm fine. It's Kurt. He says it's an emergency. We need to get there right away. Please." I was pleading, tugging his arm. I wasn't just pleading to get my way this time. I was serious and I think he knew that. The look in his eyes changed, just slightly. He wasn't as pained or in panic mode when he thought I was in danger or hurt, but he still cared enough when it came to Kurt to be concerned.

"Okay, okay. Uh, what about Puck?" he asked, going to grab a sweatshirt. I wanted to correct him. I wanted to say that it was Noah, but there was no sense now. It just wasn't the time and honestly, at 4 AM he probably _really_ didn't want to hear it.

"I guess I'll wake him." I headed into the bedroom and gently shook him. "Noah. Noah, you gotta wake up. It's an emergency. Kurt needs us." he tossed slightly, then opened his eyes. He smiled, seeing me just looming over him. I found it a bit creepy, but it was Noah. He did still have some Puck left in him.

"Kurt? What's his problem?" he asked, sounding a bit annoyed I woke him up for someone other than me or Will. I guess I should've felt flattered by that.

"I don't know. But we gotta go." I grabbed his arm and attempted to pull him to his feet, but when I failed, he laughed getting himself up. I was a bit angry he actually had the nerve to laugh when we were all freaking out, but then again, he was probably still in a daze.

We headed to the car and drove to Kurt's house only to find an ambulance there and Kurt sobbing on the lawn. As soon as Will stopped the car, and maybe a little before that, I hopped out and ran towards Kurt.

"What happened? What's going on?" I asked, holding his shoulders.

"My d-dad...he...he just..." he sobbed into my shoulder and I held him tight as Noah and Will walked towards us. I shivered, forgetting to grab a sweatshirt.

"It-It was a heart attack." Kurt pulled away to stare into my eyes.

"Oh, Kurt. I-I am so sorry, I-" I didn't know what to say. I just pulled him in for another hug until Will led us to the car and we followed the ambulance to the hospital.

Noah sat in the passenger seat while I sat with Kurt in the back. I let him sob into my lap while I patted his back soothingly. I had tears in my eyes at this point, especially because I never made amends with Burt. I stared out the window, remembering the time I had with him and how I wasted it. Noah watched me from the front seat as I reminisced and let a few tears slip out. I knew Will would also be watching from the mirror. I tried to compose myself as we arrived and I practically carried Kurt inside.

We were told to sit in the waiting room while they did what they could and checked him out. Kurt had stop crying and it was almost as if he stopped...feeling. He looked competely shut off from the world. It was like he shut down everything. It hurt to watch, especially when Noah couldn't help but play with my hair and kiss my cheek or hand every few minutes.

"I'm sorry, will you stop it? It's not really the time." I said in an aggrivated tone.

"I'm just trying to be comforting. I saw you crying in the car. I mean, God, sorry for trying to make you feel better." Noah snapped. No, this wasn't Noah. This was badass Puck.

"Look, I don't want to start anything, okay? I'm sorry." I tried to calm him down and I touched his hand. He instantly pulled it away.

"You know what? I'm out. Sorry, Kurt." he stormed out the doors, leaving the rest of the waiting room to stare at me. I dropped my head in my hands, doing my best not to cry. Kurt needed us more than ever and I wasn't going to take that away from him. I wanted to ask Will so bad to hold me, but it wouldn't be fair.

"Hummel?" read the nurse who walked into the room. Kurt seemed to be made of springs as he jolted to his feet. He looked back at us and we nodded, letting him go ahead first. He needed the alone time. The second he left the room, Will took me in a tight embrace.

"I'm so sorry. All this must be killing you." he said into my ear.

"Yeah, it is. But I mean, I'm not gonna take the attention away from Kurt. He needs it." I said, sniffling just a bit.

"You're a good kid, you know that? I can't believe he just walked out like that." I could tell Will was being nice as he hinted at 'I told you so', but he was still wrong about Noah. He had Puck dead on, though.

"Listen. That was Puck showing, not Noah. I know sometimes it can be hard to tell the difference, but he really is a good guy. I kind of started it. I mean his intentions were all pure and we're all really stressed right now, that's all. Don't be mad at him." I pulled back to look in his eyes. I knew he didn't want to, but he nodded.

"I'm just sad he left you when things are so intense." he played with my hair and kissed my head. I sat back in my chair until the nurse came out and said we could also see Burt. I took Will's hand as we walked down the long hallway and stopped at the open door. I took a deep breath before walking in to see Kurt bawling his eyes out next to his uconsious father. I gasped, finding it much harder to contain myself.

Will placed his hand on my back and guided me next to Kurt. I dropped in the chair, no sure what I should do.

"H-how is..." I couldn't say anymore. The tears just flowed out of me and I sobbed into Kurt.

"He-he's gonna...he's gonna be...okay...they t-think." Kurt inhaled sharp breaths trying to get it out.

"Kurt, I'm really sorry about all of this." Will rubbed his back. He wasn't just good with me, he was good with _every_ kid. He had the perfect job for himself.

"Th-Thanks, Mr.-, uh Will. Thanks, Will." I smiled. I was happy he still felt he was allowed to call him Will even if we weren't a couple anymore. It meant he still cared.

Will nodded and continued rubbing my back.

"You guys...you don't have to stay. If he wakes, I'll tell him how good you both were to me. Really, you can go." Kurt said wiping at his eyes.

"No. I'm gonna stay as long as you need us." I said, wiping one of the lasts tears from his face. He smiled.

"Thanks." he laughed slightly, then turned back to his father. I didn't lie to him. We did stay until Sunday night, but then I started to worry. His father hadn't awoken and I really couldn't miss any more days of school. Kurt knew that. And the Glee kids would suffer if we couldn't practice for Nationals or at least design a set list. I couldn't believe I was being so selfish about this.

He had been staring at me for the longest time as I held Burt's hand, just apologizing for myself.

"God, you have no self assurance or confidence." Kurt said bluntly. I stared up at him, my eyes a bit shocked.

"W-What?" I asked, not really sure what to do in the position I was in. I was lucky Will was there, rubbing my back this time. He'd protect me if things got ugly.

"You're sitting here apologizing for nothing to an unconsious man. Think about it. Plus, you know you need to go. I mean you've missed enough school and now you're willing to for someone else's problems?" I stared at him in shock.

"Go." he said, laughing a little bit.

"Kurt, are you sure?" My voice sounded so compassionate.

"Yes. You can't miss much more school. Go. And Will, you need to get us prepared for Nationals. Thanks for staying guys. I'll keep you updated." he stood up and hugged me tightly, then Will.

"Goodbye." I whispered with a small wave as we walked out the door. Will held my shoulders walking me to the car and we drove home in silence. I didn't speak until I got home. I sank down on the couch and Will followed, so I rested my head on his shoulder.

"You feel pretty bad, huh?" Will asked, hand around my shoulders as we stared in front of us.

"Yeah. I just feel so selfish. I mean looking at him in that bed and seeing Kurt hurt, yes, that hurt me, but really, all I could think about was Noah. I mean I screwed up with him. Everything's just so tense right now."

"That's not being selfish. That's called love. Did you try to talk to him since then? I finally looked up at Will, shaking my head. He was a genius. I took out my phone and dialed, only to hear his voicemail. I let my head fall back on Will's shoulder, wrapping an arm around him before fully hugging him.

"I'm sorry. But you'll see him tomorrow, well, hopefully. Right now, you need to get some rest. Too much stress for one weekend." I nodded as I stood and leaned down to hug him once more.

"Thanks, Will." I kissed his cheek.

"I'll be in to say goodnight in a minute." I nodded as I went to go change into a tank top and sweats, then crawled into bed. Will was in moments later.

"Goodnight, Sweetheart. Get some rest. You need it." he leaned down and kiss my forehead. I slung my arms around his neck and leaned slightly forward to hug him again. I found so much comfort in the man. Plus we missed a lot of time together. He took it happily, holding me tightly.

"I love you." he said, putting me back down.

"I love you, too. And don't forget that you need rest too." he chuckled.

"I won't." he whispered before walking out and closing the door. I sighed, closing my eyes for some sleep.

_God damnit. Everything's in pieces. _I thought before drifting off.


	16. Sorry's The Hardest Word

I opened my eyes to the sound of my alarm blaring signalling another day of school. I didn't want to go, but I did want to see Noah. I needed to talk with him. I walked out to see Will eating some cereal, waving as he saw me enter the room. I laughed as he swallowed quickly so he could properly greet me.

"Good morning." he said, almost choking on the last bit of cereal.

"Don't kill yourself. Good morning." I laughed, taking a seat and pouring myself a bowl.

"Did you talk to Puck at all. I mean did he call or text you?" I chewed and swallowed slowly, not really wanting to talk about it.

"No." I whispered, stirring my cereal mindlessly.

"I'm sorry. I just don't know what to do about him." I could tell he truly was sorry and nodded, continuing to eat.

"So, what are you thinking about Nationals? I mean, do you have any ideas?" I tried to make it less awkward by changing the subject.

"Not really to be honest. I've decided to honestly open it to the group and let them supply our ideas." I was a bit surprised, but considering all that's happened, I felt less shocked. I nodded and finished eating before finally getting showered and dressed.

"You ready?" he asked after about 20 minutes.

"Yeah." I grabbed my bag and we drove off to school, another awkwardly silent ride. The only thing on both of our minds was Noah.

I walked into school hoping to find him. We needed to talk, as much as I didn't want to. I searched the halls, even going out of my way to look for him, but came up short. Well, I guess I was _bit_ early. I pushed through the day, learning not really being my first priority. Not that it had been the entire year. My stress made that impossible.

I walked into Glee Club hoping to find him, but nothing. He wasn't there.

"Has anyone seen Puckerman today?" Will asked, eyes darting to me.

Everyone murmured, coming to the conclusion that he came in during 3rd period, but that didn't explain his disappearance in Glee.

"And where's my man Kurt?" Mercedes asked, searching the room.

"Uh, Kurt has some family issues right now and may not be here for a while." Mr. Schue said

"Is he alright?" Mercedes pushed.

"Things are pretty complicated, but I'm sure he'll tell you when he comes back. Regardless, we have Nationals to think about. Anyone have any idea for the setlist?" I wasn't surprised when Rachel's hand darted up. Mr. Schue took a deep breath, not knowing what to expect from the tiny Broadway dreamer.

"As much as I hate to say this, I think Nicole deserves some lead vocals, well, at least for one song." Everyone was pretty shocked to hear those words come out of her mouth. Mr. Schue even gasped.

"Well, I feel quite offended by that reaction." she scoffed, probably regretting that she let that suggestion slip out of her mouth.

"Sorry Rach, it's just...that's a great idea." he smiled, writing it down on a piece of paper although we all knew he wouldn't need the reminder.

"Any other suggestions?" I tried to think, but I really had nothing. I was just as clueless as he was at this moment.

"I think we could really use a sappy number as well as a powerhouse kind of number. I mean Vocal Adrenaline doesn't show much sobby stuff so we could beat them out in that. Plus we won at Regionals like that." Finn suggested.

"I think he means emotional" I laughed, giving him a quick look.

"Yes, yes. That's an awesome suggestion. Artists?" Now I was lost. Who were they gonna make me sing?

"Maybe some Carrie Underwood. I mean, it fits her voice, plus she can be very emotional." Tina suggested. That wasn't bad. Not bad at all. Mr. Schue jotted down quickly.

"I agree. How about 'Just a Dream'?" Quinn said, smiling at the suggestions everyone was pouring out.

"Wait, Mr. Schue, this sounds great and all but, I was thinking of something else." Rachel said, hand in the air again.

"What is it, Rachel?" Mr. Schue put down his pen.

"I was thinking...original songs. I mean in my opinion, it would really be amazing. Plus, she is a songwriter. This is something Vocal Adrenaline wouldn't even think of doing." I smiled at what Rachel was saying.

"Are you sure? I mean-" Mr. Schue started.

"I'm on board. I'd be more than happy to and I could even check with the group and get their opinion long before Nationals. Please?" I said, almost begging.

"I think it sounds pretty good, Mr. Schue. C'mon." Mike chimed in.

"You know she'd own that stage." Artie taunted.

"Okay. You guys have a deal. Original songs for Nationals, Nicole being our songwriter. Nice work guys." Mr. Schue smiled. I beamed.

"Thanks Rachel. I owe you one." I said as our instructor sat down to watch us communicate with each other.

"No. You just better own that stage at Nationals and write some pretty amazing songs." she laughed as well as the group.

"Consider it done." I smirked.

After class I walked out pretty happily, forgetting all about Noah. Well, that was until Tina tapped me on the shoulder and pointed towards him...and another girl.

_What the hell?_ I thought to myself although I should've said it out loud. He was flirting with a Cheerio, hand up against the locker as he tried to be smooth. This was too much. I walked back into Glee to spend my free period.

"Hey is something wrong?" Will asked as I walked back in the room and slumped down.

"Why don't you take a look to your right as you walk out the door?" I offered. He stared at me and did so. When he returned, he wasn't happy.

"You can say it." I said tears building up.

"Say what?"

"I told you so" I squeezed a few tears out as he sat next to me, hand on my shoulder and rubbing my back.

"No, no baby. I'm not gonna say that. You had faith and that's more than I can say for myself. He's not worth it." I cried into his shoulder, just praying Noah wouldn't come in here. I didn't need any more of his lame excuses or fights. I was done with him. We were done. I pulled out my phone to text him.

**We're done. It's over.**

I didn't expect nor need an answer to that. I just needed him to know that he shouldn't bother coming over or waiting for me or caring for that matter.

I thanked Will for being there for me before leaving to go to my next class.

"Wait, Nicole! Nicole!' I turned around to see Puck chasing after me. I turned back around, picking up my pace. He grabbed my shoulders and spun me around to face him.

"What do you mean we're done?" I could smell the alcohol on his breath and shuddered.

"Are you drunk?" I said trying not to yell so he didn't get suspended or anything. I guess I still cared. At least a little.

"Kind of. I mean I drank last and this morning. But I can explain, I-" I grabbed his arms and threw them off of my shoulders.

"I don't need to hear it. God, why can't I ever seem to get it right?" I sounded hysterical as I made my way through the rest of my day.

When I got home, I couldn't stop writing. This song would be brilliant. I ignored all of the incoming texts and calls, hoping to be done with him.

He never even said "Sorry".

Well I guess it _was_ the hardest word.


	17. It's Too Late To Apologize

"How's your song coming?" Will knocked on the door before coming in.

"It's great. You can't see it. I know I told the club that I'd show them, but this time I know it's amazing and I really want it to be a surprise. I will show them the other song, though." Will sat next to me on the bed as I closed my notebook.

"You're something." he laughed, hugging me tight to his side.

"I know, I know." I laughed along, just happy to have someone who was never going to leave me, no matter what I did.

"You should get some rest. It's late." he kissed my head, standing up.

"Thanks, Will." I stood up and hugged him. By now, the whole hugging thing kind of came as routine and he seemed to accept that. My phone started to vibrate on the bed and I slowly pulled back from Will. He looked at me with dark, serious eyes.

"You gonna answer it?" he asked, hand on my shoulder.

"No. He's been calling and texting the whole night, but..." I just shook my head, not willing to cry again. I sank down on the bed, running a hand through my hair. _I was started to pick up Will's nervous ticks_ I laughed.

"Call me if you need me. Get some rest." He kissed my head as I continued to sit there, staring at the phone I now held in my lap.

"Okay. I love you, Will." I smiled, looking up at him.

"Love you, too. Goodnight." he closed the door and I looked back down at my phone. 13 new voicemails. I finally dialed it to listen to what he had to say.

"Listen, I-I really can explain, babe. I'm sorry." That's how most of them went. But some of the lasts ones changed my mind a little.

"Nicole...I'm sorry. I made a mistake. Actually a lot of them. But they were mistakes. I love you. Please, give me a chance to show you I'm sorry. Please. I love you." I thought about the sincerity in his voice. It was actually real. Surprisingly genuine.

I laid down and shimmied under the covers, hoping to get rest. I did with the hope that I could just be with Noah again.

"Morning." Will said as I walked out of my room. "Hungry?" he asked normally. I was glad he dimmed down his cherriness. It was getting odd.

"Actually, not really. I'm sorry. I just want to get to school as soon as possible and to get through it." he frowned.

"Noah, huh?" I looked at him, my eyes widened in surprise.

"You-you called him Noah. You didn't call him Puck." I stared at him, finding it hard to believe he had changed his mind after what he had done to me.

"He called me last night. He talked to me for hours and hours about how he missed you, how he wanted you back, how sorry he was...and how much he loved you. He still loves you and he obviously cares. I think you guys really need to sit down and talk." Will surprised me with all he said and I needed to sit down so I didn't fall over.

"Are you alright?" Will asked putting down his coffee and coming to my side.

"I-uh, yeah. I was just...taken back. I mean this kind of changes everything. He still loves me and I-I still love him."

Coming to that realization changed everything when I got to school. Although I didn't catch up with him, but for the first time, I saw him in Glee Club.

We were all sitting down when he came in, late of course. I was surprised to see him looking so pitiful. I mean he looked awesome, but his eyes showed he wasn't feeling awesome.

"Dude you feeling okay? You don't look too good." Finn speculated as Puck stood there, eyes dark and sad.

"Mr. Schue I gotta do something." He wasn't asking. He stood in front of the room, eyes locked on me. Everyone stared in silence.

"Um, sure Puck. Go ahead." Mr. Schue said a bit awkwardly before sitting a seat down from me.

"Listen, Nicole. I love you. And-And I just gotta say I'm sorry." he looked down in shame, then stood in silence.

"Is that it?" I asked. He looked shocked as if I'd just forgive him that easily.

"Well, yeah. What else do you want?" I could feel Puck coming back. This wasn't Noah anymore who spoke those words 'I love you'.

"I don't forgive you. You-You fight with me, stormed out on me, start driking, come here partially drunk, flirt with another girl and you expect me to just forgive you like that? Well I'm sorry...Puck, but you're wrong." I picked up my stuff and headed out of the classroom, not bothering to look back. I stood outside the classroom, out of sight, to see if he had anything to say.

"What the hell was that?" Mercedes said, probably glaring at Puck or looking at the door to me.

"She-she called me _Puck_." I heard him whipser, barely audible from where I was at.

"Isn't that kind of your name?" asked Brittany, confused as ever.

"No. Not to her. With her I was Noah. A sweet guy who loved and cared for and protected his girlfriend. Now to her I'm just Puck. The ass who tries to tear her down and leave her with nothing. Damn it!" his voice raised and he was going into 'Tempermental Puck'. I needed to watch out for that side of Puck. I walked off to the library where I seemed to settle all my problems. Just so Will wouldn't worry, I sent him a quick text. If he looked at it during or after Glee club didn't matter.

**Sorry. In library. I need to cool off. Tell me when he's gone.**

I assumed they were going to talk about Nationals, so why not be efficient and work on the song. I took out my notebook and continued to jot down more lyrics. After all that's happened, the lyrics really were easy to write. I had the experience. I decided I'd work on the more upbeat song later. This sad one was too easy to write.

_Was this all my fault? I mean my intentions were good, right? Why was it that when I screwed myself or one other person over, that it seemed everyone else came with it? It wasn't fair. I already tried running, that didn't solve anything. What else was there? It just seemed like the weight of everything was crashing down on my shoulders and my shoulders alone. I took the blame, but everyone else suffered. I guess I just care too much. Is that a thing? Can someone actually care too much? I guess so: I was living proof._

Before I knew it, Free Period was here and Mr. Schue had texted me telling me that. I headed back to the choir room, only to find Will sitting on the risers, hand running through his hair. I sat next to him, my hand on his back.

"What happened?" I asked, my eyes full of compassion.

"This poor club's falling to pieces." he wasn't looking at me. Oh, God. The club was falling apart because of _me_. It was _my_ fault.

"I-I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I keep putting my relationships and my own issues before this club. I've become Rachel Berry, but a million times worse. She's actually mellowed out. I am a terrible person. Damn it!" I threw my bag across the room and watched it slam against the wall. I dropped to the floor, scrunching my long, brown, wavy hair in my hands.

"Hey, it's not your fault." Will was trying to comfort me, but I shook him off, getting the willpower to stand.

"No, Will. I'm sorry, but you're not letting me out of this one. We both blame me. The club blames me. None of you would admit it, but it's true. There's no way out of it. I've become Sue, Will." I looked up in frustration. "I'm gonna go...cry somewhere. Listen, do you mind stopping by the hospital on the way home? You can just drop me off if you want. I'll be with Kurt. But feel free to stay." I stared at his concerned, sad eyes for a moment.

"I'm sorry, Will." I turned and walked out, grabbing my bag and it's contents off the floor.

I roamed the hallways, stopped at my locker, and searched the classrooms for somewhere I could just hang out and try to collect myself, but no surprise I came up short. I had totally missed out on my free period and had to go to the rest of the classes. I was thankful at the end of the day when I got to meet up with Will in the choir room.

"You ready to go?" he asked. I nodded as we quietly headed out of the choir room and into the hallways.

"Hey, wait a minute. You're that girl who Karofsky screwed up, right? I'd recognize that sulking anywhere." Will shot Sue a look, but I let it go.

"What's your problem, Sue? What do you want?" Will was angry, but he was just taking his rage from me out on her. He wan angry with me and I knew it.

"Calm down, I Can't Believe It's Not Butter, I was just wondering. You're dating that Puckerman kid right?" My heart dropped.

"Not anymore, no." I said, swallowing hard.

"Figured as much. That kid is usually all over my Cheerios, but lately he has been totally behaved. I had no idea that was possible. You must've completely shattered his heart." She smirked, bumping Will's shoulder as she walked passed him.

"You did a real favor for me, kid. Maybe you're not so bad at all." she leaned in next to me to whisper, then walked away laughing.

"C'mon." Will had a hand on my back, pushing me forward so I would walk again. To be honest, he did most of the walking for me.

When we got there, Kurt was in his usual spot next to his father, holding his hand. Kurt just looked so...helpless right now.

"Hey." I gave him a small wave before grabbing a chair and sitting next to him.

"I got some papers to grade, Spanish finals and all. I'll pick you up a little later, okay?" Will walked over and kissed my head as I nodded.

"See ya." I called as he walked out.

"Everything okay?" Kurt asked, placing a hand on my bare knee.

"Yeah. Just...so much drama and stress." I ran my hand through my hair and he chuckled.

"I'm sorry. Just that nervous little habit." he laughed.

"Yeah." I laughed along with him. It was nice to see him smile for once. It'd been too long.

"Tell me." his smile faded and he stared into my eyes.

I looked down, not wanting him to see the hurt in my eyes.

"Noah Puckerman." he said. He could read me like a book. "How bad was the breakup?" I finally looked up to meet his eyes.

"Unexpected. Every since he ran out of the hospital that day, we didn't really talk. He started drinking and came into school today partially drunk and started hitting on another girl. He said he loved me and he was sorry in Glee club in front of everyone, but I wouldn't take it. I told him that wasn't gonna be enough. So, yeah. We're done." I let out a sigh of relief.

"I'm sorry." he hugged me, being the sympathetic, comforting guy he was.

"Thank, Kurt. But you know, your problems are much bigger." I stared at Burt. I took his hand from Kurt and squeezed it.

"Will's angry with me." I said emotionless.

"What?" Kurt asked surprised.

"He won't admit it, but he is. The glee club's falling apart and it's all because of me. I never seem to get it right, ya know? I just don't know." I kissed his father's hand before returning it to Kurt.

"It'll work out, ya know. Just like my dad. I know it's gonna work out. And I don't blame you. It's not your fault. I don't care what happened, it'll never be your fault. I mean you supply that group with love. Before you came, we didn't really like each other all that much and now it's like we're best friends." I smiled and he offered me his other hand. I took it happily.

"Thanks. You are an amazing friend, you know that? I hope you're right. Oh, guess what! I am writing the songs for Nationals. Miss Rachel Berry actually suggested it! Do you believe that?" he gawked in amazement.

"That's incredible. I'm so proud of you." he hugged me tightly once more until we heard a cough.

"Dad? Dad?" Kurt went into full-hope/panic mode.

"K-Kurt?" his father grunted.

"Yeah, Dad. It's me. Oh I missed you so much. I love you, Dad." I watched as Kurt cried into his father. I stepped outside to grab a nurse and tell her he's awake.

I figured it'd be nice to call Will and let him know.

"Hey Will!"he must've been surprised at the cheeriness in my voice.

"Hey. Is everything okay?" he asked, almost laughing.

"Burt woke up, Will. I've never seen Kurt so joyful in my life. They said he can even go home tonight. I mean I guess now they're running tests to check and everything, but someone's gonna have to drive him home. Would you mind?" I hoped he didn't mind inside. I knew he would say it was okay, but I never knew how he really felt.

"Of course. How about in an hour or two? Is that alright?" I smiled. Another hour to hang with Kurt and his father.

"Definitely. Thanks, Dad. Love you." Before he could even respond, I ended the call and put the phone in my pocket.

"Hi." I smiled, hugging Burt. He didn't expect it, but didn't refuse it either. "How are you feeling?" I asked, pulling back.

"Fine. What are you doing here?" he wondered. It wasn't angry, just confused.

"Dad, the first night she stayed the whole weekend and only left for school and stuff. She even came here when her and Noah had an ugly breakup." Kurt explained lovingly.

"Thanks, Sweetie. It means a lot. Thanks for keeping Kurt company too." I smiled.

"That part was easy" I laughed.

"It's good to see you again. Sorry about that Puckerman kid." I smiled. He was being really nice to me.

"Don't sweat it. Will's gonna take us all home tonight. Is that okay?" I wasn't really asking, knowing that he'd be okay with that.

"Yeah. Thank you very much." I nodded, taking a seat next to Kurt.

"You were right." I said, staring at Kurt with serious eyes.

"Hmm? Oh, yeah. I guess so." Kurt smiled, looking back at me.

I stared at my lap.

"You give me hope." I whispered to myself.


	18. Nationals

Later that evening, Will came to pick us up. We talked for a bit before helping Burt to the car and settling him in the passenger seat while Kurt and I sat in the back.

I held his hand and let him rest his head on my shoulder. He looked absolutely exhausted. I felt terrible about it. He fell asleep and when we got to his house, I carried him in and let Will help Burt along.

"Thanks for everything. I really apprecite it. It was good to see you guys again." Burt said shaking Will's hand and hugging me after I set Kurt down. I kissed Kurt's head and headed upstairs with Will to leave.

"See ya. Call us if you need anything." I heard Will say. I waved, walking back to the car. As soon as Will started the car, I stared out the window, letting the tears fall. He knew I was crying from my breathing. He placed a free hand on my back and rubbed, doing his best to soothe me while driving.

"It's okay. Try not to think about it, okay? We have Nationals and after Nationals, you guys can sit down and talk it out. And then, the following week you kids have...graduation." he said, making me turned forwards again, wiping my face. He was right. Nationals.

The rest of the week I spent teaching the rest of the club the routine I came up with and they really seemed to like it. It was harder to choreograph putting Artie into the equation. I wasn't used to it, but I seemed to maneuver and it kind of worked. Well, Will was extremely excited with it, but I wasn't as sure. I trusted his judgement, though. Mike and Brittany actually helped with choreography a lot more than I expected. Ideas just flowed out of them and I really appreciated the assistance. We were ready.

"This is it. When we walk out on that stage in a minute, it's your time to shine. Your last performance. Make it a good one. Let's go." Mr. Schue a little less than reassuring. He made me want to cry about missing Glee club and performing and my friends, but I had to keep it together. This was it. I walked onto the stage alone for my little solo performance. Mid performance Brittany and Tina would come to sway in the background and sing backup, but really I was on my own. I looked into the wings to see Will, smiling. He wasn't Mr. Schue right now. He was Will. As the intro played, I turned back to the front and began to sing what I had been working so hard on.

**What have I done?**  
><strong>I wish I could run,<strong>  
><strong>Away from this ship going under<strong>  
><strong>Just trying to help<strong>  
><strong>Hurt everyone else<strong>  
><strong>Now I feel the weight of the world is on my shoulders<strong>

**What can you do when your good isn't good enough**  
><strong>And all that you touch tumbles down?<strong>  
><strong>Cause my best intentions<strong>  
><strong>Keep making a mess of things,<strong>  
><strong>I just wanna fix it somehow<strong>  
><strong>But how many times will it take?<strong>  
><strong>Oh, how many times will it take for me to get it right, to get it right?<strong>

I looked to the wings again to see Will, but didn't only see him, but Noah too. He was smiling, but his eyes showed he was completely broken inside. I felt bad, but I had to continue on. It must've have been pretty cool for the club though, this being the first time they were hearing the song. The only ones I let hear before were Brittany and Tina so they could be aware of what to do.

**Can I start again, with my faith shaken?**  
><strong>Cause I can't go back and undo this<strong>  
><strong>I just have to stay and face my mistakes,<strong>  
><strong>But if I get stronger and wiser, I'll get through this<strong>

**What can you do when your good isn't good enough?**  
><strong>And all that you touch tumbles down?<strong>  
><strong>Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things,<strong>  
><strong>I just wanna fix it somehow<strong>  
><strong>But how many times will it take?<strong>  
><strong>Oh, how many times will it take for me to get it right?<strong>

Tina and Brittany entered the stage and did exactly as I wanted. I was proud of them.

**So I throw up my fist, throw a punch in the air,**  
><strong>And accept the truth that sometimes life isn't fair!<strong>  
><strong>Yeah, I'll send out a wish, yeah, I'll send up a prayer<strong>  
><strong>And finally someone will see how much I care<strong>

I held the note out loud and clear, but very smoothe at the same time. The crowd rose as the rest of the club followed onto the stage, following Brittany and Tian's lead. Everything was going smoothly. Will smiled at me, clapping his hands along with the crowd.

**What can you do when your good isn't good enough?**  
><strong>And all that you touch tumbles down?<strong>  
><strong>Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things,<strong>  
><strong>I just wanna fix it somehow<strong>  
><strong>But how many times will it take?<strong>  
><strong>Oh, how many times will it take, to get it right?<strong>  
><strong>To get it right?<strong>

The crowd stayed on their feet and clapped again when I aticulated my last note. I wanted to just hug everyone in the club, especially Kurt and Will and...I had to focus. I headed to my spot on the stage as the clapped calmed and turned on my head mic. I waited for the intro for us to begin.

**Hey hey hey**  
><strong>You and me keep on dancing in the dark<strong>  
><strong>It's been tearing me apart <strong>  
><strong>Never knowing what we are<strong>

**Hey hey hey**  
><strong>You and me keep on trying to play it cool<strong>  
><strong>Now it's time to make a move <strong>  
><strong>And that's what I'm gonna do<strong>

Santana took that part of the song and the next was up to Artie and Brittany.

**Lay it all down**  
><strong>Got something to say<strong>  
><strong>Lay it all down<strong>  
><strong>Throw your doubt away<strong>  
><strong>Do I die now<strong>  
><strong>Step on to the plate<strong>  
><strong>Blow the door wide open like up up and away<strong>

We all took the chorus and really punched out the notes like they were our last...I guess because they were.

**Let's light up the world tonigh-igh-ight**  
><strong>You gotta give up the fight and ri-i-ide<strong>  
><strong>I know that we got the love, alrigh-igh-ight<strong>  
><strong>Come on and ligh-ligh-light it up<strong>  
><strong>Light it up tonight<strong>

**Let's light up the world tonigh-igh-ight**  
><strong>You gotta give up the fight and ri-i-ide<strong>  
><strong>I know that we got the love, alrigh-igh-ight<strong>  
><strong>Come on and ligh-ligh-light it up<strong>  
><strong>Light it up tonight<strong>

Finn's turn. I had faith that he wouldn't screw this up. I had to take extra time to practice with him, but it was worth it. He really owned during rehearsal.

**Hey hey hey  
>You and me turn it up 10000 watts<br>Tell me why we gotta stop  
>I just wanna light her up<strong>

Hey hey hey  
>You and me keep on staring at the road<br>Like we don't know where to go  
>Step back, let me take control<p>

Lay it all down  
>Got something to say<br>Lay it all down  
>Throw your doubt away<br>Do I die now  
>Step on to the plate<br>Blow the door wide open like up up and away

This time, we belted the chorus even harder because the song was coming to an end and we all knew it.

**Let's light up the world tonigh-igh-ight**  
><strong>You gotta give up the fight and ri-i-ide<strong>  
><strong>I know that we got the love, alrigh-igh-ight<strong>  
><strong>Come on and ligh-ligh-light it up<strong>  
><strong>Light it up tonight<strong>

**Let's light up the world tonigh-igh-ight**  
><strong>You gotta give up the fight and ri-i-ide<strong>  
><strong>I know that we got the love, alrigh-igh-ight<strong>  
><strong>Come on and ligh-ligh-light it up<strong>  
><strong>Light it up tonight<strong>

**Hey hey hey you**  
><strong>Hey hey hey you<strong>  
><strong>Hey hey hey you<strong>  
><strong>Hey hey hey you you you you you<strong>

I didn't have to worry about Rachel. She knew what she was doing

**Lay it all down**  
><strong>Got something to say<strong>  
><strong>Lay it all down<strong>  
><strong>Throw your doubt away<strong>  
><strong>Do I die now<strong>  
><strong>Step on to the plate<strong>  
><strong>Blow the door wide open like up up and away<strong>

**Let's light up the world tonigh-igh-ight**  
><strong>You gotta give up the fight and ri-i-ide<strong>  
><strong>I know that we got the love, alrigh-igh-ight<strong>  
><strong>Come on and ligh-ligh-light it up<strong>  
><strong>Light it up tonight<strong>

The crowd clapped along to the beat and even stood as they did so. I was really confident at this point**.**

**Let's light up the world tonigh-igh-ight**  
><strong>You gotta give up the fight and ri-i-ide<strong>  
><strong>I know that we got the love, alrigh-igh-ight<strong>  
><strong>Come on and ligh-ligh-light it up<strong>  
><strong>Light it up tonight<strong>

**Let's light up the world tonigh-igh-ight**  
><strong>You gotta give up the fight and ri-i-ide<strong>  
><strong>I know that we got the love, alrigh-igh-ight<strong>  
><strong>Come on and ligh-ligh-light it up<strong>  
><strong>Light it up tonight<strong>

The crowd stayed on their feet for what seemed like an endless ovation. We stayed for a moment then slowly made our way off of the stage and into the room we were in once before.

"That was awesome." Tina beamed.

"And your songs...Oh my gosh! They were so good!" Rachel hugged me quickly.

"I think I actually did the moves right." Finn was impressed easily.

"Yes. You did fantastic." I laughed, hugging him quickly.

"I'm proud of you guys. You gave it your all which was more than enough. Good job." Mr. Schue interupted.

"Does anyone else smell group hug?" I laughed heading towards him.

"I thought he smelled good." Brittany said causing everyone to laugh. We attacked Mr. Schue with a group hug, pretty much squeezing the life out of him.

"The board. The last group finished. The board should be up." Mike said. We all wanted this so badly, but were so afraid.

"I'll do it." Mr. Schue bravely walked down the long hallway to where results where posted and show choirs all cheered and some cried. We inched a bit closer to where he was. We watched as he scanned the list and turned back to us.

"What did we place?" Rachel asked nervously.

"We didn't." Mr. Schue said disappointed. Some of the members burst into tears and Santana cried into me.

"I'm sorry." I said into her ear. "I'm sorry." I did the routine and the songs were mine. It was my fault we didn't place. I should've done better.

I held her tight, watching the others members cry their hearts out. I couldn't imagine how much it pained Will to see all of this. It was gonna be a long night.

"Let's go guys." he said grimly, ushering us to where the bus would be outside the doors. Walking by, we congratulated the other groups and I think he was proud of us. Santana probably wanted to kill someone, but instead she congratulated them. _How sweet_ I thought.

On the bus, we were silent. Our hearts felt heavy and we wanted to die. Everyone stared down at their laps, wondering what they did wrong.

"I am so proud." Mr. Schue said after sitting in the school lot for 10 minutes.

"We lost." Mercedes said dumbstruck.

"How did we lose?" Kurt asked feeling like such a failure next to me.

"We didn't. We won because did our best and we had more heart than anyone else in there." I said, not looking up.

"We did, didn't we?" asked Finn.

"You did. Thank you for giving me the greatest year of Glee club I ever had." he was tearing up. I really didn't expect him to do this just yet.

"Don't cry, Mr. Schue. We still have next week." Tina said smiling at the thought.

"Actually, Figgins wants to have us perform at a little farewell assembly before graduation, but we have no classes anymore." The words hit me like a rock.

_...and I'll take care of you, at least until your graduation._

I was so much closer to losing him than I thought. I would have to leave and be on my own. Living my own life. The thought scared me, so I stood up.

"What are we waiting for? We have a loss-win to brag about." I laughed. Everyone else laughed, drying their tears. We headed off the bus, cheering and full of excitement to the waiting parents.

Then I remembered someone: Noah. I didn't even aknowledge him the whole time, but it wasn't purposely. I searched in the darkness, but couldn't find him. Great. Let's just add another screw-up to the list.

I felt Will's hand on my shoulder as he watched me search for Noah. I didn't think he was mad anymore, though. I wasn't being selfish and I did my best to bring the group together.

"Hey." Kurt smiled.

"Oh, Kurt." I took him into a big, long embrace.

"That song, that you sang...God, did that tear me up. You're really a really talented writer and performer. I believed you meant every single word you sang." I smiled with tear-filled eyes, just nodding.

"I'll see you on Monday?" he asked.

"Yeah. Monday. No more drama, either." I grinned seeing him smile after everything we went through.

"Bye. I love you." he hugged me and kissed my cheek.

"I love you, too, Kurt." he held my hand before retreating with his dad.

"See ya Mr. Schue. Bye Nicole." said Quinn, passing by with her mom. I gave a small smile and wave.

"You ready?" he asked after a long silence.

"Yeah." I walked with him to the car, still searching for Noah. I needed him so much more than I believed before. There was _always_ loss in love.

When we got home, I curled up on the couch after throwing on some sweats.

"You okay?" he said next to me, arm around my shoulder.

"I just really miss him. I love him, Will."

"I know you do. Everytime you see him you practically light up like a Christmas tree, but after what happened, there just seems to be a fire burning inside you." he was right.

"I am really proud of what you wrote for Nationals. Especially your solo. That was incredible."

"Noah. He was right there, watching with you. Did he say anything?" I asked, hopeful there was any indication that he still loved me.

"Just that you were so beautiful and talented." That counted right?

I sat for a moment, imagining how hard graduation would be if we didn't make up. A single tear fell and before I knew it, I was in Will's arms, being rocked and comforted.

"I'm sorry, too if I was selfish with the group." he leaned back to look at my wet eyes, still dripping.

"I'm not mad. I'm not mad at you." he said, his voice breaking. It was almost a whisper. I continued to sob into him for what seemed like forever until my phone buzzed in my pocket. I knew who it was.

"C-Can you answer it? I-I don't want him to-to think I'm blowing him off." I reached in my pocket and held out my phone. He nodded warily, answering the call.

"Hello?" his voice was shaky, but I guess it was just a bit awkward for him. I scootched closer so I could hear what Noah had to say.

"Will? Where's Nicole?" he sounded anxious. Maybe he still did love me.

"Sh-She uh...is a little busy." he wasn't sure what to say, but as I let the tears slowly fall from my eyes, I nodded that it was okay.

"Busy? She's not upset is she? Damn it!" he was angry. Will had no idea what to say.

"Listen. Just tell her to hang on, okay? I'm gonna do my best to make everything right. Tell her I love her."

"Okay, Noah. I'll do that. Thanks for calling. Bye." I did my best to wipe away the tears that were created from the last words my Noah said.

"You got all that?" Will asked, almost smirking. I laughed a little, nodding.

"Thanks. I really appreciate it." I hugged him close, loving the warmth he seemed to bring to my soul. I just wanted to see him again. I needed to hold him again. I didn't need to talk to him that moment. I just needed to have him in my arms.

"No problem. But...something else is bothering you, isn't it?" he touched my face and I turned slightly, closing my eyes.

"I just...I just want him in my arms again. I want to feel him, ya know?" I slumped against Will's chest, thankful he was there.

"I know, Sweetie. It's gonna get better. I promise you it'll get better. He says he's trying to fix things." Will kissed my head and I knew he was right.

"Thanks, Will. You always know just what to say." he smiled as I hugged him before heading back to my room. I laid there, thinking about Noah. But then I remembered Graduation.

I remembered what would be goodbye.


	19. Leading Up

Will and I had breakfast and usual, both of us a little puffy-eyed. I didn't like when he cried, but I liked the thought it may not have been all my fault. He was going to have to say goodbye to all of us kids. I mean that must've been_ really_ hard. I found it hard. We didn't speak. Today was the day we had our last "Glee Club" rehearsal although really it was just practice for the graduation assembly later that day.

"Can't believe tomorrow we're saying goodbye." Kurt said lifelessly as we sat down in Glee.

"I know." I took his hand and he squeezed mine gently.

"Umm...okay, guys. We have this one last performance for the school. It's gotta be good. Now do you guys want to pick who is lead vocals or should I put your names in a hat?" Mr. Schue tried to laugh, but it was obvious he was so sad.

"Nicole." Kurt said. I stared at him in amazement.

"I'll second that." I turned to see Noah standing. It took my breath away when he looked into my eyes.

"Uh...is everyone alright with that?" Mr. Schue asked, making sure I wasn't going to cry.

"Sh-She's the only one who isn't gonna start bawling and I mean she only got one year at this school. She needs to give a proper goodbye." Mercedes said, trying to contain the tears. I looked around to see everyone was really mopey and most were crying. Even the guys shed a few tears.

"Okay. I'll do it." I said, standing up. I looked over to see Noah smile.

"Let's get to work." Mr. Schue said happily.

We worked on the number only once or twice. It was easy enough and we all knew we were going to give it our all. As the auditiorium filled, I took my place at the mic.

Figgins allowed me the oppurtunity to make a speech and I wasn't going to pass that up.

"Okay. It's been quite a year here. It's been filled with smiles, laughs, tears, and a whole lot of drama. But there's also another thing that outweighed all of the problems and hate we seemed to harness for each other: love. Although it may be hard for a lot of you to believe, we did share a lot of love with one another, especially this club right here. Yeah. The club that has been tortured and hated by most of you, has been the most loving and comforting group of people I ever knew. And by tomorrow, we'll all split up and go our separate ways. So, without further a due, here is the Glee club singing a song that applies to every single one of you in this room. Thank you." They clapped quietly, well all but the "cool" kids and jocks and the music began.

**I always knew this day would come**  
><strong>We'd be standing one by one<strong>  
><strong>With our future in our hands<strong>  
><strong>So many dreams so many plans<strong>

**I always knew after all these years**  
><strong>There'd be laughter there'd be tears<strong>  
><strong>But never thought that I'd walk away<strong>  
><strong>With so much joy but so much pain<strong>  
><strong>And it's so hard to say goodbye<strong>

They actually seemed to be enjoying it, although most of them were crying on their friends and lovers.

**But yesterday's gone we gotta keep moving on**  
><strong>I'm so thankful for the moments so glad I got to know ya<strong>  
><strong>The times that we had I'll keep like a photograph<strong>  
><strong>And hold you in my heart forever<strong>  
><strong>I'll always remember you<strong>

**Nanananana**

**Another chapter in the book cant go back but you can look**  
><strong>And there we are on every page<strong>  
><strong>Memories I'll always save<strong>  
><strong>Up ahead only open doors<strong>  
><strong>Who knows what we're heading towards<strong>  
><strong>I wish you love I wish you luck<strong>  
><strong>For you the world just opens up<strong>  
><strong>But it's so hard to say goodbye<strong>

**Yesterday's gone we gotta keep moving on**  
><strong>I'm so thankful for the moments so glad I got to know ya<strong>  
><strong>The times that we had I'll keep like a photograph<strong>  
><strong>And hold you in my heart forever<strong>  
><strong>I'll always remember you<strong>

I was actually ready to start crying when I saw Will tearing up in the wings. He didn't know I saw him, but I was really sad I did. I just hated how hard this was all hitting him.

**Everyday that we had all the good all the bad**  
><strong>I'll keep them here inside<strong>  
><strong>All the times that we shared every place everywhere<strong>  
><strong>You touched my life<strong>  
><strong>Yeah one day we'll look back we'll smile and we'll laugh<strong>  
><strong>But right now we just cry<strong>  
><strong>Cause it's so hard to say goodbye<strong>

**Yesterday's gone we gotta keep moving on**  
><strong>I'm so thankful for the moments so glad I got to know ya<strong>  
><strong>The times that we had I'll keep like a photograph<strong>  
><strong>And hold you in my heart forever<strong>  
><strong>I'll always remember you<strong>

**Nanananana**

**I'll always remember you**

**I'll always remember you**

The students cheered excitedely, about half of them standing up. We took our respective bows and heading back to the choir room. We told Figgins that we needed time to relax, but really we just needed to say our goodbyes.

"Great job guys, I'm proud of you." Mr. Schue announced, but it didn't really matter what he said. Everyone was crying their eyes out and hugging each other. Even Kurt was crying. I didn't dare look at Noah. If he had tears, I didn't want to see them.

"Mr. Schue." Finn came up and hugged him so forcefully. He was crying. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Mr. Schue held on to him tightly, understanding how much he was going to miss us too.

Soon, each of the members took their turns hugging it out with him and telling him how much they were going to miss him and how great of a teacher he is. When Noah went up, I turned away so I didn't have to look at him. After we attacked Mr. Schue with hugs, it was time for each other. Kurt of course hugged me first, holding on to me tightly.

"God am I going to miss you." he cried into my shoulder.

"I'm gonna miss you too. Where are you headed after graduation?" he pulled back and stared into my sparkling eyes.

"I-I was thinking of California. Maybe try and get a record deal or something. If that didn't work, I'd go to New York for Broadway. What about you."

"Cali." I whispered. "Record deal." I smiled as he pulled me into another big hug. He finally let go and Quinn made her way over to me.

"I'm sorry I wasn't always there for you." she hugged me tightly and kissed my cheek. I nodded, accepting it. Soon Rachel and Finn were next, followed by Artie, Santana and Brittany, leaving Tina, Mike, and Mercedes. The only one left was...Noah. He walked over to me and hugged me tightly. I missed the feeling of his body against mine and I assumed he felt the same way. He held on to me for the longest time and kissed my head.

"This doesn't change things. As much as I love you, I-I still can't forgive you." I let tears fall onto his shoulder and he didn't seem to mind.

"I know." he whispered. "But I'm going to make things right." he sounded so sincere, so I believed him. I nodded, finally letting go of him. I tried to walk by him to take my seat, but he grabbed my arm.

"Wait." I turned to face him and stared deep into his eyes.

"W-What is it, Noah?" I asked, feeling everyone staring at us.

"Do you mean it? When you say you still love me?" he looked so vulnerable.

"Yes, Noah. I still love you. I never stopped." I turned around and he let go of my arm.

"If you all don't mind taking your seats now, I have a surprise for you. You all keep thanking me for my efforts, but I need to thank you all. Have a seat." I smiled, knowing this would be amazing.

As everyone sat down, he recruited the help of Brad to play the piano while he grabbed a stool to sing.

**I've been a walking heartache**  
><strong>I've made a mess of me<strong>  
><strong>The person that I've been lately<strong>  
><strong>Ain't who I wanna be<strong>

**But you stay here right beside me**  
><strong>And watch as the storm blows through<strong>  
><strong>And I need you<strong>

This was so sweet. I was really proud of him in this moment.

**Cause God gave me you for the ups and downs**  
><strong>God gave me you for the days of doubt<strong>  
><strong>And for when I think I lost my way<strong>  
><strong>There are no words here left to say, it's true<strong>  
><strong>God gave me you<strong>  
><strong>Gave me you<strong>

I took Kurt's hand and squeezed it, giving Noah the occassional glance. He was always smiling. It just reminded me of how much I really did miss him.

**There's more here than what we're seeing**  
><strong>A divine conspiracy<strong>  
><strong>That you, all angels lovely<strong>  
><strong>Could somehow be changing me<strong>  
><strong>You'll always be stars in my heart<br>****And I'll be the flattered fool**  
><strong>And I need you<strong>

I patted the empty seat next to me and Noah moved to sit there, smiling as he quietly made his way by my side. Still holding Kurt's hand, I leaned my head on Noah's shoulder and he took my other hand, intertwining our fingers.

**God gave me you for the ups and downs**  
><strong>God gave me you for the days of doubt<strong>  
><strong>And for when I think I lost my way<strong>  
><strong>There are no words here left to say, it's true<strong>  
><strong>God gave me you<strong>

**On my own I'm only**  
><strong>Half of what I could be<strong>  
><strong>I can't do without you<strong>  
><strong>We are stitched together<strong>  
><strong>And what goodbye has tethered<strong>  
><strong>I pray we never undo<strong>

**Cause God gave me you for the ups and downs**  
><strong>God gave me you for the days of doubt<strong>  
><strong>God gave me you for the ups and downs<strong>  
><strong>God gave me you for the days of doubt<strong>  
><strong>And for when I think I lost my way<strong>  
><strong>There are no words here left to say, it's true<strong>  
><strong>God gave me you, gave me you.<strong>  
><strong>He gave me you.<strong>

I was almost in tears, not just from the song, but just for the position I was in. Between my best friend and my hopefully soon to not be ex boyfriend. I could smell Noah and I was thankful I was sitting because I would've dropped to my knees.

"Thank you, Mr. Schue." Rachel whined, running up to hug him. Sam followed him and joined into the hug, eventually tempting us all to hug him. Looking at him afterwards, I was pretty sure we suffocated him with love. It was only when he raised his head that I saw him smile, but it wasn't there alone. It was followed by tears. A lot of tears. I rubbed his shoulder like he had done for me so many times.

"I-I'm sorry guys." he chuckled slightly.

We spent the rest of the day saying goodbye in the choir room. It was just so hard to think it was actually...over. Not too long later, Will dimissed us to go home and I hung back to say my final goodbyes to the glee club. It was one of those only times you wished you didn't have half-days at the end of the year. I was just happy we weren't stuck in the assembly.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, smiling as they filed out.

"Better. I got to hold Noah again. Plus, that song you sang was beautiful. Thank you." I turned and wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Is Sue gonna come to graduation tomorrow." I asked. He looked at me oddly, but thought about it.

"I don't think so. She's happy to know you're all leaving her. Why?" Will and I were walking out, heading towards the main doors to leave, but I stopped.

"I want to say goodbye to her." I turned around and ran to her office. I knew Will wasn't going to stop me, but it just seemed right to run.

I knocked on the door.

"School's over. What do you want?" she yelled angirly.

I opened the door and walked to where she stood taking down things from her office to take home for the summer.

"Oh, what the hell are you doing here?" she asked seeming flustered.

"Sue?" I asked. She reluctantly turned around seeing that I wasn't going to speak until she faced me.

"What?" she yelled again. I hugged her tightly, practically squeezing the life out of her. At first she tensed, then I assumed she saw Will outside and actually hugged back.

"I'm sorry." she whispered in my ear, soft and low.

"For what?" I asked, knowing just what she did this time that deserved an apology.

"For being...for...hating you. I r-r-respect you." I practically gaped at the words that came out of her mouth.

"I forgive you, Sue." I pulled back to see her face.

"Damn. Why do you have to be pretty, nice, and talented." she laughed. I pulled her in once more and pulled back smiling.

"I think someone's here for you." she was looking up. I turned to see Will talking to Noah and...smiling. Why the hell was Will smiling?

"Goodbye, Sue." I smiled and walked out. Sue watched from her office as Noah quickly hugged me, kissed my head, and left.

"What did he talk to you about?" I asked Will, watching Noah leave.

"Nothing. What did Sue say? Should I schedule your appointment with a therapist now or later?" he joked.

"Oh, no. She didn't say anything. Just a friendly goodbye." I smiled. He stared at me in disbelief and we walked to his car.

"You know I'm gonna let you stay with me as long as you need to find your place in this world after graduation." I just nodded as we drove.

No matter how long he allowed me to stay there, there would always be one thing.

There would always be a goodbye.


	20. Graduation

When we got home, I decided it would be the best if I spent the day with Will considering we'd be parting soon. After a long while of sitting in the silence, each of us trying to avoid the giant elephant in the room, he spoke up.

"Have you ever thought of what you're doing after...well graduation?" I could tell he was extremely uncomfortable with the idea of losing us.

"Yeah. Kurt's headed to LA and if things don't work out, Broadway. I figure I have an alright shot of getting some kind of record deal, so I'll also head to California."

"I gotta talk to that kid. Broadway is definitely the better choice for him. And I think that's a very reasonable plan. I just think maybe you should talk it over with...uh, ya know. Noah. I mean I just don't want you fighting anymore. You've completely lost the sparkle in your eyes and you only smile halfay...it never reaches your eyes anymore. I really want you to be happy." Without speaking, I just held him. He was definitely stressed and needed to unwind and calm down.

"I can't believe you kids are just gonna be...gone. I mean you're adults now. And you'll all be leaving to start your own lives. I-I just..." Will began to let his own tears fall and I held him tightly. It wasn't often that he cried. I felt as my phone vibrated in my pocket, but I ignored it. Will was always there for me and I wasn't going to back out on him. Family came first.

"I'm sorry. I get what you mean. It's gonna be hard leaving all of them behind. I feel like they're family and...I'm just _leaving_ them. But I'll never leave, Will. I know I'm not all of them, but just know I'll always come back to you." I watched as he pulled back to smile.

"That's all that matters. You'll always be welcome here." I smiled back as he began to dry his tears and collect himself. "Thanks, Nicole. You don't have to stay out here any longer. I mean you're welcome, but don't feel obligated." While he got comfortable and turned on a movie, I curled up next to him.

"I want to." I said. He looked down at me in awe and grabbed a blanket off the back of the sofa. I wasn't really watching the movie and I didn't think he was either. We just both needed some real father-daughter time without all of the drama.

I was almost asleep when the movie ended, although he believed I was. He moved slowly and carefully, picking me up and carrying me to my room. I'd play along with the charade. I'd let us have our moment. I clung to his neck and he tried to lay me down.

"Come on, baby. You gotta let go." he laughed, unlatching my hands from him. I mumbled quietly in defeat, only making him laugh more.

"Goodnight. I love you." he kissed my head, touching my cheek with his thumb. He turned to walk out the door and just before he exited, I stop him.

"Mm, wait. Will?" he turned around and smiled as I squinted my eyes.

"Yeah, Nicole?"

"I love you, too." he came back to hug me before leaving me to rest.

The next morning was pretty mournful. I didn't want to get up and actually made Will drag me out to the kitchen.

"Please eat." he pleaded as I sat, my chin held in my palm with my elbow on the table. "Look, whether you go to school or not, graduation is still going to happen." he was right.

"I'm sorry." I said eating a forkful.

"It's okay. I know. I don't want it to end either." he seemed to reminice just then. I stared at him, wondering what times he had when I wasn't around. I hated seeing him sad like that.

"What time are we heading out?" I asked, just trying to save him from his memories.

"Uh...probably 15, maybe 20 minutes." he snapped back to the present time.

"Okay." I cleaned up the table and got a shower and got dressed. After coming out, ready to go, he had the same blank expression on. I wish I knew what he was thinking about.

"You ready?" I asked trying to get his attention.

"Uh...yeah. Sorry. Yeah, let's go." he grabbed his keys and we headed out the door.

"Are you okay?" I asked as we started our drive.

"Yeah, definitely." he faked a smile. He was really torn up about this.

Getting to school was hard, too. Walking into the doors, you thought their should be 'Wet Floor' signs around. Everyone was sobbing, even the freshmen. I guess they needed something to do. An announcement was made for everyone to head outside to the football field where the ceremony would take place. I remembered shuffling my feet, my heart racing, and before I knew it, I had a diploma in my hand.

"What the hell happened?" I asked, looking around at our class all mingling as discussing plans for the future.

"Graduation." Will laughed. "You looked pretty dazed." I stuck my toungue out playfully, looking for Noah. His facial expression changed dramatically when he knew what I was doing. He pointed in a direction towards the stage so I walked. I felt like I was in autopilot.

"If I could have your attention...hey...yo, shut up! I got something to say." Puck announced, well shouted into the microphone. My heart dropped, imagining what he'd sing. I was much too excited to get my boyfriend back.

"I hurt my girl, or my used-to-be girl and I need to say I'm sorry. She doesn't need to take me back, but I need her to know how sorry I am." He slung his guitar strap over his shoulder and began strumming. Everyone was silent and crowded around. I stared into his eyes and saw nothing but pure, undoubtable love. He _was_ sorry. I knew that before he sang.

**Oh I had a lot to say was thinking on my time away**  
><strong>I missed you and things weren't the same<strong>  
><strong>Cause everything inside it never comes out right<strong>  
><strong>And when I see you cry it makes me want to die<strong>

I couldn't believe how sincere his voice was. He was singing from the heart.

**I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry you're blue, I'm sorry about all things I said to you**  
><strong>And I know I can't take it back<strong>  
><strong>I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds, and baby the way you make my world go round<strong>  
><strong>And I just wanted to say I'm sorry<strong>

**This time I think I'm to blame it's harder to get through the days**  
><strong>You get older and blame turns to shame<strong>  
><strong>Cause everything inside it never comes out right<strong>  
><strong>And when I see you cry it makes me want to die<strong>

Our graduating class really seemed to enjoy the performance. They were just listening to his voice, not his words.

**I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry you're blue, I'm sorry about all things I said to you**  
><strong>And I know I can't take it back<strong>  
><strong>I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds, and baby the way you make my world go round<strong>  
><strong>And I just wanted to say I'm sorry<strong>

**Every single day I think about how we came all this way**  
><strong>The sleepless nights and the tears you cried it's never too late to make it right<strong>  
><strong>Oh yeah sorry!<strong>

At that moment, I saw a single tear roll down his cheek. He honestly meant what he was saying and he was serious about us. He was in love.

**I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry you're blue, I'm sorry about all things I said to you**  
><strong>And I know I can't take it back<strong>  
><strong>I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds, and baby the way you make my world go round<strong>  
><strong>And I just wanted to say I'm sorry<strong>

They all cheered and whistled as he ended while I stood there absolutely breathless. He came off the stage, taking all the hi-fives until he got to me. He set his hands on my waist and stared into my eyes.

"I'm sorry. I'm never gonna hurt you again." he whispered.

"I know." It came out in a whisper, but simply because I was astonished by what he had done for me.

"I love you." I watched his lips as they slowly moved in closer towards mine. It was passionate, but subtle.

"I love you, too." I breathed. He chuckled moving my hands around his neck. "But there's no music." I said as we began to dance. He turned towards the stage and we both saw Rachel with the rest of the Glee club. I smiled.

"You are too much." I laughed, leaning my head on his chest. I could hear Will talking, probably to Emma nearby as well as the rest of our class. I guess this was pretty unexpected for most of them. I just leaned into him more, taking in his scent. He smelled amazing. I chuckled at the thought.

"What is it?" I looked up to see him smiling.

"Nothing...you just smell awesome." he was pretty much in hysterics.

"I knew there was reason I loved you." I smiled, staring into his dark eyes. "You smell really good, too." he leaned in to whisper in my ear seductively. I loved the feeling of his cool breath on my neck and ear. He stayed there until I moved my head slightly up to look at him, and he took my lips with his again. I cupped his cheek and he grabbed my waist, holding it closer to him. It was so...beautiful.

We stayed there until we were the only ones left. We never seemed to notice the absence of music or people until Will came over and spoke.

"Uh, guys. I think it's about time we head out. It's 8:15 now..." I nodded, looking at Noah.

"Could..." but Will just nodded.

"If it's okay with his mother." Will added, as Noah and I walked hand in hand to the car. Will was a really good dad. He trusted us enough to let us both sit in the back while he sat up front alone. We played with each others fingers intertwined between us while Noah texted his mom. She thankfully didn't mind one bit according to him. Once we were home, Noah offered to carry me inside because I was so comfortable on his shoulder and was reluctant to move. Even Will giggled as Noah scooped me up in his arms and carried me behind Will to his apartment. He set me down on the bed and quickly sat next to me, giving me someone to lean on.

"God, did I miss this." I said, cuddling as close as possible.

"Me, too. Hey, you're not mad at me anymore, right?" I stared up at him.

"Of course not. Why would I be mad still?" I wondered, my eyes big.

"I don't know. Just 'cause you didn't answer your phone..." I couldn't believe I forgot.

"Oh, Noah. I'm sorry. Will was just freaking out about today so I just held him until he was okay and I completley forgot. I'm sorry." he smiled looking down at me. I gave him a look of confusion.

"I don't know if I can accept that." he joked. I pouted, eyes watery. I was a good actor. After staring at him for about a minute while he pretended to weigh outcomes and deliberate, he finally made eye contact.

"Fine. I forgive you." he leaned in to kiss my lips. This time, unlike the others, the kiss lasted forever. I guess you could call it making out, but it was different. It was passionate, but stayed within said boundaries. It was absolutely beautiful. Perfect.

At around 11, Will came in to say his goodnights and remind us of his rules.

"Alright. I'm going to bed. Uh, Noah, you know the rules. Nicole's got some extra pillows and there's a few blankets in the closet." I giggled, throwing some pillows on the floor, more than just 1 person would need, of course. Will didn't make much of it though. I forgot he wasn't aware of our sleeping habits. I went to the closet and took out a blanket and also threw it on the floor.

"Goodnight. I love you." he kissed my head and I hugged him tightly as usual.

"Uh, night, Noah." I laughed as Noah walked up to hug Will, too. It was cute. Will laughed hugging him back.

"Love you, Mr. Schuester." Noah said playfully.

"Like you, too, Noah." Will joked.

"Come on, with all this bromance I think Noah can call you Will now, right?" I laughed. Noah let go and stared at him with pouty eyes, much like I had earlier.

Will sighed.

"I guess."

"Yes!" Noah cheered. "Thanks, dude." Noah held out his hand.

"I'm gonna regret this." Will laughed, shaking it. "Goodnight to both of you." he turned to walk out the door. I wasn't going to push it by asking for 'goodnight kisses'. _All in good time_ I thought sinisterly.

We set up our bed on the floor and I laid down on his chest.

"Maybe we'll actually get through a night together." I joked, snuggling into him more and kissing his neck, remembering last time we were in this situation.

"Don't jinx it. I know you. I get how you seem to attract all that is bad." he laughed, but I stared at him with sad eyes. Did he really feel that way? After the silence, he turned to look at me.

"And I still choose to be with you." he grabbed my chin. "I love you." he smiled, pecking me on the lips. I gave in.

"I love you, too." I leaned in to give him one last kiss goodnight before nuzzling into his neck and he laughed in contentment.

I woke up devastated.

"Noah? Noah!" he was no where to be seen.

"Will, where's Noah?" I asked terrified.

"I don't know. I assumed he was with you. And here's a better question: What were you doing on the floor?" I rolled my eyes.

"That is not a better question! We lost my boyfriend!" I was panicking.

I pulled out my phone to text him in hopes he was okay.

**Where r u?**

**Im sry. Family coms 1st**


	21. Family Man

What did that mean? Was he in trouble? I headed back to my room after gaping at my phone, freaking out Will a little bit. I got dressed and ready to go.

"Will, do you mind if I go to Noah's? I wanna see what's up." I slid on my jacket.

"I'll take you." he smiled.

"You don't have to Will. I can walk." I opened the door.

"Are you sure?" he wondered cautiously.

"I'll be fine. And I have my phone." I smiled as he slowly began to make his way over to me.

"Okay. I love you." his kissed my hair before hugging me.

"I love you, too." he released me and I headed out the door.

**Hey. Im comin ovr. that cool?**

It took him a bit to respond, but I didn't mind.

**Thatd b gud. I cud use ur help.**

Help? He was starting to worry me as I rounded the corner. After walking 4 more blocks, I managed to find his house. I knocked on the door, hopeful that everything was alright.

"Hey." he smiled, opening the door. He hugged me before we both stepped inside.

"So, what's up?" I asked, hands in my pocket. It was my first time in his house, so I wasn't sure what to do. Plus, if something was really wrong, I didn't want to get too comfortable.

"I'm sorry I had to leave you like that. I didn't want to, but, like I said, family came first. My mom's never home anymore and I just learned that my little sister is really sick. It''s not contagious I don't think, but I just could really use some help taking care of her." I frowned at the sadness of his situation.

"It's okay. Don't worry about it. I'd love to help you, Noah." I took him into another deep hug before his sister's coughing downstairs caught our attention. He grabbed my hand and pulled me downstairs to see a tiny little girl with big brown eyes and long brown hair.

"Is this your friend?" she asked him in a small voice.

"Yeah, Sweetie. This is Nicole." I smiled and walked over, kneeling by her bedside.

"How are you feeling?" I asked her.

"I'm okay. Noah's a good big brother. Are you the pretty girl he loves?" it sounded so cute and innocent coming from her.

"Yeah. I think so." I laughed, glancing back at Noah who just shrugged his shoulders jokingly. "And you're right. He is a really good big brother." I smiled, staring at her.

"I'm sorry he had to leave you. I didn't make him, I swear." she pleaded. I took on a look of sorrow.

"Oh, Sweetie, no. It's not your fault. And I'm glad to be here with you." I took her into a hug, not caring if it was contagious or not. When I released her, she looked sad. She gently brushed a finger on my face. It was only then I knew I let a tear slip out.

"Are you mad?" she asked. I just shook my head.

"Not at all, baby. Not at all." she giggled, smiling again before she had another coughing fit.

"Uh, Nicole. I was going to call you. Do you mind staying with her while I pick up some more medicine? I'll only be about 15 minutes." I stood up and turned to Noah.

"I'd love to stay with her." he smiled, pulling me into a hug. He lifted my chin with his finger and quickly pecked me on the lips.

"I love you" he said, smiling against my mouth. I couldn't help but giggle.

"I love you, too."

"Be good okay? Nicole's gonna take care of you while I go out to get some more medicine. Love ya, Katie." he kissed her on the head.

"I love you, Noah." I smiled. He was lucky to have her and she was lucky to have him. He smiled before heading upstairs to leave.

"So, Katie. What do you want to do?" I wondered how to start things off.

"Will you sit with me? Noah always sits with me." I couldn't resist. She scooted over and I lounged on her bed, her hugging my side.

"Thank you." she whispered. I nodded, stroking her hair.

"He talks about you a lot." she said after a while.

"Really? What does he say?" I had to admit, I was curious.

"Well, he says that you're really pretty and nice. And he told me you're a really good singer. He says he loves you a lot." I smiled at what the little girl was saying.

"Well, I love him too. Your brother's a really good guy."

"I know." I thought about how surreal this moment was. I mean, she made me realize just how strong our love for one another is.

"Will you sing for me?" she asked.

"Well sure." I automatically responded. "But how about we wait for your big brother to come back. He'd love to join in. He's really talented, ya know."

"I hear him play in his room, but I never really got to hear him." I smiled. She was in for a treat. We sat while I held her close until Noah came back.

"She give you a hard time?" Noah laughed coming down the stairs.

"Of course not. Katie, I'm gonna go with your brother for a minute, okay?" she smiled nodding. Noah gave a questioning look but gave her her medicine and came upstairs with me.

"Can you learn the chords on a song in like 10 minutes?" he scoffed.

"You don't give me enough credit." I pulled up the chords on my phone and showed him.

"I know this song." he laughed.

"Good, because I'm changing the lyrics a little so they match better." After some rewriting and practice, we were ready. We headed downstairs while Noah carried his guitar.

Katie's face lit up as we grabbed two stools and Noah began strumming.

**You were five years old  
>It was getting cold<br>You got your big coat on**

**He hears you laugh  
><strong>**And looks up smiling at you**  
><strong>You run and run<strong>

She started to smile, realizing what song it was.

**Past the pumpkin patch**  
><strong>And the tractor rides<strong>  
><strong>Look now - the sky is gold<strong>  
><strong>You hug his legs and fall asleep<strong>  
><strong>On the way home<strong>

**You don't know why all the trees change in the fall**  
><strong>You know he's not scared of anything at all<strong>  
><strong>Don't know if Snow White's house is near or far away<strong>  
><strong>But I know I had the best day<strong>  
><strong>With you today<strong>

Noah sang at the chorus too, causing his little sister to squeal with joy.

**I'm 18 now**  
><strong>And don't know how my friends<strong>  
><strong>Could be so mean<strong>

**I come home crying and you he holds me tight and grabs the keys**

**And we drive and drive**  
><strong>Until we've found a town<strong>  
><strong>Far enough away<strong>

**And we talk and window-shop**  
><strong>Until I've forgotten all their names<strong>

I leaned my head on his shoulder for a minute.

**I don't know who I'm gonna talk to**  
><strong>Now at school<strong>  
><strong>I know I'm laughing on the car ride home with you<strong>  
><strong>Don't know how long it's gonna take to feel okay<strong>  
><strong>But I know I had the best day<strong>  
><strong>With you today<br>**  
><strong>You have an excellent brother<strong>  
><strong>His strength is making me stronger<strong>  
><strong>God smiles on his little sister<br>****Inside and out**  
><strong>She's better than I am<strong>

Noah smiled brightly as I complimented him. The look in Katie's eyes told me she believed every word. He was her world.

**You grew up in a pretty house**  
><strong>And you had space to run<strong>  
><strong>And I had the best days with you<strong>

**There is a video**  
><strong>I found from back when you was three<strong>  
><strong>He set up a paint set in the kitchen<strong>  
><strong>And you're both smiling<strong>

**It's the age of princesses and pirate ships**  
><strong>And the seven dwarfs<strong>  
><strong>Noah's smart<strong>  
><strong>And you're the prettiest lady in the whole wide world<strong>

I walked over to tap her on the nose, causing her to giggle.

**Now I know why all the trees change in the fall**  
><strong>I know he's been on your side<strong>  
><strong>Even when you were wrong<strong>  
><strong>And he loves to see the sparkle in your eyes<strong>  
><strong>Staying back and watching you shine<strong>

**And I didn't know if you knew**  
><strong>So I'm taking this chance to say<strong>  
><strong>That we had the best day<strong>  
><strong>With you today<strong>

Katie cheered and clapped loudly. She was a very happy little girl, regardless that she was sick.

"I loved you Noah." she outstreched her arms towards him and he carefully scooped her up and she hugged his neck tightly. I smiled, thankful I was able to experience this. It made me appreciate Noah even more than I already did.

Afterwards, when Katie was starting to feel better, we took her out for ice cream and dropped her off when her mother finally came home.

Noah took me home, holding my hand the whole way.

"What did you and Katie do while I was gone?"he asked curiously.

"She told me everything you said about me." I turned to see him blush slightly.

"She did? What did she say?" Now he was just prying.

"She said you thought I was pretty and nice and talented..." I trailed off watching him turn pink as we parked outside the apartment building.

"Did she tell you that I love you." he whispered, his lips an inch from mine. He waited a minute, then kissed me.

"Yeah. She did." I laughed breathing helplessly. "I love you, too, Noah." I smiled, kissing him again, this time more passionatley.

I had finally found true love that went to Hell and back, stronger than ever.

And I was never letting it go. Never letting him go.

My Noah.


	22. Not Ready, Not Yet

**I realize this has taken a REALLY long time to update, but to be honest, I forgot I never finished it. I don't know if this will be the last chapter, but I don't think it will be. I appreciate all of you who have supported me and would love reviews! Thanks, you guys! I love you! Nicole, xoxo**

* * *

><p>"Hey, Will!" I called as I walked in the door to see him looking through the yearbook.<p>

"Hey" Will called back smiling. "So what went on? Is everything okay?" he asked, staring at the two of us, putting the book down.

"It was just Noah's sister. She is the sweetest little girl you'll ever meet. She was sick and his mom worked, so he had some trouble taking care of her, that's all. She's feeling better now, though." I smiled. Noah laughed at my love for Katie.

We sat down in my room and just talked to each other. It didn't matter what about, just the fact that we were communicating and spending time together was all that we needed.

"Where do you think you wanna end up?" I asked, playing with his fingers as we cuddled together on my bed, both sitting against the wall.

"You mean like...a job?" he seemed nervous.

"Well, yeah. A job, a career." I clarified.

"I-I don't really know." he said as I curled myself into him and intertwined our fingers. I could see the look of defeat on his face. That killed me.

"It's okay." I said sincerely, kissing his jawline. A small smile appeared on his face, but it didn't last. "Don't feel bad, please." I whispered, again kissing his jawline.

He turned to smile at me and kissed my lips for a minute.

"I just don't want you to think any less of me. That I ain't good enough" That killed me, too. I felt the same way. I even confessed that reality to Mr. Schue.

"Never, Noah. I promise. Even with all that went on between us, I never stopped loving you, regardless of what you did, and I promise that I never will. I love you." I was absolutely serious and he understood, kissing my head.

"Thank you. It's all I ever really wanted. Someone to actually give a damn. I love you too, Nicole." I smiled, and hugged tightly to his chest.

"I never want to let go of you." I sniffled into him. He stopped for a moment, realizing the seriousness and honesty in my voice.

"You don't have to. Ever. I promise." I squeezed him tighter, and he squeezed back, too. He kissed my head repeatedly and stroked my hair. My eyes soon grew tired, but I wouldn't tell him that. I fought the slumber to stay up with him. After a few moments, I took his hand and pressed each of his fingertips to my lips, very softly. I tried to do everything to keep myself awake against his chest, but it was no use. I assumed he felt me tense because he rubbed my back soothingly and kissed my head another time.

"I love you" I whispered.

"I love you, too" I could feel his smile instantly and knew he wouldn't be angry if I slept. I closed my eyes and let sleep overcome me.

* * *

><p>I woke up in Noah's arms, right where I dozed off. It was a miracle. Will was in the doorway, just watching. He seemed embarrased when I turned to see him, but I stopped him before he could walk away. I got up, careful not to wake Noah, and hugged Will quickly.<p>

"Good morning!" I said cheerfully, but quietly.

"Sorry, I was just - " I just laughed as he tried to develop a reason.

"Will, calm down! It's okay! I'm just happy you didn't pull me off of him and throw him on the floor!" I laughed quietly, watching him grow less tense.

He laughed uneasily, then seeing my expression and watching Noah shuffle in his sleep for the sudden absence, he eased up.

"It's early, still. Go back to him." Will smiled.

"Are you sure? You don't mind? I don't mind staying up." I felt guilty leaving him up alone knowing I was going to have to leave home sooner or later.

"No, no. Go back to sleep. If you want, I can wake you up later or I'll let you sleep. Just go to sleep. He's throwing a fit over there!" Will laughed as Noah reached groggily for me and tossed uneasily. I kissed Will's cheek and gave him a quick hug before retreating back to the bed. I crawled carefully into Noah's arms and once again he was content and squeezed me against him. I was happy. I could feel Will's gaze still upon us, but I let it go and nuzzled my face into Noah's neck.

"I love you" I whispered into Noah's neck. I knew he couldn't possibly hear me, but I still needed to say it.

After what was probably 3 hours or so of laying in his arms, I felt him stir and he awakened. After a minute of trying to orient himself with his surroundings, he stared at me shocked.

"What? What's wrong?" I asked alarmed.

"Nothing - it's just...I'm not kicked out on the streets or beaten bloody in a corner and you're still in my arms!" he started out dramatically, then the mood lightened. I huffed and turned away, annoyed he scared me so badly.

"Hey" he smiled, kissing my cheek. "I'm sorry." he giggled. Finally I gave up.

"Good morning, Noah" I laughed. "You're forgiven." he kissed my neck and I smiled. Suddenly, I remembered Will and unwrapped myself from Noah's strong grip although he was unwilling to let me go. He tugged at my arm, reluctant to let me leave without explanation, but I shook him off and signaled him to be quiet.

Will was walking towards the kitchen, and I tip-toed behind him before bounding onto his back. I held tightly to his neck and wrapped my legs around him.

He gasped for a minute, then collected what was happening and held my legs and started to walk.

"You're lucky you're not Noah or you'd be on the floor within half a second." I laughed. I scoped the room and found Noah leaning against a wall, smiling like a madman.

"Aww, I think he wants a piggy-back ride, too!"

"We can't always get what we want. He's not getting one. I swear, between the two of you, you're trying to kill me." he joked as he began to set me down on my feet again.

"I love you, Will!" I said innocently as I hugged him.

"Yeah, yeah. I hear you." he rolled his eyes.

"I love you, too, Pops." Noah laughed walking over for a hug, too.

"Sure thing, you guys." Will smiled. "What do you want to eat?" he questioned.

I thought for a moment and Noah stared at me, not even trying to hide the smirk on his face.

"Omelet?" I checked with Noah and Will.

"How about you Noah?" Will asked sweetly. We got him into a very good mood.

"I'll have what she's having. I've never really had a family breakfast and I could care less what I eat. Thanks, dude." Will looked at him so maturely until the "dude". You had to give him credit, though.

"Alright. I'll call you when it's ready." he smiled, heading to the kitchen. Noah instantly took me in his arms. I knew Will would be watching as he cooked, afraid to lose us. It was obvious he was scared. I was scared too. I didn't want to have to say goodbye to the person who had taken care of me willingly, regardless that he was my teacher. He put up with a lot from me - I mean a lot - and it felt so wrong leaving him behind. My eyes started to water, and I dismissed the thoughts. I'd cross that tear-covered bridge when I came to it.

"You okay?" Noah asked against my neck. I simply nodded, afraid my voice would show my true feelings.

"Okay, you guys!" Will called happily after a few quiet moments. Noah let go and headed to the table, obviously hungry. I just laughed, trailing behind. By the time I got to the table, Noah had half his food in his mouth and was trying to force it down with a glass of water, hoping to shove more in. Will stared in awe. I ate at a quicker pace than usual, but not as fast as him. Will sat down with a cup of coffee and watched as Noah placed his dish in the dishwasher.

"Thanks, Will." he sat down casually as we stared at him.

"He must've hated that, Will." I laughed as I continued eating.

"I bet" Will laughed as well, shaking his head in amazement.

Noah played with his phone as I finished eating, and Will was again inadvertently staring at us. I smiled to myself, but also died a little inside. After putting my dish in the dishwasher, I sat at the table and watched the two of them.

"Thanks, Will." I said after a long silence. "That was really good"

"You're definitely welcome. Really, it was nothing. You kids are happy with anything." he laughed quietly. My heart dropped dramatically.

After another long silence, Noah spoke.

"Do you mind if I head home to check on my sister? I know my mom would've called me if something was wrong, but I still wanna see her." It was hard to believe he felt he needed permission to go.

"Absolutely. Take all of the time you need." I smiled.

"You wanna come with? I know how much you love Katie." he grinned brightly.

"That's okay, Noah. I think I'll enjoy the quality time with Will. But thank you." I bit my lip at first, but realized that was what I truly needed. Will stared at me in complete shock as if I had just sacrificed something entirely huge just for him.

"Are you sure?" Will asked cautiously. I stared into his eyes for a longing moment, disregarding Noah's gaze that fell upon me. Will's eyes were so joyed at this decision, but it was obvious he tried to hide it in front of Noah, and of course if I changed my mind.

"Y-yes, definitely. Thanks, again, Noah. Tell her I was thinking of her, though." I finally said, remembering I was asked a question.

"Yeah, s-sure." Noah smiled and walked over to peck my lips and cheek, then I stood up to hug him.

"Noah...thank you." I whispered softly - barely audible. I knew he was smiling before I pulled back. "I love you. Drive safe." I said squeezing his hand. As I took my seat, he made his way to Will.

"Sir, -" Noah started like a gentleman, but was cut off by Will's embrace.

"You're a good kid, Noah." I heard him say. He said something else that made Noah glance at me, but I couldn't make it out. Will eventually let him go, and Noah headed out the door.

I stared at Will for a long, long moment, just as he stared at me. It wasn't long before my eyes watered with each passing second. I swallowed hard and tried to collect my thoughts, but it was all too much for me to gather.

"Will..." I started, but by the time the name escaped from my lips, the tears started. I stood up and he did the same. I simply collapsed into his grip as we both let the tears flow. I gripped his back tightly as he did mine.

"I-I..I just-" he couldn't complete a sentence as he struggled for more breath to cry. It only made me want to cry more.

"I don't - I can't leave, Will." I breathed into his shoulder. I shuddered at the fact that I had just told him one of the most truthful statements regarding my feelings. He stopped for a moment - paused in shock. He held my racketing body and led me to the couch where I again sobbed endlessly into him.

"Shh, shh" was all he could whisper to me in fear his voice would break. He still continued to cry, but did all he could to comfort me. My gut dropped imagining Noah walking in on such a sight, but I knew I had time and I wasn't going to waste it. I took deep breaths and did what I could to compose myself.

"Will...Will, thank you. J-Just thank you for everything. I wouldn't be here today without you. I love you so much." I said honestly, staring deep into his tear-filled eyes.

"I did what was right and I haven't regretted it since. You've made life crazy, but interesting. I wouldn't change a thing. I love you, too, really. You're truly like a daughter to me. Thank _you_." I hugged him tightly and wiped at my eyes. I felt my leg vibrate, but I refused to let go of Will. I knew at that moment we were both so content and felt the same about everything that I wasn't going to ruin it. I was better than that. I knew it was probably Noah anyway.

"As much as I hate to say this you've got to...well you're gonna have to, uh, - leave." he swallowed hard and I could already see the anxiety. His face was both pain and fear-stricken for a brief moment before he regrouped to hide his true feelings.

"I know, I-I know. Just...I'm not ready. Not yet, anyway. I still need time to part. I hope the glee kids don't leave yet, either. I still need them here. I've never been good with goodbyes, but I'm going to do my best. I need to do this right for once." Will knew very well how I felt about leaving, but something else seemed to touch him.

"That song, that song you sang...'Get It Right'. That was entirely eye-opening for me and now I see those same feelings reappearing. You're not going to ruin your goodbyes or whatever it is you believe won't go right. You don't give yourself enough credit. No one's perfect." I glanced down at how powerful his words were. I couldn't admit how right he was. I simply nodded, still staring down, and his hand touched my shoulder. Just as I looked up to stare into his saddened eyes, I heard a slight knock and then the creak of the door.

I reluctantly turned to see Noah who seemed very cautious.

"Hey, how's Katie?" I asked sweetly, but obviously guarded. I could feel Will's eyes still on me and I knew they wouldn't leave until he was directly addressed.

"She's great. She missed you, though." he smiled, laughing at the memory of his previous encounter with his sister.

"Aww, I'm glad" I smiled weakly.

After a silence, Noah took a seat next to me on the couch and watched as Will's eyes studied my movements. He leaned back and seemed to think intently.

There I was - caught between two men I loved more than anything - and entrapped by time that refused to slow down so goodbyes didn't come as fast.

I wasn't ready. But would I ever_ really_ be ready for this type of thing?


End file.
